i have a longstanding poor relationship with my MIL. long story but she has barely acknowledged my existence even though i have been with my husband for 6 years (just married last year). she has talked very poorly of me from the first time i met her and this has continued throughout the years. she did not attend my husband and i’s wedding (only 5 family members were invited). i am very adamant about not having her in my future child’s life because i refuse to be an incubator for her first grandchild. my husband and i dont have kids yet but planning for the next year or so.
curious if anyone else has made this decision of no contact before even having kids?
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Is your husband in agreement?
I’m sure there are plenty of people here who have made that decision. The main issue you need to sort out to determine how that will go is whether or not your husband has your back on that. If he doesn’t, this is going to turn into an epic power struggle where MIL treats you like an incubator and is still allowed to see your kids becaue your husband won’t stand up for you. Plenty of people have found themselves in this exact situation.
This is the reason you need to talk all of this out before you even think about having kids. Will he agree that you and your kids are no contact with MIL or will he take your kids to see her because she’s his mommy and he can’t say no to her, regardless of how she treats you?
Another tactic is her suddenly being warm and fuzzy and wonderful towards you and apologizing for all past wrongs, etc the minute she finds out you’re pregnant. Be prepared for that. Make sure he won’t fall for it.
That’s not a decision you can make on your own, unfortunately. I hope your husband is supportive!!