Ok so for context the last date l had was a hot mess and for whatever reason the last guys i entertained were violent… So one of my coworkers in a different department asked me out and I ended up giving him my google #. I think word ended up getting to him that it wasn’t my real #. I ended up kinda apologizing and saying we all have our issues. Yesterday in person when he came in the lunch room I asked what we doing for dinner and he said idk what you’re talking about. Do you think now he’s playing hard to get, feeling salty or just not interested?
Sometimes there will be intense looks between to 2 of us but idk
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What the hell is a Google number
I would take getting a fake number(even if it’s not, but that might be how he’s interpreting it) that shes not interested
He sounds salty. His feelings are hurt. If he can’t be a big boy, I’d pass on doing any dates.
I think it is a safe and rational thing to do and wouldn’t bother dating someone who got mad about it, but I am a woman, so 🤷🏻♀️
I wouldn’t be surprised at all if someone I Just asked out gave me a google # at first. That’s a safety thing and makes sense.
How did he ask you out? Was dinner agreed upon?
I only give my fake number out to guys unless we’re in a relationship or i get to know them and know they’re not a creeper. If a guy gets offended i just shrug and say, well, tell men to be better. If women didn’t have to fear for our lives from strange (and familiar) men this wouldn’t be an issue.
so you gave him a fake number, he found out, and then you assumed you guys were going on a date? am i missing something?? he’s not playing hard to get you basically told him you’re not interested?
the other option is you gave him your number, and then your co workers told him it’s fake?? and instead of explaining that it’s not you just said sorry? was there any other conversations after this. genuinely why would you assume you guys are still going on a date!
please give more context
i cant imagine why somebody would care about this. i would just assume it is someone playing it safe, especially being a young woman. seems pretty smart, honestly. i would imagine anybody having an adverse reaction to that is probably a sort of controlling creep you want to avoid anyway.
If it’s still a number that gets to you, then it’s not a fake number. Nothing wrong with being safe. Since he’s being a dick now, you made the right decision not giving him your main number
If simply giving him a Google number is enough for him to blow you off, then move on. You’ve been on one single date, FFS. First dates often don’t go any further. You owe him nothing but professional cordiality at work.
No need to apologize to him. Prioritzing your own safety is not unacceptable or inappropriate behavior, in any way. If you are genuinely feeling sorry about prioritizing yourself, then I would recommend some introspection and possibly therapy for excessive people pleasing tendencies.
Doesn’t matter how we would feel about it, he is clearly offended and embarrassed by it and called off the date. It does seem like he’s being a bit immature in his response.
You could let it go. You could also explain yourself that you use a google number for safety reasons as a rule and that it is nothing to do with him, and try to find out what he is feeling.
Also, I’m curious about how it “got back to him” because if this is your strategy for dating you should either a) be transparent up front with the person to whom you are giving your number or b) stop telling other people about what you are doing.
It sounds like you gave this co-worker a google number and then quickly told another coworker what you did, resulting in that information being transmitted back to him in a manner that he found humiliating (“she gave you a fake number dude, and everyone knows”).
Personally, I think that telling them up front that it’s a google number that you use for safety may serve as an immediate filter for dudes who have issues. Let them expose themselves early.
Google numbers are for safety. It still gets through to you, so it is not a fake number. If the guy does not understand why a woman would do that or makes a big deal of it, he is not a good guy.
You’re being safe until you find out he can prove overtime that he isn’t a psycho
I think he felt rejected; like you were making fun of him by giving him a “fake” number. When he asked you about it to ensure you were interested you gave a really odd response: “we all have our issues”. For me personally, your response would have had me running. Why didn’t you just say: “Sorry for the confusion, this is the number I give out when I first start dating. I hope we can get to know each other better.”
I don’t think he’s being weird or immature to assume you aren’t interested and now he’s confused as to why you are mentioning a date that was never planned or scheduled. It all kind of feels like a joke if you don’t have context and no one wants to feel like a joke.
Commenting because I was a shithead who has cheated before, maybe she has a boo already and doesnt want them to find out
Too many people are looking at this as a standalone instance. The question is how did he find out it was a Google number and does he feel insulted about that.
It’s weird that he found out and I don’t really know how he would unless you had given your real number out to a bunch of other people and then maybe I could see why he’d be insulted. If you had given your real number four or five co-workers that were men and he got a fake one that would be weird and kinda insulting. But he is still acting childish instead of just talking to you about it, but maybe he just did lose interest too.
Maybe you should just ask him. Sounds like both of you are playing this weird game of not communicating like adults
As a man, husband, father… This makes perfect sense to me. Protect your info.. the harsh reality is that it’s like 99.9% men doing bad shit to women, not the other way around. It’s easier to get a new Google number than replace your cell if you are getting harassed.. don’t be with someone who can’t understand that, you deserve better than someone like that
There’s no reason to apologize for taking precautions. The men that have a problem with the very basic safety measures that women take are not worth pursuing.