It’s coming from a personal experience.
(I have really thick and curly hair and growing up I haven’t ever felt confident in my hair. Maybe it’s because from where I am, people have been telling me since I was a child to get hair straightening when I get older.)
All the hairstylists (I don’t go to a specific salon) I have been to seem to have their own ideas. When I tell them I want to go for this specific haircut, they refuse saying it would look bad on me and eventually give me one that they think would look good. One time, they even temporarily straightened up my hair when I didn’t even ask to. They went on to convince my mother I look much better than before, even I was convinced for a moment. Since two years I have been trying to get my hair cut short (usually it’s longer than shoulder length) but I have been vehemently refused by my mother as well as the hairdressers. Ok, I get it my hair is curly and it will get poofy alot, let’s say it would look very bad. But so what >~<
It’s so hard to manage long, curly, thick hair. I want to look good but also comfortable, in my own way. They always sweet talk me or my mother out of it and seem to have their own ideas thrown at me about what should look good on me. Now, it can just be that the hairdressers around me are bad but I have noticed them doing the same with other people though they seem to favour people with straight hair.
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Agreed that they shouldn’t give their opinion without asking first but they’re still there to do their job and I personally like asking them “what do you think?”. It’s unbiased advice generally.
Just take it with a grain of salt and do you at the end of the day.
If that’s the issue you’re having, learn to cut your own hair. I also have curly hair and stylists have been letting me down for decades. I do all of my own cuts and colour. The only thing I sometimesdelegate to other people is getting braids or twists.
As someone who worked in hair salons for 15 years… Not as a hairstylist myself… I think it sounds like you’ve had poor customer service. In customer service and especially very personal things like doing facials or makeup or hair there is a certain amount of tact and communication skills That are part of the job and it sounds like that’s what’s lacking. However…. to certain extent you have to remember that they are the experts so they’re going to give you their opinion and they want to do what’s gonna be flattering for you and they know more than you about this. There’s nothing more obnoxious than somebody going in for a haircut or colour or going to a make up artist and telling them how to do their job. You should be going to them for advice and take suggestions as a general rule. If I knew how to colour my own hair, I wouldn’t go to a salon and have someone who’s fully trained in the skills required and pay them to do it
I guess one strategy you could use is to cut your own hair close to the length you want it if you want it short. Then go a stylists to get it fixed/cleaned up and they will have no option of not cutting it short because it will already be short.
Another thing you can do is leave. If you ask them to do a certain style and they say no, simply get out of the chair. They don’t deserve your business if they won’t give you what you want.
You mention your mother seems to have a say in your hair so I’m guessing maybe you are still a teenager? If so talk to your mom about it in a relaxed and serious way. Don’t go crazy. Think your argument through. I’d she won’t listen than sadly you may just have to wait until you’re an adult to finally get the hair style you want.
I was a hairdresser for years, no hairdressers should not keep their opinions to themselves, they probably do know better than you do. We style hair all day, I can tell if someones hair isnt thick enough to do what their inspo picture looks like, i can tell if their curl pattern is fragile, I can tell if your cowlick is going to be miserable if we do bangs (fringe). The amount of times someone has said to cut “three inches” and i’ve said “what do you think three inches is?” and they hold up their hand and its barely an inch, is insane. Because those are the same people who will be like omg the hairdresser cut all my hair off and i only wanted a trim! wtf!
but, YES, they should ultimately trim your hair based on your decision. I cant tell you what pretty or ugly is to you. I cant tell you what will make you happy. but i gotta tell you if what youre asking for is going to make you look like Annie.
Sometimes this is true. Other times I wish the stylist would have told me when a hairstyle wasn’t going to work with my hair type. I have coarse, thick hair that stands on end at an incredible length (several inches). I’ve asked for some styles that just DID NOT work with my hair. Had they mentioned it (as some will) I would have asked for something else.
I agree. I just went the other day and this lady keep saying her daughter’s hair was too long. Well, she showed me a picture of her daughter and her hair was the same length as mine.
That’s fine if you don’t like long hair….but obviously I do so KEEP Your opinion to yourself.
Actually disagree lmao why would I go to a professional hairstylist and not want advice from them when it’s literally their profession? I don’t want anyone in my hair that I wouldn’t want/trust their hair advice
Hairstylist here! This sounds a lot like the stylists you are going to aren’t confident in cutting curly hair. Maybe you should find a salon that specializes in curly hair, make an appointment, and be ADAMANT that you want it short. Bring photos, and tell them ahead of time on the phone that you will be cutting it short and ask for someone who is comfortable with that.
