Im a middle aged plus sized gym junkie, it’s my happy place. I’ve been at my current gym for about 3 years and I’ve had to deal with a few creeps. About 2 years ago, I befriended a woman named Joni who reminds me of my Mom and we became close. She confided that a man had been making her uncomfortable at the gym – it started friendly, but he started being weird and saying stuff like “wow I REALLY like what you’re wearing today” while looking her up and down. Following her in the parking lot. Standing too close. So I became her body guard. He goes by “Coach”.
The first incident happened when she was deadlifting, but she asked if I could work out next to her because Coach was lingering around and she was worried he’d come talk to her. Which he did. I immediately stood between them, and he was standing SO close to her that they were both touching me when I got between them. I told him she was busy working out, and he got irate. “Oh, what I can’t say hi?! You got a body guard now?!” Did not take it well.
He disappeared for awhile, but about a month ago he’s been back and things have escalated. The second incident, a man next to me was deadlifting like 900lbs, but he was dropping the weights. We don’t have drop plates, it damages the floor and it’s REALLY loud. After the 4th loud drop, I finally told him to please stop dropping the weights. He argued with me, we went back and forth, I finally said whatever, drop the weights. Coach overheard this and whined to management about ME. Later in that same workout, I had to put my weight away near him and he was staring me down. I put my hand up and said “you need to leave me alone” and he started shouting at me that I was insane. I got this on audio, it management only cared about hearing ME telling him to “fuck off”.
Management knows about ALL of this, but it’s a boys club and they keep brushing it off. Manager has the fucking audacity to say “well it just seems like there’s something with you every week” (because you don’t do anything about the problems I bring you! There’s no hot water! The AC is broken! A man is staring at and harassing me and you don’t do anything about any of it, so YES there IS something every week!). He tried to backtrack, apologize, said he has sisters and wants women to feel safe. Fine, whatever.
On Tuesday, I see Coach lurking over Joni and talking to her. I go up because I know for a fact she’s panicking on the inside, and I want her to know she’s not alone. Again, he immediately goes off on me for “interrupting”. He gets more upset and things get louder and more intense – I have this all on audio. Not a single goddamn person did anything while this man belittled me, called me gross pet names and told me he was going to call the COPS because I was in his face (I wasn’t).
So I had someone on Reddit clean up the audio for me so I can play it for management today. He doesn’t even get all the way through it before he’s like “I already knew all this. I told you I talked to him already.” Then claimed I interrupted him (???) and was clearly upset I was still talking about it. I apologized and literally started crying as I walked away. I feel so fucking helpless. I wouldn’t be shocked at ALL if this man brings a gun and shoots me in the parking lot. This is Texas, they love guns and hate women here.
Yes, I could change gyms, but why the fuck should I have to do that?? Where is the justice? Where is a MAN who’s a PROTECTOR? Every man I’ve told just wants to change the subject or blame the victim! I’m sending all this corporate too, but I just needed to come here and have other women please VALIDATE ME! Please agree this man is insane! (I have protection, but if prefer not to use it….)
Comments
Is it a big enough area that you’d feel safe sharing the name of the gym? I’m concerned for you, and I’ll admit I’m also concerned that if he does get kicked out he’s going to come after you anyway.
I would guess every single woman reading this FEELS this experience in her bones. And you and Joni shouldn’t have to change gyms to get away from this. BUT do you want to be right, or do you want to have peace?
You are picking a righteous fight right now. But you are all alone in REALLY hostile territory. And you want to protect Joni, but she doesn’t sound like she is going to be in a position to provide cover for you and you might be ramping up her danger right now.
I would 100% back you for taking a stand on this but I am so afraid you are going to lose and be a statistic.
Please be safe.
Anyone who calls themselves “coach” is a lunatic imo
I’m so sorry this is happening and the management are so utterly useless!!
I completely understand and relate to your position of ‘why should you be the one that has to change gyms’, but I would like to ask you why do you want to be paying money to this useless management?? Take your money elsewhere and drag their names through the mud!
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. (I feel like this needs to be my tag line, I type it SO OFTEN. 🙁 )
You def need to bring this to corporate, ESPECIALLY the gyms responses to EVERYTHING that you are bringing up.
Don’t give them your money. You clearly can’t convince them to make meaningful changes, and your continued membership/financial support/participation only reinforces that. Stop going, name and shame (public reviews), and find somewhere else that respects you as a member and human.
You’re absolutely right and you shouldn’t have to change gyms. Then again, do you actually want to keep supporting a place with such awful management?
Girl time for you and your friend to find a new gym. Management is never going to do anything. They clearly want to protect this creep. Your safety is so much more important. There’s gotta be other gyms in town.
