Baby showers. Bridal showers. I’m one of the last single friends in my group and I feel like all I do is shell out extraordinary amounts of money on other peoples events. They have a partner to split expenses with, why are we socially expected to fund each of their life stages? Bachelorette party, engagement gift, then bridal shower, then wedding gift and stays/travel, then they will have a baby. Baby shower, gift when you meet the baby. It never fucking ends.
Then on top of it spending every Saturday and Sunday when it’s actually nice out and you’d like to live your own life to drive an hour plus to some random area of the state because their relatives are hosting these events for them no where near where you live. So it’s not just money being blown it’s your time off.
I know everyone will respond “then just don’t go”. But I love my friends and being there for each-other is how you’re a friend. So I do feel obligated to do all of these things but man am I tired of it and I wish this didn’t have to be this way. I don’t know how all of these people feel comfortable asking so much from everyone else in their life.
End rant
Comments
I just always have my turn so it never feels one-sided but I think we are intentional about finding ways to support each others wins.
I am sorry if you do feel like it’s all you pouring and not being refilled
I feel you, I am blessed to have a big friend group and remind myself of that however lately it feels like very “gift-grab”. I eloped so we decided not to celebrate in a group setting and I’d never expect some of the things I’ve done for others. Most of my friends/ family my age all seemed to get married and have babies the last 2 years. And now it’s 2nd showers for 2nd babies, the kids birthdays, which again grateful to be invited but they all come with registries with big ticket/expensive items. It’s getting exhausting for sure and if you say no you’re a bad friend. It’s even harder when you want to celebrate your birthday or a promotion at work and no one can come cause they don’t feel it’s as important.
I feel that because I don’t intend on having a baby or getting married. Wish it was more of a social norm to celebrate other things outside of these!
I don’t really feel this way. I’ve never given an engagement gift or a bachelorette gift. I have been to a lot of bridal and baby showers but I haven’t felt bad if I couldn’t go to one, and I don’t send a gift in lieu or anything.
I don’t know, I really don’t feel like a gift is funding their life stages. It’s a celebration of their life stages. I love them, and so I want to celebrate them. My friends are precious to me. Having said that I can also afford it so it’s never felt like a financial burden. If things were tight I might feel different.
It may feel right now like it’s never ending but it’s often in waves. You’ll have some years with tons of weddings and then it will definitely thin out as you get older.
This just reminded me I never actually bought my best friend a wedding gift because I was busy with “showers”
I’ve never understood bridal showers. Why would someone need one on top of a bachelorette party and a wedding?
Then there’s the gender reveal party. I don’t know exactly when that started, but it’s too much.
At the title I thought you meant bathroom related showers and I was positively AGHAST
I would rather go to a bunch of parties empty handed and celebrate their moments but instead I just don’t have friends and these things seem like a myth from the movies.
I personally would just throw an elaborate birthday if you’re feeling a bit off balance in celebrations.
Saaaaame. Of course I want to be there for friends and family, but I do feel resentful at times, at the unbalanced aspect of it. Like, it’s just me and my single income trying to be a part of all of these.
Culturally, single people just don’t get the same opportunities so the societal expectation isn’t there to ~shower us. And yes, I do throw my own bday celebrations occasionally, with small groups of friends, but it’s not the same as others putting in shower party energy, y’know? Especially when the bigger celebrations usually come with multiple gifting opportunities!
I feel you.
I don’t mind A gift giving occasion. Wedding? Okay, that’s an expected gift giving occasion. First baby? Okay, you get a shower.
But dragging it out with engagement gifts, bridal showers, bachelorette party, wedding, baby….and then each subsequent baby. Just no.
I didn’t do any of that shit when I got married. Didn’t want it. We had everything we needed, and I hate writing thank you cards.
Edit: and let’s not forget housewarmings, and the expectation to buy whatever your kid is selling this week. I saw someone asking for people to “sponsor” their kids cheerleading uniforms….and tryouts haven’t even happened.
I hear ya. But this too shall pass.
Yes baths are so much more relaxing. I had an apartment with only a shower stall and it was awful, I— oh…
I no longer go to the shower unless it’s a VERY close friend. I send a ~$30 gift and decline the invite.
I also have been very into declining wedding invites again unless it’s a very close friend or family member.
