TL;DR how do I get guys to like me !!!!
So I’ve just turned 21(whooop!) and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I have to say I’m not overly boy crazy, which I don’t think is helping me because I literally cannot find the effort in playing the weird games guys like to play before they actually respect you as a person 😭.
Anyway most of the time I’m not too bothered about the fact I don’t have a boyfriend. But I do start to get scaries when I actually think about how I’m ever going to get one. Like guys don’t really appear to be that into me. When I’m out with my friends the guys will sometimes try it with me after they realised my friend isn’t interested (and that situation is just awkward) but usually they’re all happy to just try and get with my friend and I’ll end up just stood there. I also have no luck on dating apps ! When I was at uni I’d get a fair few matches but now I’m back in my home town I’m getting nothing. I also hate to be that person but there’s some issues I seem to keep having with guys that seems to have a lot to do with the colour of my skin.
I don’t think im ugly. Like I’ll say I’m not the best looking but I take care of myself, go gym and all that. And I’m fairly smart (graduating with a first class BSc). So I’m not really sure why I have so much trouble with guys. My friends just say I’m unlucky, or that I’m intimidating, or that like I just don’t waste my time with guys. But I don’t really buy that because that implies that girls with boyfriends are the opposite – which I don’t think is accurate at all.
Anyway this is just such a long rant because I can’t really talk to my friends about it because they don’t really understand the problem. Like they have no issues with guys liking them haha, whereas I usually get some guy that only wants to sleep with me and make uncomfortable comments about my race, or no attention at all. I know that this may be a case of I need to make the first move but honestly I’m very sensitive to rejection and even tho I don’t think Im ugly I also can’t imagine anyone liking me romantically.
Anyway I’m ready to have a damn boyfriend ! Anyone to any advice ? Or any comforting words because I’m like convinced that I’m a lot uglier than I think I am or that there’s something wrong with me that I’m not seeing 😭.
Comments
Side note: I’m new to Reddit so I’m so sorry if the format or like the group I’ve ended up posting in is wrong !! I’m trying to learn
You have standards, you have confidence, you’re put-together, you have priorities that aren’t seeking the attention of the opposite sex. You’re a catch, and you’re not willing to settle for scraps. Be proud of yourself. I don’t even know you, and I’m proud of you. The right guy will come along, you just keep being your own damn fine self and try not to compare yourself to others.
Edit: also, don’t forget to keep an eye out for the respectful and/or endearingly oblivious guys around you. Maybe you’re already the star in a few other skies, but they won’t approach you bluntly.
don’t change who you are, especially if it’s to get guys to “like you”. Grow, improve yourself, get stronger, smarter, wiser…. but do it for yourself.
Don’t compare yourself with other girls. They might seem to have it easier, but trust me everyone has issues.
Life is a long journey. You’ll get a boyfriend eventually, don’t worry. And when it will happen ,you’ll face new challenges. This is how it works. One step at a time.
But right now the next milestone is not to be attractive in the eyes of guys. Be careful with that, it’s a trap. You won’t build your happiness in that way. The next milestone is to build the best version of yourself. Someone who you’re f**ing proud of. Smarter (you’re already doing that), wiser, stronger, more confident, less dependant on how people feel about you.
This is the way