You’re absolutely right that you shouldn’t have to be the one to switch gyms, but this is a question of
your personal safety, not pride. Your life is more important than making a point, and the gym has shown that they aren’t willing to protect you anyways, so think about what’s really keeping you there.
Is a gym where the management continuously enables creeps and brushes off women really one that you and Joni want to continue patronizing? If I were you, I’d never give them a single buck ever again. Yes, report management and this creep to corporate. After that, I really, really suggest that you and Joni join a different gym together.
Quit the gym and leave honest reviews
You’re right—management would rather overlook this male pest than protect its female patrons. They have shown from their action and inactions that nothing is going to change unless their hand is forced.
But friend, your safety and happiness are so much more important. Even if you manage to force them to act, do you really think they’ll thank you for it & then move on & treat you fairly??
Don’t continue to put yourself in danger while you wait for a third parties version of justice.
Take video & then let the pest call the police so that they can come laugh in his face, let that be your justice. Blast the owners online and expose their hypocrisy & misogyny—their dangerous, chosen lassitude—to protect other women from this environment, and let that be your justice.
Take your friend Joni and go to a new gym where you both can be safer & happier and just get on with life away from those assholes, and let that be your justice. Stop giving these people your money, and let that be your justice.
(And warn the new gym that you’re escaping a violent gym pest, and that you will call the police if he shows up & they don’t step in!)
When life hands you a shit burger, it’s wise to call out the chef & the management. It’s even more wise to stop eating there & go find a new burger joint!!!
Yes, change gym if you can. Also, any chance you could find a safe male gym buddy? Unfortunately, both the guy and management are much more likely to listen to a man complaining about this…
Man all my homies diss Coach. I hope Coach has the day he deserves
Have you thought about reviewing the gym? I think other women should know too
Name and shame. Get more people to join the gym and all go together. Look for locals on here, facebook, craiglist, other women in the gym. So the next time it happens you will have all these other people standing behind you / around you. The group wont have to say anything, in fact, its better that they dont. Him realizing that he is outnumbered would be the most effective way to get him to stop.
God, not me chatting with someone who goes by “Coach” right now.
Post it on their social media or in a review. That will get their attention fast.
He is insane.. Now pack up Joni and go to a different gym.
Listen – I’m all for standing your ground, but this gym already sucked (heat, hot water, no floor projecting). Go find a better gym, one with a good manager.
You staying there tells the manager all he needs to know. You will keep supporting the business, so he doesn’t have to be better. He might care if you and Joni leave, he might not. But YOUR quality of life will be better and that is all that matters.
If you are genuinely afraid of this man also report him to the police with audio.
Personally I’d be leaning into the thing the manager said about wanting women to feel safe there because right now they don’t and it’s because of creepy gym dude “coach”. And then if management actually had a backbone and wanted women to feel safe he would fucking do something about it. To really hit it home I would ask how he’d react if coach was doing this to his sister. Because I bet my ass that it would be completely different than how he’s treating this situation right now.
If after all that nothing changes from management I would suggest you and Joni do change gyms and leave a really scathing review about their gym on Google or whatever say that the establishment allows creeps to hit on and creep out women, and that its not a safe place for women to work out because management won’t do anything when you speak up unless you have testicles.
Your safety is priority number 1. Management won’t do anything. Cops will of course be useless. Do not put yourself in danger; it’s not worth it.
It absolutely sucks that you or Joni have to find a new gym. But the system is broken and you dying or getting assaulted won’t change that. So you might as well be safe 🙂
Leave an appropriate review online. From a new email you use just for this.
Then, consider making a new Gmail account and start rating the gym 0 starts. Do this as often as you like. Make new accounts each time.
Finally to maybe have more successful conversations in future I’d suggest Lund Bancroft’s book. It will help you negotiate effectively, even if the boys are screwing around.
Link to a free pdf of Lundy Bancroft’s “Why does he do that?”
https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
Idk man do you wanna be giving your money to a gym that not only doesnt care about your safety but mocks you when you bring it up?
Any middle aged man who names themselves Coach is 99% likely to be at least a mega weirdo
“Yes, I could change gyms, but why the fuck should I have to do that??”
You shouldn’t have to. But unfortunately with management like that tolerating, nay enabling people like “Coach” unfortunately that is likely your least bad option out of a plethora of bad options. See if you can bring your friends over to the new gym with you. If you and Joni are having these bad experiences, it’s likely many of your other friends are too.
It seems to me like the local media needs to name em and shame em.
You should consider going to the Justice of the Peace and get a peace bond on this guy. https://texaslawhelp.org/article/peace-bonds
Maybe you and the friend. Take that paperwork to the Regional Manager of LA Fitness and if you don’t get satisfaction from him. Go to corporate legal. Watch heads metaphorically roll.
Never go back to that place again obviously.