I also love a day trip option for a multi day bachelorette I don’t want to spend the money on
There’s a sex and the city episode on this topic. But it’s your stage of life, soon everyone will be married and kids will be grown and you’ll never see anyone again at showers or otherwise. Enjoy it while you can.
I really wish culturally we would have a “moving into your first place” shower rather than a weddimg shower. I really struggled to get what I needed to be a successful adult when I first moved out. 8 years ago. I just got married and while the stuff was nice, it was just upgrading what I had. I spent a lot of money buying things for my house and asking for things for birthdays and holidays. Now is not when I need it.
My friends don’t expect everyone to bring a gift and certainly aren’t keeping track of who does. I did find that for our wedding, our friend group was extremely generous, setting a bar for us at future events. I know a lot of the single individuals are going in on gifts together or not worrying about it. It’s important to remember that while people are hosting events, a lot of our “rules” about gift giving are internal and self-imposed. I usually do something smaller for people I’m not that close too, especially if they’re having multiple events, or I’ll do a card for one event and a gift for the wedding. I tend to avoid meeting the baby events, so I just get a gift for the shower. If it’s a second kid, I’m busy that day.
I don’t mind travel, because that is an experience! One gift for the whole thing, not each mini “event”. The only thing that irks me strict dress codes that fall outside of anything I would otherwise purchase for myself, because I will literally never wear it again. But, I try to rent the dress in those instances.
Throw yourself a singles shower 😭
I guess I don’t really have friends because I haven’t been to like ANY. Baby or bridal, at least since I’ve been an adult lol
Girrrrl. As the friend from high school who “never amounted to anything” amongst a group of successful bioengineers, accountants, and executives, I feel you.
I hate getting an invitation to a shower from a friend who, together with their partner, make a combined income of four or five times as much as I do. And they want me to buy them a present.
I will go see you and celebrate your happy moments, but when the party is centered around other people buying you shit? The invitation has a link to a registry where a single dinner plate costs 60 dollars? A $250 set of burp cloths? Are you insane? Kindly go fuck yourselves, and realize who you’re sending this to.
Yes I’m 37 and I feel like I’m going on 17 years of this and I HATE them. I did get married and only had the wedding. No showers. Definitely no kids. I feel like I’ve spent thouuusssands of dollars and so much time doing things I don’t want to lol. However like you, I believe it’s part of maintaining community and keep going. Or sending gifts if I can’t make it. I do love my friends
It’s all part of the wedding-industrial complex. People really used to just pick the best dress they owned & go to City Hall with 2 friends for witnesses, maybe go out to dinner after. If you’re middle class or above, now you’re supposed to have the engagement photo shoot & announcement, the engagement party, the bridal shower, the destination bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the reception, and the morning-after brunch for out-of-towners. Then, to me, the baby stuff is an extension of all that: gender reveal party, baby shower, gifts when baby comes, then baby’s first birthday, a “sprinkle” for the next kid…& on & on & on. It’s exhausting.
No, because I don’t really have friends to invite me to those things. I’m 35 and have never been to a Bachelorette party before. No bridal showers ever. The last time I went to a wedding was in 2019. I wish I would be invited to those types of things to even have the option to not go. I don’t mind saying no to things but unfortunately, my default is not being invited in the first place. 🤷🏾♀️
Hardly have to deal with them. I’m Dutch, and even though showers have caught on a little bit, I fully trust that our collective cheapness will continue to temper their popularity. Tikkie culture has its up and downs.
I completely agree. In my own experience I have sadly found that there’s such an expectation for you spend $$$ on other people, and when it’s your turn, they don’t attend.
I have learned to keep my enthusiasm and support for my friends, but to try and limit the money I spend.
E.g I gift my presence at a party (but no physical gift), I only go to the wedding day and not the adjacent showers if they require me to spend, gifting printed photos and letters of well-wishing for keepsakes.
Then with that extra money I find ways to celebrate my own life that are special to me – themed cupcakes to celebrate a new job, entering a charity 10k to celebrate a fitness milestone, etc.
I might be one of the few that loves them. I just flew from Texas to Toronto for my best friend’s baby shower. Last month I went to another friend’s bridal shower, bachelorette party and wedding. I’m looking forward to another bridal shower later in the year. I love seeing my friends in their happy era.
I have only a handful of close friends who I would be happy to spend $$$ for each of their special life event. Sometimes it pays off to have a small friend circle. Maybe its time you pick and choose who to devote your hard earned money, time, and energy to!
