so me (f18) and my bf (m18) got into a big fight yesterday. we are not together rn bcs we live kinda far away so we had only talked about it trough messages. for context, my bf went on an overnight hiking trip with his girl friend, i don’t know really know this friend of his but he talks about her kind of often, which im not really comfortable with. the same night he went on that trip i had a dream about him and his friend- he cheated on me with her right in front of me and i was really sad. he texted me later that he arrived home but his location was still at his friends place (he took her home after that trip) and then he stopped replying because he went to sleep. i was kinda worried but i figured the location thing is just a bug and let it go. later that day, when he was still asleep i texted him that i won’t come to his place tomorrow. (i never agreed i would come on this day because i wasn’t sure when i wanted to travel again, i’m not home very often so i wanted to enjoy little more time at my parents place.) when he woke up he texted me he was sad that i wasn’t coming and that he didn’t understand why and when i texted him back i was a bit dry because i still had mixed up feelings about him and his girl friend. (i’ve got some trust issues cuz of my ex, so i’m aware that on my part this wasn’t very mature.) we started arguing and he said that he wants to cancel our vacation because of this so i was super disappointed and then we just went back and forth about some stupid things and we didn’t listen to each other. we were both pretty mad and stopped talking for the rest of the night. i felt super bad so i texted him my apologies and explained him what was my issue- his friend. i explained that i trust him, i was just worried and jealous and that i dont want them to stop being friends cuz of me and he told me how absurd i was. i couldn’t sleep that night and ended up crying on my bathroom floor the whole night. in the morning he didn’t text me so i did and asked him if he was okay and that started out another long conversation about him not wanting to go on our vacation and that he doesn’t know how to act around me after this, that this is the worst summer of his life and yappa yappa, i ended up apologizing again and i feel super bad but i’m just so helpless rn. idk what to do, i cant sleep, i cant eat and i all i think about is this argument. i don’t know what’s going to happen. we established that we forgave each other but i know that neither him or i are okay after this and i just don’t know what to do.
we dont fight very often we just argue about some stupid little stuff but this argument was huge. we’ve been together for seven months.
TL;DR my and my bf had a really bad argument and the main problem was his girl friend and now he wants to cancel our vacation. idk what to do
Comments
So what did he do that was so wrong?
He went on a hiking trip with a friend. You say you trust him, but it’s clear you don’t and you’re letting a dream ruin your relationship.
Does the girl friend flirt with him? Does he flirt with her? Has she actually done anything to you?
I get that you’re hurting and your feelings are valid. Jealousy, insecurity, even bad dreams can shake you. But it’s also important to admit that you acted based on fear, not facts. Pulling away, being cold, then expecting him to stay cheerful wasn’t fair. His reaction may seem harsh, but he probably felt confused, weirded out by your reaction, and blamed for something he didn’t do.
If you want to fix this, let things cool down a bit. Then talk to him openly. Not to accuse, but to explain what you felt and why. Own your part without expecting him to read your mind. If there’s trust between you, this conversation can bring you closer. But trust has to be real, not just something you say.