It’s romance-related.
I F34, met this guy on a dating app while traveling in one region of the world. We ended up spending a night together: the chemistry was insane. From the intense physical attraction to the effortless conversation, everything just clicked. It felt like we were a perfect match, and the night in bed only confirmed that.
A bit about him: he’s insanely attractive- the kind of guy who naturally gets a lot of attention (even that night, I noticed other girls eyeing him). He’s well put together, charming, intelligent, thoughtful, and genuinely sweet. Basically, the kind of guy most people would dream of marrying. Ironically, I was just looking for a fun hookup that night- nothing more.
I don’t use Instagram, but he showed me his stories, and I saw he has thousands of followers. That whole influencer/popular vibe? I usually stay far away from it- I’ve been down that road before and know it’s not for me long-term.
Still, what happened that night was different. The connection we shared: emotionally and physically was something I haven’t felt in a long time. The next morning, I was left thinking, “What the fck just happened? 🤯”
We didn’t meet again afterward. To be honest, his texting style isn’t great- it was like that even before we met. I think every other girl would have given up and passed on the idea of meeting him- he’s that bad. I sort of gave it a push and initiated everything bc tbh I just was super attracted to his look and wanted to fck him.
And between that, how attractive and “out there” he is, and his social media presence… I decided to quietly step back. I thanked him for the night- initially wanted to meet him for the last time and hug goodbye in person to sort of close things respectfully, but he was busy and couldn’t make it to meet me. So I voice noted him saying it was great meeting him, had a blast and I wish him all the best and said my byes. Then he asked if it was ok if we continued talking because he liked me. I kind of dodged the question, he then mentioned that he will miss talking to meet until we meet again in destination X in 4 months (something we briefly talked about on our night out), I also did not reply to that, never said anything like this back to him. I avoided it.
Even after that, he kept texting me random, casual updates — nothing flirty, just checking in. I always replied politely, but briefly. I never initiated anything.
The truth is, I really fcking like him. I’m very physically attracted to him, and as a person, he impressed me DEEPLY. But I know myself- if we kept talking, I’d get emotionally stuck. I don’t love him, I’m not attached per se- but the feelings are strong enough that they scare me a little. Instead of explaining that, I just went cold. That’s my coping mechanism. I emotionally withdraw and disappear when things get too complicated. He’s probably stopped texting now because I never showed much interest.
I’d never ghost him- that’s not me. I don’t want to hurt him or come across heartless. But I also know I can’t stay in touch, not after that night. Part of me wishes we could be friends, but I know that’s not possible. Also- let’s face the truth I barely know him, what friendship would we mean here lol? FWB only.
Now I am worried that he maybe is feeling bad about himself/rejected? I know I have to reach out and clarify it with him. I will.
But am I stupid here, overthinking? What would y’all do if you found something so rare with someone?
Edit:
1) Sharing this story, because maybe this brings some clarity to people who were my man in this story- remember, things are not always black or white only
2) me and the man live on different continents, and a romantic relationship is absolutely not possible.
Comments
Sounds like you’re protecting your emotions, which is understandable. If it feels rare, maybe consider being honest with him.
Just be honest with them. Guessing games are exhausting
Finding guys for a one nighter is so dangerous. You don’t really know who this guy is? You could end up going missing. Find other ways to meet men definitely not for one nighters.
Well, her bar is raised. She’s now a childless cat lady.
your feelings and actions are understandable. You found a rare connection, but you’re protecting yourself from emotional attachment and complications, especially given the long distance and his public persona. It’s okay to step back for your own emotional well-being, even if it seems cold. If you feel he might be hurt or confused, sending a kind, honest message to gently explain your reasons could offer closure and peace for both of you.
You are an adult woman. If you want to marry some guy you had one stand with ive heard of crazier things, but honestly this just reads like a rage bait. What practical advice do you really expect from reddit??
If your connection is that strong, don’t be afraid to pursue it. You’ll never know if this is true one thing you’ve been searching for.
Going through it exactly like you right now. I’m not going to fight it.
Chad chases ONS.
Nice story bro
I think you should tell him exactly how you feel. That you know yourself and when you really like someone, you’re afraid you’ll get attached being transparent and authentic, you could never go wrong with that. At least then you’ll be able to have an answer. He may be able to give you what you need or may not and then you’ll know. Being avoidant is self sabotaging.
You dodged a bullet. One night stands and those texts are “fun” for people like him. What you did is right and keep moving, no explanations needed. I’m sure he would have jumped into another conversation with a different woman by now.