The traveling gets a little tiring, but no, I enjoy these celebrations and sharing in my circle’s milestones. It does sound like your circle milks every possible celebration, though, so I sympathize. Trying to attend every little party gets very expensive very quickly (as does throwing them!), and the number of celebrations people do these days has gotten out of hand (like having a baby shower and separate gender reveal party). I’m grateful my circle hasn’t done that so far.
What is an engagement gift? Are we just adding in more gifts for no reason?
U.S. based and it used to just be:
Wedding gift (typically the bigger purchase for the couple)
Bridal shower (smaller gifts for bride only)
Baby shower (baby gifts of any cost)
Bachelorette (no gifts or maybe joke/risqué gifts, gifts are what the bridal shower is for if you have both events).
The party costs themselves are supposed to either be hosted and/or tailored to the budgets of everyone attending. They did not used to be full trips for anyone besides the wealthy. And before there was only bridal shower, not bachelorette.
Any other additions (gender reveal, engagement, etc.) are overkill and I would not feel bad for not attending nor buying gifts.
I think it’s normal for people to celebrate milestones in their life and I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to expect them not to. However, it is up to us to be honest with ourselves about what we can realistically afford and attend when it comes to these milestones. For instance one of my gf is having a destination wedding. I won’t be attending bc my husband and I are getting a house built and that’s a bigger priority. However, I will send them a gift in the mail which is much cheaper than the $4,000 it was gonna cost to go to their wedding.
Ive mentioned to some friends that you get “one wedding, one baby, one house, and one divorce” in terms of gifts. I for sure offended a friend because she got worked up about “what if my second baby is a different gender! We’ll need things!” Sorry, but if you choose to have a second kid then you should be able to afford what comes with it. I’ll go to the party to celebrate and I’m always here for support. If you do a sprinkle, I might bring a pack of diapers.
The gift grabbing has totally gotten worse because of Instagram and social media imo. People want the pretty parties to post about and people want all the things too. Idk I think society just kind of sucks with this stuff.
Couldn’t agree more. I have gone to what feels likes HUNDREDS of showers, shelling out so much money for friends who can totally afford their own stuff and have a partner to share finances with. I’m engaged now and not doing any showers, have asked for no engagement gifts or bachelorette gifts or any of that nonsense, and am not doing a bridal party. We have everything we need already, we’re in our 30s, I don’t need my friends to refresh and update my kitchen or travel supplies.
Though I guess a small part of me feels pissed that there are friends I’ve spent thousands on for their wedding (engagement gift, shower gift, bachelorette party and bachelorette gift, sometimes another lingerie shower gift, and the actual wedding gift – not to mention bridesmaids dresses, costs, etc) and now they won’t spend anything on me in return haha but you know, BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE I guess..
I think it’s just a period of time (25-40) where everyone is getting married/having babies and it just seems like a lot! Engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette trip, wedding….4 events just for 1 couple. If you’re attending more weddings in a year then it’s even more. Tbh I think the wedding industry and expectations are just out of control.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends and love celebrating them. However, I wish:
Other life events were just as celebrated (ie purchasing a home/landing a job/getting a MBA).
Both genders were involved in the bridal shower (which should just be an engagement party) and baby shower (both parents are getting a baby, right?). Both the man and woman should be celebrated in these events by all their friends regardless of gender.
I have always said “no showers and no gifts” for my life events. I don’t want my family and friends to spend money on me. I think of my single girlfriends who have shelled out thousands of dollars for this stuff over the years and shudder. It’s so unfair.
Those of us who were lucky enough to get married and have babies should throw their single friends a massive milestone birthday party.
You’re gonna have to rein it in a bit, maybe by suddenly having a lot of other commitments. Because after this there will be all the toddler and kid parties, various grads (preschool etc) and it’ll only snowball.
We singletons spend thousands of dollars on bachelorette parties, baby/wedding showers, and weddings- never getting anything in return. It’s so freaking expensive.
When the showers run out, the divorces and funerals start. I preferred the showers.
I loathe both of these events for all the reasons you describe so I very much get your sentiment
I feel the same – I’ve stopped going. And as selfish as it sounds, I’ll probably never see any of the gifts/money I have given to these people..so I’ve taken back my weekends unless it’s for those closest to me.