Important question – Do you live in a two-party consent state? I’m assuming your Google Drive link is a recording. It’s very important if you do that you take this down and seek more protective legal counsel. This absolutely could be used against you otherwise.
Others have given great advice. Just want to add that you are an absolute badass for sticking up for yourself and Joni. These men walk around bullying, harassing, and mistreating others their whole lives and rarely get any shit for it. Even if you never see Coach or the manager ever again you did the right thing by speaking up.
I’d change gyms simply not to give these fucks my money. Blast their yelp/social media and cancel immediately. Speak loudly about why: failure to create harassment free spaces, especially for women.
Name and shame? Follow Joey Swoll on utube and send him a message
What about contacting the local TV stations, a lot of them have some sort of consumer protection segment.
Link the specific gym (one comment said it’s in Austin TX). Review bomb the fuck out of them, they deserve it and other women deserve the warning before spending their hard-earned money there.
Leave the gym and give them a very detailed review on why you left.
Leave them and then leave a review! I’d hate to support a gym doing this to someone. So sorry this happened to you.
As much as you don’t want to change gyms, why give them your money if they don’t respect you? St Louis has a woman only gym. Do you have one near you?
Where did you get someone to tidy up the audio recording on Reddit? I have audio recordings I need cleaned up but I’m worried that if it ever came to needing to use them in a legal sense I’d by accused of tampering with the recordings. You can pretty clearly hear them say they want to kill somebody or me but there’s static and some parts are less clear.
But more generally how crazy is it that as women we feel like we need to record interactions or events because someone is behaving in a way where we feel like we need to preemptively capture it for the true crime documentary about our death because no one believes us when it’s happening.
Escalate to corporate. Copy and paste this post and recording. you can reach them at 3161 Michelson Drive, Irvine, CA 92612-6536, or email [email protected]. For phone inquiries, call (949) 255-7200.
It’s hard to leave a gym you love, especially depending on the options around you. But safety and peace of mind is so much more valuable. Men can be very unpredictable (or predictable—in bad ways)
Leave a detailed review after you switch gyms.
If this place has a corporate headquarters absolutely complain to corporate as publicly as possible.
This guy sounds awful but the gym management is just as bad for enabling him. Just get out of there. There’s GOT to be another gym in town.
Put the gym (and the Manvel) on blast, publicly, receipts and all, at every relevant forum (is Yelp still a thing?) and get help so it gets a signal boost. Hit them in their reputation and business. It’s the only way they will understand, because it’s not a system made to protect you, it’s made to protect Coach, just on a very specific scale. With systems that work like that, your best choice is to try and make it collapse. Use the power of public embarrassment, use the protections against defamation laws if you’re in the States (while they last), make sure they lose business and either adapt or go broke.
Name and shame all over social media. Then change gyms. Warn every person you know not to go to that gym. Plaster signs up all over town warning people that that gym protects creeps.
That gym should be put on blast as a place that is not safe for women. They need to feel it in their pocket book
I know you probably feel like leaving is “letting him/them win” but it is not worth you or your friends’ safety. Despite the issues with the guy, all the problems that management isn’t fixing is bullshit. Not worth your money, not worth your safety. Write a scathing review and if they have a corporate office, write some emails to complain!
People prefer to call a woman crazy, than to call a man out on his violence.
Lord that sucks. Bullying and intimidation has no place in the gym. If you and your friend really don’t want to change gyms, maybe reach out to Joey Swoll on Instagram. He has a whole platform dedicated to making gyms welcoming to everyone.
If I was Joni I’d make a shirt for myself to wear at the gym that says “the guy standing next to me has a tiny dick and is fucking annoying”
Since you’re in Texas, shoot first, ask questions later.
Only thing I have issue with is you telling off the dude deadlifting 900lbs. Was it actually 900lbs? Because that’s nearly the world record, and I think at that point they HAVE to drop it – or risk fucking up their back.
On a more serious note, find a new gym, but take Joni with you.
You shouldn’t have to leave, but you definitely shouldn’t keep giving them your money
i listened to the audio file…
the tone when you (?) say “walk away!… please walk away!” and him telling you to calm down… it’s so raw. i feel you – like i feel you in this audio file. i’m so sorry. i don’t really have any advice, i’m sorry…
but how many fucking teeth does he have left? 3? 😭❤️
it’s total bullshit you are the one that will end up leaving BUT money talks. take asany women with you as you can . fuck that place. this is 2025 and women have agency. I hate this for you but do it. leave and blast this info everywhere. get your local news reporter involved….I am not even kidding
>Yes, I could change gyms, but why the fuck should I have to do that??
Because it’s become clear that the management does not give two shits about your comfort as a customer, so why should you keep giving them your money?
Name and shame girl
I would leave a negative detailed review on every platform that you can (google, yelp, etc.) Seems like they won’t care until it affects their bottom line or their reputation.