I have this same problem. I have a hair style that I like, they try to give me some hot garbage that’s “in fashion”
No, fuck off. Stop trying to give me a mini mullet.
Eh I can see both side of this. If the hairdresser does what you want and it looks bad and you tell people who did it they could lose clients over it. Tattoo artists can be the same way
I feel like this is universal and happens to anyone going for a specific look. They will give their opinion but you can try someone else if you really don’t agree. My hair stylist would straight up tell me no lmao but she was family so you know how that goes
I have a mother like this but it was the opposite. I wanted it long and she wanted it short Are you under 18? My parents were both controlling like this. I have blocked them.
Anyway it could be her telling your hairdresser to do it like my mom. Or it is possible that they don’t listen and do their own thing in the name of their “creativity as an artist”. Think Make up artist
This is a popular opinion
I’m sorry, what? If your hair is too thin or too thick for a certain hairstyle, you don’t want them to tell you this? What if you end up with a silly haircut and they say “yeah I 100% knew this was going to happen, but I’m keeping my opinions to myself, please pay here”
How would you feel if they gave you exactly what you wanted but it didn’t work with your hair type?
I don’t mind having their opinion. But once I heard it and said no, that means no. This is the exact reason why I am low-key trauma by hairdressers. That is MY HEAD, I get to decide and you get to get paid, period.
They’re hairstylists, not hair cutters for a reason.
Yet the ones around me never know what to do with my hair when I tell them whatever works
I remember showing my stylist (of a few years) a cut with shaved sides/slight undercut and she no and that I didn’t have enough hair to do it (??). Went to a different stylist who said hell yeah and those shaved cuts earned me so damn many compliments from men and women alike.
Trust your style and find someone else.
I’m okay with them giving their opinion, I’m not okay with them making executive decisions and doing what they want anyway after I turn down their suggestions. The amount of times I go in for a trim (requesting an inch off specifically) and ending up with it cut short enough that I can not tie it back is astounding.
This sub is just r/rant now. How did you think this was some unpopular opinion you were sharing?
I have personally never had a hairdresser give me their opinion.
If they know the style you want won’t work for your hair type, they don’t want to have a client leave looking wack therefore making them look like they’re bad at their job.
Personally I’ll tell a client what will happen if I cut it like the picture they show me and if they still insist I’ll do it, if they don’t like it then I can say I told ya so lol
How old are you? Are you old enough to make your own decisions without your mother forcing hers on you? Can you pay for your own haircut? Even if you’re a minor, or unable to pay for your own cut, your mother doesn’t own you. I say this as a senior citizen. You should have the right to choose your haircut. If it does turn out to be a mistake that YOU don’t like, it will grow out. If it turns out to be a good decision for your hair type, this should be apparent to your mother, and she should support your style choices in the future.
I also have thick curly hair and my stylist of many years will tell me that a certain cut won’t look good. I’ll take her a picture of something and she’ll say no your hair won’t work for that and I trust her. That being said you do need to find somebody who will do what you want to do.
Clearly this is unpopular.
I do agree, though. I have worn my hair short most of my adult life (I’m an old). I have had so many hair cuts where they won’t cut the back short because it’s “too severe”, or where they want to cut it longer and softer, or with more hair falling into my face.
I’ve also found a lot of hair stylists are not comfortable cutting short hair – and that they sometimes suggest longer styles because they aren’t confident with short cuts. I’ve learned if they try to talk me out of a pixie (especially once I say that I’ve had one before, I swim a lot, show pictures of me with the haircut I want …) I should find someone else.
I’ve also seen a lot of curly judgement – either they want you to straighten it, or shame you if you don’t want to wear the curls like they thing you should. Maybe someone just wants to brush out their curls and wear a ponytail sometimes, or most of the time.
There’s a tension with some hairstylists that they don’t quite understand that their aesthetic sense isn’t what matters. Granny wants a style she has had for 60 years. I want a kind of androgynous style that is really wash and wear, my daughter doesn’t want any layers, and so on. It doesn’t matter if granny’s wash and set or perm isn’t to your taste, or if you think my pixie is just not flattering. It’s using your skill to make the customer happy. My hair won’t look like the inspiration? Tell me what it will look like, give me alternatives, let me decide.