George costanza was right, and I completely agree
In my twenties the majority of my friends got engaged, married, a few had babies. Endless showers, stagettes, travel for weddings and then became travel for bachelorette trips.. I didn’t get married until I was older, 34. We eloped, sent announcements after the fact .. not one person who’s wedding I had attended, gave an engagement gift to, been to a baby shower for or did something in someway to celebrate their big milestone .. did anything for me. No cards in the post even. Life is give and take, but don’t give so much to everyone you’re left with nothing yourself.
> I know everyone will respond “then just don’t go”. But I love my friends and being there for each-other is how you’re a friend. So I do feel obligated to do all of these things
First of all, it’s ok to be thoughtful about how you spend your time. Do the things that make sense for you. It might feel like you aren’t being a “good enough friend” by skipping whatever events you want, but the reality is that it’s fine to not go to every single thing. I’ve started saying no more, and I haven’t noticed an impact to my friendships at all. Not going to an event once in a while should not negatively impact your friendships.
Second, it’s ok to be thoughtful about how you spend your money. Give the gifts you want to give. For everything else, a heartfelt card will likely mean as much or more to the receiver. You can also leverage acts of service here – for example, it’s just as much of a kindness to help pick up the cake for a birthday as it is to show up with a wrapped gift.
Third, be thoughtful about how you want to be celebrated. Society has a framework for celebrations related to marriage and babies, you might need to do a little more legwork for the other stuff. Moved apartments? Throw a housewarming! Got a dog? You better believe that pup’s birthday party is getting celebrated! Get a promotion or change jobs? Tell your friends you want to go out and celebrate!
I’m over it. Been over it. Just buy your own shit, stop asking everyone for the time and money. They all come off as cliche and cliquey. No thanks.
Yeah, I just don’t go anymore. Or to weddings. I use my elderly mother as an excuse. lol At my age, those things aren’t happening to people I’m all that close to anyway, which is a relief.
A friend of mine recently invited me to a concert that she and her partner are performing in, and that is more my scene.
Some events you listed gifts or big gifts at least are not expected. I love going to events and I love celebrating. If someone buys a home or gets a new job or whatever, plan something and I will be there. I think socially meeting with friends and making people feel good is amazing. It’s the gift giving that is causing issues.
Strangely, I knew what you meant and it wasn’t about how you choose to get clean.
Yeah, baby and wedding showers got old by the time I could legally drink. I never wanted kids and I have never been married.
If I go to a baby shower it is because I really like the person and we have a lot of friends in common. Also, they make it a social event and not some torturous activities filled with drivelous games.
I had this feeling for a long time – I found all those experiences grating because they’re not things I have chosen to participate in even as I have gone through some of those life events. I felt like they were forced, cringey, and fueled by antiquated societal practices/capitalism. Gross!
But, now that there are less of those things happening and they are happening to people more established in their lives I feel like they look different and feel more authentic if they are happening. I also realize it’s a chance to get to know my friend or family member in new ways by meeting their other people. Also, most of my friends have switched to sprinkles or really mild acknowledgments of babies which feels nice. And for local friends, I opt for gifts that don’t come off registries but are gifts of time/care. Cooking food, helping around the house, watching pets, etc. That makes it feel better and more communal to me, no complaints so far.
I definitely felt that when I was single which is why we had a small wedding, no gifts. No engagement party. A girls getaway instead of a bridal shower/bachelorette. No gender reveal. I didn’t go to many of these events either.
You can choose which events to go to and STILL be a good friend.
YES!!!
I’ve been downvoted for sharing this opinion before, but I’ll die on this hill. It is beyond tacky that in this day and age, people are still throwing parties (or allowing parties to be thrown for them) whose main purpose is to receive gifts. I understand why they were a thing back in the day, when people got married and had children when they were just starting out, and they really did need help setting up their homes. But now that people are waiting until their late 20s, 30s, or even later to get married and have kids, it’s time for traditional showers to die. It really fucking pisses me off when couples who have held down grown-up jobs for years, if not decades, and cohabitated for years, send out shower invites with a registry full of crap for their house. I would also like brand new linens and dishes and appliances for my house, but because you’ve decided to sign a legally binding relationship contract, you get to crowdfund all that shit? Fuck off. You get a nice card and some cash from me at the actual wedding, and that’s it. We all have bills to pay, and we should all be buying our own housewares. If a family member or friend wants to give you a nice wedding gift, that’s understandable, but that should be between the friend/family member and the couple. The big gift grabs gotta go.
