We have all dealt with that one person at the office who tries a little too hard to make their “aesthetic” a personality trait. You know the type: they spent six months abroad and now they can’t go to lunch without mentioning how the espresso just isn’t as good as it was in London. But one 28-year-old on Reddit just shared a story about a new hire whose need for attention literally resulted in her abandoning her vehicle on a random street. If you have ever been accused of “purposefully excluding” someone just because you didn’t want to ride in their car, you are going to want to sit down for this one.
The Original Poster (OP) works in a small, tight-knit team of seven. A few months ago, they hired Jess, a 26-year-old who apparently thinks having lived in London is a substitute for a soul. She spends her days talking about the expensive lifestyle she used to have while complaining about being “soooo broke,” even though the team is paid incredibly well. The OP is perfectly polite to her—he offers her coffee, he asks about her weekend, he does the office small talk—but he isn’t trying to be her bestie. He’s known the rest of the team for over three years, so obviously, the vibes are a bit different with them.
The drama kicked off when the group planned a dinner to celebrate a coworker named Chris getting married. Since the OP doesn’t drive, Chris offered to give him a lift to the restaurant. It was a simple, straightforward plan until Jess decided to make it about her. Despite being a person who somehow manages to drive herself to work every single morning, she suddenly claimed that driving alone was “nerve-wracking” and insisted the OP ride with her instead. When he declined and said he wanted to chat with Chris about wedding stuff, she didn’t take it well.
Now, this is where things go from “annoying coworker” to “actual psychological thriller.” While everyone else made it to the restaurant, Jess vanished into thin air. It turns out she had a panic attack mid-journey, left her car on a random street somewhere, and took an UBER home. The next day at work, instead of being embarrassed about her behavior, she went on the attack. She accused the OP of “purposefully excluding” her from the group and claimed his refusal to ride with her was a calculated scheme to keep her away from the dinner because he doesn’t like her.
The OP, who clearly has zero time for this bullsh!t, told her flat-out that she excluded herself. He pointed out that Chris had offered her a ride too, which she refused, and that she could have easily UBERed to the restaurant instead of ditching the whole event. But of course, in the world of a workplace Karen-in-training, being told “no” is the same thing as being bullied. She wants to be the main character so badly that she’s willing to litter the streets with her own car just to prove a point.
It is honestly wild how some people think they are entitled to your time and physical presence just because you share a cubicle. The OP isn’t her therapist, he isn’t her driving instructor, and he certainly isn’t her emotional support animal. If you can’t handle driving to a restaurant on your own, maybe don’t accept an invite to a group dinner, or just take the ride that was offered by the person actually driving!
The OP’s coworker, Chris, is playing the “peacekeeper” role, telling the OP that it “wouldn’t have hurt” to just ride with her. This is exactly how people like Jess get away with this kind of behavior! When we tell people to “just be nice” and ignore their own boundaries to soothe someone else’s irrational demands, we are just rewarding the sh!t-show. Why should the OP have to miss out on a fun chat with his close friend just because Jess has decided she can’t operate a motor vehicle without a witness?
Also, can we talk about the car? She literally just left it on a random street. That is not a “panic attack,” that is a performance. If she was truly in a state of medical emergency, she would have called for help, not used the incident as a weapon to guilt-trip a coworker the next morning. It feels incredibly manipulative to abandon your property and then blame a guy for “making” you do it because he wouldn’t sit in your passenger seat.
The OP is wondering if he’s the ahole, and we are firmly on Team “Leave Me Alone.” He is paid to do a job, not to manage the travel anxieties of someone he barely knows. He has been professional, he has been helpful, and he even offers her hot drinks! If he doesn’t want her on his Instagram or in his car, that is his right. You don’t get to demand “best friend” treatment from people you’ve only known for eight weeks.
If Jess is so broke from her London days, maybe she should worry more about the towing fees she’s going to rack up and less about who is riding in whose car. This kind of office drama is exactly why people want to work from home. It is exhausting to have to navigate the fragile egos of people who think that a polite “no thanks” is a declaration of war.
So, NTA (Not the Ahole). The OP did nothing wrong by choosing to ride with his friend. Jess needs to find a way to manage her own transit or take the ride that’s offered to her without making it a whole “thing.” And Chris needs to stop telling his friends to set themselves on fire just to keep a “pretentious” coworker warm.
What would you do if a coworker insisted you ride with them and then had a meltdown when you said no? Is the OP being cold, or is Jess totally out of line for abandoning her car and blaming him? Let us know in the comments if you think she should have stayed in London!