This post is deeply relatable for a lot of queer women who grew up in conservative areas. Hairstylists will refuse to cut a girl’s hair short so easily thinking they’re doing what’s best for her, as if what’s best for anyone isn’t bodily autonomy and the right to try out different styles.
One way around this is to send a photo of your hair and of the style you want in advance and make sure they’re willing to do it before showing up for the appointment. Another is, if you get there and they aren’t willing to do the cut you want, to just walk out and try somewhere else. If you know any queer women in your area, they can probably direct you to salons or barbershops that are willing to cut girls’/women’s hair short—barbershops sometimes do a better job since they do short cuts all day. At the end of the day, there’s no such thing as hair that just doesn’t work short, or you’d see curly-haired guys being pressured to grow it out the same way you are. Good luck finding someone who will give you the cut you’re looking for!
Upvote for a truly unpopular and probably not so smart opinion. I pay my stylist for her opinion. She better give it, lol
OK this comment might catch shit from hair stylists but….
I have long thick curly hair too and I cut it myself. The best thing about curls is it hides some of the opps mistakes. Watch some YouTube videos for help and guidance.
Honestly I wish for the opposite. Every time I go to get a haircut I beg them to just give me what will look good. But no, I always have to pick something out of those super dated awful magazines. I know nothing about hair! You are a professional! Just make me look good, I don’t care about the specifics! lol.
It’s literally part of their job. They’re professionals. If you don’t care if your hair looks like shit just cut it yourself then
Everybody should
Find a hairdresser who gets your hair, follows instructions well and knows the right creative choices for what you want and you’ll be so grateful for their opinion
I’m curious how old you are, since you keep mentioning your mom. I’m a hairstylist and I’ve had situations where a parent and a child have very different opinions on how the child wants their hair cut. Is your mom going behind your back and requesting that the stylist not cut it short? The fact that you’ve seen multiple stylists who refuse to do it makes me think there’s something else going on.
You should try going to a black stylist. I am white but have very thick and very curly hair and all the white stylists I ever had were SO out of their depth (like cutting straight across at ear length so my head looked like a yield sign).
My current stylist has a much better understanding of my hair and what it needs. She cuts with the curl pattern and works WITH my hair rather than against.
Only thing I have to add to this comments is that I think it’s ridiculous that most people think poofy=bad. I LOVE poofy hair!
Ive had the same problem throughout my life with curly hair- the lack of a good stylist/barber used to always hit my confidence
If you could look up gender inclusive, or “punk” hair stylists, they usually know how to do cool curly cuts and are also very nice
Aside from that, maybe see if any of your friends are interested in learning how to cut curly hair? My girlfriend now cuts my hair, and pretty much just follows this youtube tutorial every time
This is so real. When I was younger I wanted to get bangs but my hairdresser told me that I wouldn’t like them and that they would annoy me. I mentioned it to her 2 visits in a row and she refused. Then the third time she actually did it but she made sure to get my dad’s permission first.
I had bangs for 3 years until I cut my hair really short. They never bothered me, I liked how they looked, and when they grew out I would just brush them to the side and it was fine. I had no problems with them whatsoever and now that my hair has grown out longer I’m considering getting them again.
Then go to the chop shops and just get a cut and style it yourself at home. Why go to a professional and then ignore their advice or be mad them for giving the advice you are paying for by going to a professional stylist.
When people say “The customer is always right” this is what they should mean. As long as your opinion is not about the customer risk (in that case you should say it), keep it for yourself unless asked.
The first time I dyed my hair blue (2020, no college prom… I regret nothing), she said “I’m going to dye your roots dark because it’s trendy”. I wasn’t sure but let her do her job. Two weeks later I regretted it and asked her to dye my dyed roots blue.
You’re a hairstyler or a make-up artist, not a cosmetic surgeon. Your procedure is non invasive and easily reversible. Do what your customer asks for.
As a hair stylist the only reason we would ever try and talk someone out of something is if it would seriously damage their hair and we want them to be aware of that risk before agreeing to go through with it or try and come to a compromise. If the integrity of your hair isn’t at risk and they still do this it’s because they aren’t confident in their ability to pull off what you want and are hoping to convince you to settle for something they can do but don’t want to openly admit that.
They don’t really give me hairstyle suggestions since I’m a guy and always get the same cut, but on the other hand… nothing really ruins your confidence like having them wash your hair and ask ‘do you want me to do your eyebrows?? Are you SURE???????’ Ok thanks why don’t I just take a long walk off a short pier.