And as far as baby showers go, if you’re grown enough to have a baby, you can buy your own baby stuff. Little gifts when the baby is born are fine, and of course close family members like grandparents may want to give a more substantial gift, but I’m tired of people trying to get their friends and extended relatives to go in on $1000 strollers and fancy baby monitoring systems with cameras.
Tl;dr: everyone should just buy their own shit, and celebrations of major life milestones need to be divorced from expectations of being showered with gifts.
I’m married w kids and def feel like the amount of showers/parties/gift grabbing events is too much! For my wedding, I only did a bachelorette. I had my first kid during covid so no shower and only sent my registry to those who asked. With my 2nd, I had everything I needed for the most part but did give ideas to those who asked. With both kids bday parties coming up, we tell people not to bring gifts. I try to be mindful of those who are not in the same stage of life for us. Also, I’m sorry but you don’t need to feel obligated to spend your hard earned money on someone else/their kids. I definitely agree all of this has gotten out of hand!
I love these events and I love showing up to celebrate and support my friends and family!
I will say you are allowed to decline invitations and not send gifts. I never minded when people declined and didn’t notice who didn’t send gifts.
they feel comfortable asking so much because you never say no. it really is that simple.
stop going to everything. make your own unbreakable plans.
There was a solid decade that included at least one event of some kind for a friend every single weekend. I’m finally in my late 30s and it’s over. It’s worth it to go and support them. Don’t overextend yourself, though. Real friends will understand if your gift isn’t huge and will appreciate your presence more than your presents.
I’ve literally never been to a bridal or baby shower (and am very happy about that.) Most of my friends are LGBTQI, single by choice, childfree by choice or otherwise unconventional.
“being there for each-other”
Are they there for you?
I would never expect my friends who didn’t have money to buy me anything for these events. I had multiple friends come to my baby shower with nothing and I was happy to have them. I enjoy celebrating the milestones of my friends and see it as a communal thing because it will be reciprocated.
I never mind sending a gift—I am finally doing ok and like to send something that will be helpful.
However, I am protective of my time and may or may not attend.
they’re okay. i hate baby gender reveal parties/showers
I don’t go to baby showers. Or gender reveal parties. Basically anything having to do with babies, I’m out. I’d just rather spend my weekend doing literally anything else other than pretending to be interested in anything having to do with a baby. With weddings I will go to either the shower or the bachelorette party, not both (and certainly not more).
I’ll also say on the flip side I don’t expect these things of my friends. When I got married there was no bridal shower, no bachelorette. We didn’t even have a bridal party because we wanted our friends just to have a good time. We asked for no gifts. For my birthday this year I think I’m just going to have a BBQ in the park and in lue of gifts I’m going to ask my friends to bring me their best gossip, tea, or beefs (I don’t need to know the people, I’m just here for the drama).
As you said, shit’s expensive. This is me giving you blanket permission to RSVP no. You can be there for your friends in a million other ways.
I think I’m in the opposite situation.
I haven’t been to a bachelorette party, wedding, baby shower or anything since my own in 2021. All of our friends are either done with that stuff or it’s not on the horizon for them.
I’d love to celebrate someone, have an excuse to get on an airplane or be able to buy that cute plushie/book/outfit for someone’s newborn. But it looks like that ain’t happening for me! I have one friend who got engaged a year and a half ago and for all I know, they’re privately married already or called it off. I’m afraid to ask.
I wish it were more socially acceptable to opt out of celebrating if you want to. My BFF skipped my wedding and our close friends didn’t leave us a gift because it’s not something they do for anyone. We didn’t really think of anything of it. In fact, I kind of respected them more because they went against the grain and just said it wasn’t convenient and didn’t make sense financially. Honesty is always a good policy in my book!
I learned in my 20s, after attending one baby shower and one bridal shower, that they simply weren’t for me. I never went to another one, and when I got married, I made sure there was no way for anyone to throw me a shower, by planning my wedding in three weeks and only inviting immediate family.
I have been consistent in my “no” RSVPs, so no one can get their feelings hurt. And I am always happy to celebrate with friends when I see them, plan something one-on-one (which is almost always my socializing preference), and/or provide direct support for life changes by other means. I really do believe that showing up to gift giving events isn’t the only way to maintain friendships and be supportive.