I don’t know the sub rules but I feel like we should always name and shame here. As women, sadly, we so often have to protect ourselves and each other.
You both need to take your business elsewhere that will respect you both. And post truthful reviews on google, yelp, anywhere else you can find. Don’t post anything you don’t have evidence to back up, so the gym can’t retaliate against you.
Everything about this post is why I go to a women only gym.
Thank you for being so brave OP, you are worthy of admiration.
You not only defended and spoke up for yourself, and your friend, but all your sisters here too, and we appreciate you ♥️
I would change gyms and get my own gun and lessons. Not just for him, but the general climate.
Stay safe, y’all 💪🏼
The man in this audio sounds disabled.
So first, everyone here has already given such good advice. Def leave, they do not have your best interest at heart, so why finance them?
It sucks having to leave a gym, or any location, that you have bonded to for one reason or another…but you also have to think of your safety. Being right is not worth being harmed. And anyone who goes around calling himself by a nickname (not just Joey or Danny…but Coach, Boss, Wrench, Hammer…all names I have actually heard ugh) is already a few screws loose.
So personally I would recommend stepping down the interactions…and seeking out another location…or franchise entirely. Management has already made it clear you are considered a bother to them, not a customer. And although “Roach” is most likely a coward, most are, but when his fragile ego is at risk, there is no telling what he is capable of. He already does not consider women to be equals…or even people. So in his mind there would be nothing wrong with whatever course of action he feels is suitable to preserve his own self-image. After all, “can’t have a broad talk down to you like that.”
When you have found a suitable location…switch…and take Joni, and any other female and/or male friend with you. Management made their choice, let them live with it. Then leave reviews detailing why you left…other women need to know. You can’t count on men to stick up for you, you need to be your own advocate for one another.
You are in the right. And there is no justice to be found here. You taking your money, and whoever will come with you, and leaving is the only justice that will be had. You are also a boss for sticking up for yourself and your friend. Helping out a fellow woman in need and in the face of hyper-testosterone. The only way to win this game is to not play. And get on with your life and enjoying your time in it.
Regarding where are the protectors? Well, as you had said, you are in Texas. Most men are probably on his side. And Texas is also a very gun-heavy state. I have been the protector, I am good at being an asshole when needed to be. But I do not care for how aggressively some men apply their “stand-their-ground” loophole in physical confrontations. There are people you can talk down, people you can ease out of a situation, and then jackasses who secretly want for a reason to be violent. Again, the only way to win that game is to not play.
So please, be safe…be well. Get yourself to some place more deserving of your money. Take as many people as you can. And leave no reason for any jackass to escalate the situation. And win by enjoying your life and not letting them occupy more of your life than they already have.
You should change gyms because this gym is shitty.
Is this a corporate gym? if so escalate it up the chain.
I found it a fairly regular picketing with a nice sign and a good explanation in some pamphlets to hold out to current and possible customers can have a big effect on a business.
I did it once with a car dealer who sold me a lemon and wouldn’t take it back. It took me Friday morning with a big cup of coffee, a bag of donuts, and walking back and forth in front of the dealership for a couple hours to get them to take my car back. I cost them at least four or five sales when people came over to me and asked me what the hell is going on.
Since you really can’t stand fight them because, no one’s on your side, leave, and picket the shit out of them until you get bored.
Hey, if you and Joni do find a new gym, (hopefully a women friendly one) I’d immediately go to management and let them know about him, I don’t doubt he’d follow you. Idk if the cops will do anything, but maybe a new gym will, I also hope you can find a woman only gym 🙁
Just an FYI, your email address and full name are visible in Google drive to anyone who listens to the audio recording.
>Texas
what’s their policy on open carry in the gym?
I’m only sort of joking
I’m sorry. Justice is gone in this country as Donald the Elon Fellatio Affectionato runs this place. Your safety is not worth it please be safe out there!
If it’s a chain gym, it’s may be worth bringing it to corporate. If it’s not, review bomb them on yelp and take your business elsewhere. I’d specifically mention in your review that you were a loyal customer of 3 years who got driven away by management’s attitude and poor customer service.
Name and shame
Id post about this in your community reddit or Facebook page with the audio, put that place on blast
Is this like a gym chain that has a corporate office?
I’d go on tik Tok post it get that Joey swoll guy . Go ham on the gym
Maybe instead of complaining to management it’s time for police and pressing charges for harassment or something like it.
Most gyms are part of a larger chain or corporation.
Put your concerns IN WRITING to the owners of the chain. Get other women to do the same. Explicitly point out that local management is dismissing your concerns.
Also. Online reviews. “Many of my female friends have switched gyms because management does nothing about creepy stalkers.”
Change gyms.