This is why I stopped going to stylists to cut my hair and got some good scissors to cut it myself. They won’t listen to what people want when that’s their literal job. I know a lot of people do ask the stylist ‘what do you think would look best’ so that’s when they get a chance to speak up. But if someone is very clear on what they want, there’s no reason their personal opinions should prevent them from doing that. It’s honestly so bizarre to me.
If they know it’s going to look bad they usually won’t do it cause it’s putting a bad name on their work. If someone asks you where it was cut and you say them, even if it’s done technically well if it looks terrible it’s going to make people think they’re bad.
Giving suggestions is one thing. Refusing to go with the customer is another. And hair generally grows back, so it’s unlikely to ruin a life even if the customer makes a bad choice.
That’s literally their job. What you want is a hairdresser, not a hairstylist.
I’ve gotten this as a guy before, I don’t even have some crazy style it’s very basic, barbers just tend to refuse to cut the sides as short as I want while keeping the top long, they always say “it won’t blend, it’ll look bad, the top is gonna fall down and it won’t look good” and I say I don’t care, cut it how I’m telling you/how the picture shows
They never do, they always go back to cut more, the top ends up too short and instead of staying pushed back due to it’s own weight, it falls forward or sticks straight up
Then they always try to style my hair before I leave and it’s never what I asked for, I’ve gone as far as shown them the picture I said and asked them what I instructed them to do, then point to myself and ask them why they didn’t do as they were asked, they typically say “oh but it looks so much better this way you’ll see” in which case I respond well you just lost your right to payment, seeing as we agreed on x and I got y, as a contractor if I deliver y when my client asks for x I don’t get paid so neither do you
Only happened twice in my life but fuck does it drive me wild, I’ve had the same haircut for a decade now it ain’t rocket appliances
I too have thick curly hair. My senior year of high school I went short with it. In my early twenties I went even shorter to only a few inches long. Because of the curl type I have, it looked straight at that length. I also loved it for the minimal maintenance and it helped keep me cool in the summer, as I’m sure you know. Thick hair is hot.
Find someone who will give you the cut you want. And if you don’t like it, grow it out again and find a different style that helps to express who you are.
When I went super short, my stylist was mad because she loved my curls, but she did it as it was her job.
I pay my hairstylist (barber) to know what cuts will look best on me. They actually are trained to have an understanding of the aesthetics of a cut on certain faces and head shapes.
I also have irrepressibly curly hair, and I go to stylists/ barbers who specialize in cutting curly hair. I think the average stylist doesn’t really do a stellar job with really curly hair and can find it intimidating.
But if you are going to someone who knows what they are doing, I think their professional opinion should be taken into account.
Can’t stand hair stylists.
One time there was a post on a subreddit, a young apprentice stylist was asked to achieve a light brown / dark blonde / “mousey brown” colour on a client but they didn’t know how to get their hair that colour as it is generally hard to recreate with dye.
Scrolling through those comments made me sick. People proudly calling it “the ugliest hair colour”, “dishwater blonde” “dog shit blonde” etc. Saying that purposely sabotaged someone with that colour naturally because it’s “ugly”. Like, are you serious? Who the fuck are you to decide what hair colour is ugly and what’s not? The PAYING client asks for a cut / colour = you deliver. Thats your job. Unless you were asked, your opinion is unsolicited.
It’s the same crap with how you ask them for a 1 inch trim and wind up with 5 inches off, somehow. They’ll preach “well you needed those 5 inches off”. Well I need you to be arrested, to be honest.
Yeah I get that, but with locs. Everytime I get my locs retwisted I always hear them huff, puff and make those “tk, tk, tk” sound while talking to their co-worker (in a way in sounded like their not complaining but they are) saying, “Oooooooo, that’s a lot of hair”. Like come on, I already got one of them telling me my locs are too long (which is ɓasically neck length) while hearing the same person tell another client how their locs are beautiful!
So for that, I agree with you because all this complaining is making the client feel guilty and have second thoughts.
I got just slightly wavy hair, it’s rather common in my area, nothing to be specialized in really – I heard the exact same bs “doesn’t suit”, “isn’t possible to be cut”, you name it.
At times they even said okay they’ll do it and then just didn’t!?!?
In probably 20 years I had not left a single session with the haircut I asked for, so I genuinely stopped going. They acted like I was asking them to build a sculpture with my hair. All I wanted was a simple layered cut, hair being longer than shoulders.
Last time I went and asked for that, I got a short bob. Never again.