As me and my husband approach our 60s, conversations often turn to when we are going to retire. We have several friends who have already done so. We became parents a little later in life and I would like to work until our daughter is totally independent of us.
My question is: has anyone had a spouse who became really grumpy and grouchy in their 50s/60s and it makes you want to keep working even when they retire? I hate to sound like an AH, but I can’t see myself 24/7 with his grouchiness.
Comments
Do you have any goals?
Any reasons to love being alive?
Has he had his testosterone checked?
Just a thought, start working with him on his grouchiness now. Many reasons.
My situation sounds similar. I waited and had twins at 42, to build my career, so they just started college last year.
My husband had become intolerable several years before that. If I could have imagined he’d get better, I would have tried to just push through it, but the idea of spending 24/7 with him was unimaginable.
He has mandatory retirement at 65, so he’d be home in just a couple years, around the clock. I’m still working—from home.
I divorced him as soon they left for college. It was just too much, primarily because he’d become an alcoholic and was insufferable.
Sounds like your situation could be manageable. I wish you all the best.
Well, my husband decided at age 71 to become a woman.
We were very comfortably retired.
He asked for a divorce, I willing agreed,but now I have to work part time to supplement my SS.
Things can always get worse.
My husband was forced to retire because of Covid. Over Covid, I worked from home and had a preview of grouchy and sensitive and easily offended spouse.
I kept suggesting that other retired men that we knew from town (that met every morning at a local coffee shop) kept asking when he was going to come join them. (One of them asked one time, but that was enough to give me ammunition.). Once he started meeting up with that group, he got his complaining and grouchiness out with them and was reasonable after his 2 hours with them every morning. If he brought it in the house, I left the room.
After a year, I retired too.
Now if he gets grouchy, I “blame it on the guys” and ask him if he wants to be as cranky as they are. Most of the time that stops him. If it doesn’t, I find an immediate chore I need to do in the other room and leave the room.
Life is good 80-90% of the time.
Together 48 years.
My husband and i are together 24/7 as we reach 70 and over and we work at making sure our daily life is kind and peaceful.
You need to have a sit down and chat about it. İf your last year’s are going to be peaceful and loving and happy then you need to nip this in the bud. Some of the aging health issues are hard enough without being made miserable by a partner.
Something to think about this idea of being together 24/7 in the same house… I retired nine years ago, and my partner retired twelve years ago. Work on reducing grouchiness through open communication, but also plan for hobbies, girls’ nights out, volunteering, and other activities that bring you happiness.
We work well together, and we navigated COVID-19 without any significant issues. However, those are things to consider and plan for.
Maybe he’ll be less grouchy when he is no longer working. Retirement has brought me such peace and joy!
Are you describing me? Old and grouchy….I’m 73 and old age is hard. I live alone now, just got out of a short term relationship, which wasn’t so good . What do I prefer, living alone or in a relationship where I guess she felt a little bit like you do. Not sure. If my children and grandchildren lived in the same country as I do it would be easier to be single. There really isn’t a clear answer.
He needs to try cannabis on weekends.