Not good looking and Im not a ladies man either . But, basically started to give less of a fuck about things which made me a bit more relaxed and appear more confident. Started having women actually approach me after a while.
Fixed my personaliy. Looks are the bait but your personality is the hook. First dates were common but second dates were rare, which is not surprising becaise I was, quite possibly, a huge asshole when I was younger.
This will totally enrage a few people but it was the truth for me: I started dating more traditionally and conservatively. I was chivalrous, embraced my masculinity, adopted the role of provider, protector and leader, and became more direct in my communication.
Up until that point, I had taken a “culturally progressive” approach and always found myself in the friend zone.
I had low self esteem and just accepted anyone who took an interest in me, but I only really looked at if I was attracted to them. Completely ignored red flags because I craved the attention.
Changed my diet, lost weight, lifted heavy weight 3 times a week, cardio at least once a day, sleep 8 hours a day, meditate 20 min a day, and dedicated some time every day to learn new skills related to making money. No magic tricks, just working on myself little by little and 1% improvement a day brought big changes over the years. I’m in a relationship for over 14 years and the relationship only got better with every year because of it.
I don’t think I qualify as good looking, but I can say the best thing is find ways to meet and talk to people. For me, that’s finding local game and trivia nights, normally hosted at bars, but sometimes restaurants host them too.
Make sure the activity is one that will make it necessary to talk with other people you don’t know – so trivia nights where you’ll be assigned a team, or games that require communication (so board/card games are better than video games, but video games can work as long as it’s all in person).
Basically, do whatever you need to do to talk to people… new people you’ve never met. It may only be for a night, or you may make a new friend or find a date. If you make a new friend, maybe they know someone who is looking. If not, you made a new friend and can keep trying. If you find a date, hopefully it goes well. If not, rinse and repeat.
Basically, you’re networking, but for social reasons instead of work reasons.
At the risk of oversimplifying things, it was becoming confident in my ability to carry on a conversation. There’s a lot that goes into that but I’d say my number one piece of advice is that if you hit that panicky feeling point in a conversation where you don’t know what to say it is almost always better to ask a question than it is to blurt out some wild ass nonsense or to stay silent.
Comments
Being good looking doesn’t mean much if you’re awkward or unsure, confidence and real connection make the difference.
Not good looking and Im not a ladies man either . But, basically started to give less of a fuck about things which made me a bit more relaxed and appear more confident. Started having women actually approach me after a while.
Fixed my personaliy. Looks are the bait but your personality is the hook. First dates were common but second dates were rare, which is not surprising becaise I was, quite possibly, a huge asshole when I was younger.
This will totally enrage a few people but it was the truth for me: I started dating more traditionally and conservatively. I was chivalrous, embraced my masculinity, adopted the role of provider, protector and leader, and became more direct in my communication.
Up until that point, I had taken a “culturally progressive” approach and always found myself in the friend zone.
I had low self esteem and just accepted anyone who took an interest in me, but I only really looked at if I was attracted to them. Completely ignored red flags because I craved the attention.
Changed my diet, lost weight, lifted heavy weight 3 times a week, cardio at least once a day, sleep 8 hours a day, meditate 20 min a day, and dedicated some time every day to learn new skills related to making money. No magic tricks, just working on myself little by little and 1% improvement a day brought big changes over the years. I’m in a relationship for over 14 years and the relationship only got better with every year because of it.
Date outside my country
I don’t think I qualify as good looking, but I can say the best thing is find ways to meet and talk to people. For me, that’s finding local game and trivia nights, normally hosted at bars, but sometimes restaurants host them too.
Make sure the activity is one that will make it necessary to talk with other people you don’t know – so trivia nights where you’ll be assigned a team, or games that require communication (so board/card games are better than video games, but video games can work as long as it’s all in person).
Basically, do whatever you need to do to talk to people… new people you’ve never met. It may only be for a night, or you may make a new friend or find a date. If you make a new friend, maybe they know someone who is looking. If not, you made a new friend and can keep trying. If you find a date, hopefully it goes well. If not, rinse and repeat.
Basically, you’re networking, but for social reasons instead of work reasons.
At the risk of oversimplifying things, it was becoming confident in my ability to carry on a conversation. There’s a lot that goes into that but I’d say my number one piece of advice is that if you hit that panicky feeling point in a conversation where you don’t know what to say it is almost always better to ask a question than it is to blurt out some wild ass nonsense or to stay silent.