It has become looting from your family and friends. The multiple wedding showers, the baby shower and then another if it is called a ‘sprinkle’. ‘Bring a book instead of a card’ to eliminate waste. Twice I carefully chose books my kids loved only to see ten of the same on the gift table.
Waste? They have several hundred helium ballloons (helium is a non-renewable resource used in medical applications) which will become plastic waste and all the other things: individually wrapped cookies that are cute but inedible, silly favors that no one wants but cannot bring themselves to throw away.
The final straw for me was the diaper raffle (bring a pack of $30 diapers on top of the gift). Now men are being included – they help with nothing, stand in the corner drinking or watching their phones and come empty handed.
I have become Auntie-Give-A-Gift seated at a table in the back of the room with people the bride/mother didn’t want to invite but their mom insisted. From now on, I’m not attending – you get $25 in a card.
It wouldn’t be as big a deal if it wasn’t for the fact that generally speaking if single/single and childless women try to have a celebration for themselves for another kind of life achievement, it just doesn’t receive the same level of validation and participation, and it’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise.
It’s all very well to say “If you want to celebrate your PhD/promotion/big art project/new business/etc then throw the celebration yourself!” but the fact is that some people won’t give it the same weight and respect they would an engagement, wedding, baby and so forth.
Example: I have a friend who celebrated her PhD with a fancy do, and was clear to people that given she wouldn’t be getting married or having babies it would mean a lot if they celebrated this with her. She still had people RSVP no who would have never even considered not attending a wedding and wedding reception.
Girl wait until they start divorcing and getting married again, wanting an even better shower for their even better marriage!!!! FML
Just politely decline, I do!
Thought this was a hygiene post for a hot sec. 😅
I’m lucky enough to have friends that are in completely different life stages so it’s never overwhelming. Haven’t been to a wedding since 2019 and only 2 baby showers since then (same woman). Might’ve been 1 cuz of the pandemmy.
I have a wedding in June with my bf but I don’t anticipate any others nor any baby showers for a couple years maybe.
I’m also in a place in life where I just say no if I don’t want to do something. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I feel like it was a life phase/stage.
For a period of about 5 years or so, everybody in my friend group was getting married of having a baby or finishing higher ed, so there were a lot of celebrations and parties, and then…that was it.
I’m in my mid-40s and now we have funerals to go to.
Which, culturally, for me at least, you also bring something to.
So you come in with a celebration and a gift, and you go out with one, lol.
Just don’t have a lot of close friends like me and you won’t be invited to many 😂🤣
I feel you, I went through a period of feeling deeply unhappy that I felt I was subsidising other people’s big life decisions. As someone who has zero interest in getting married and is happily childfree, there’s no real equivalent or acknowledgement for anything else I might deem as a milestone. It’s calmed down now……I mean, at least for the moment I guess?
Yes. I didn’t even want a shower when I got married. I insisted on not having one. One was thrown for me anyway.
I straight up started to feel used with some “so called friends” inviting me to more of their kids bday parties, showers, and christenings than to actually hang out. I have a mental notebook of who is doing this shit and can’t wait to send them my gift registry for whatever random fucking made up occasion I decide to come up with next year.
In case you can’t tell. I have started to get sick of being thought of as some “rich aunty” (I’m an only child). If these so called friends love me as much as I love them, they don’t get bothered if I don’t go and don’t gift. Otherwise, no loss by me if some distant friend decides to get pissy about it.
I’m not even single and I still hate this stuff!
I’ve never had my own “shower” for these events because I find them kinda disrespectful to others. I don’t mind people bringing what they can afford (or nothing, if that’s their budget) but to put on a really big event and showcase everyone in front of each other…. Idk. It doesn’t feel right.
PREACH
Engagement gift? Gift when you meet the baby??
Hell nah.
Pretty sure people have asked for gifts at the gender reveal, but as a rule, I have never attended one.
If I could thumbs up this post twice I would!!!!!
Selfishness is how and why they feel comfortable doing it. Real friends wouldn’t demand this of you, and would be gracious if you decline. Food for thought OP. In 15 years that money could be big numbers if invested. Will you still have the friends? We’ll see.
I feel you! I’m in that same phase as well (for over ten years now), and not planning to get married not have kids. But I’ve been going to all sort of events related to kids and marriage. It seems that life is made for couples. Everything is cheaper that way. From splitting rent and all sort of expenses, to booking hotels and car rentals when traveling. Even roller costers or ski lifts are generally designed for twos.