Has anyone read “reluctantly related”? (Fun read! But falls short on how to deal with my MIL)

Been browsing books to try to find help dealing with MIL.

My MIL is pushy, egoistic, entitled, likes to force her “help” on us and is butt hurt when it gets declined, and leans heavily on my husband for both emotional and administrative support.

She’s never said a bad word about me personally, but each time when I try to voice the things she did that made me uncomfortable or were out of line (related to the kids, typically) she’ll deflect, justify, dismiss, roll eyes, and refuse to own her mistakes.

Reluctantly Related has been a very nice read – funny, entertaining, applicable, and delivers as much value as you can expect for a book… since it’s not actually therapy.

Would love to ask the writer this, but since that isn’t possible, I’ll ask Reddit 🙂

My MIL is an “off the wall Wendy” and a “mothering Margaret” type.

The only area where this book disappointed a little in the end: the practical tips.

When MIL does something predictably ridiculous, you just… laugh!? Okay. My MIL has done many ridiculous things over the years, which I’ve been super uncomfortable with. But these are things that happened, and weren’t just stupid comments.

You don’t just laugh, when she takes kiddo outside after your explicit request not to. Or gives them a broken glass trinket to play with. Or subscribes them to soccer without asking. (Okay, I guess that one you could laugh at!)

Had high hopes, but this book does not give any input on what to do then.

As for the overbearing actions, here’s a small extract from the book:

After you get home from taking your child to gymnastics, you call your MIL and say, “You know, I’ve been thinking about what happened earlier, and I feel really bad that I couldn’t visit with you the way I wanted to. You just caught us at such a bad time, and I felt I had to rush you out the door. So could you do me a favor and call me first—before you come over? Then I can let you know if it’s a good time or if we’re in the middle of something. You would be doing me such a favor and that way when you do come over, I’ll have time to sit and talk with you.” (End extract)

That’s the proposed solution to a MIL who pops by without warning.

But what if you have the kind of MIL who will just do it again, and again, because in her mind it’s just fine since she doesn’t need you to talk to her… she just wants to pop by, catch a glimpse of her grandkids, and offload a bunch of stuff you don’t want and didn’t ask for.

Or what if the relationship is so strained that you really have no desire to sit and talk with her – ever!?

Again – this book gives no idea what to do then.

So all in all, it was a nice read (well written) but didn’t exactly show me ways to handle my MIL. 😞

If you have any other good books to recommend, I’m all ears!