I grew up in a christian home. Went to church, a christian school, etc. I won’t go into details but I stopped practicing religion after high school.
Im 32 with 2 kids now, and I constantly have this guilt that I’m not religious and I’m not teaching my kids to be. There are many times that I feel lost in life, and deep down I have this feeling its because God isn’t in my life. I think its from all those years of being taught that those who don’t follow God would be wandering aimlessly in life.
I have a hard time with the idea of going back to church because at this point, I can’t say that I even believe in God and I feel like I’ve strayed too far for too long.
If anyone has a book they can recommend me, I would love to check it out.
Comments
I was also raised in a church and lost my faith in my teens. These days, I’d call myself an optimistic nihilist. But I do sometimes feel that emptiness you’re describing. Although, I don’t think there’s any meaning to it. It’s natural for humans to need to apply meaning to our lives, especially if we were raised that way.
I am always curious to hear people’s stories about why they became a Christian again, though. With most people I’ve met, they believed again because something either really good or really bad happened that changed their perspective on life. I think you just need to find your reason.
I do not have a book recommendation that will specifically answer your question but I will recommend that you figure out if your reason for leaving is no longer a factor. As an example, if I left church because a certain denomination’s theology did not align with my world view then I would return to church but not to that denomination. If I left church because I no longer believed that Jesus is God or (in your case) do not believe in God at all, then I would not return because that is a fundamental belief no matter the denomination.
It took me a while to realise that I had a problem with a denomination and not the core Christian beliefs but I am yet to go back to church. It’s been well over a decade now. I don’t have children, but I do recall that when my parents were getting divorced one of them would drop us off at church so we could still have that church foundation and they would pick us up after. That may not be practical for you because your children have never been exposed to church but maybe if you have trusted friends who are churchgoers you can ask them to take your children.
I met an atheist in Texas who used to attend a mega church there because they found the pastor to be inspirational. He said he just could not care less about the Jesus and God part so it didn’t affect him. I would never be able to sit through a service where the theology conflicts with my values (hence my choice to not go to church) it would literally make me feel sick.
Edit:
I did buy the book “Finding God in the Waves:
How I Lost My Faith and Found It Again Through Science” By Mike McHargue when it was first published but I am yet to read it.
That guilt is just old programming, shitty childhood patterns we got taught. It’s ok not to take your kids to church. They’ll probably be better off given the Christian nationalist bullshit in this country.
I didn’t become a Christian again, but I did get pretty introspective and spiritual. I think of Jesus as a Jewish mystic. I think the biggest miracle he performed was being kind in an unkind world. I think he was far more sarcastic and smart assy than we’ve been led to believe. The thug life chose Jesus. I think he’s one of many wise people who’ve walked this Earth. Along with Buddha and a buncha other folks. But I wouldn’t call any of those beliefs Christian.
Christianity and Jesus don’t have a lot to do with each other.