Has taking a break in a relationship ever worked out or been a good idea?

r/

To make a long story short, my ex cheated on me a year ago but we have kids together so I can’t cut her out of my life completely. I started a relationship with someone new and we’ve fallen in love but now she wants a break because I’m still in pain from my last relationship and she doesn’t want to end up resenting me for having those feelings. No, I’m not still in love with my ex or “hung up on her”. I’m just still dealing with the pain of what she did. She wants to give me time to heal but I don’t know how long that could to take and I don’t think we have to split in order for me to heal. I understand her perspective, but taking a break feels like we’re just opening the door for more heartbreak.

Comments

  1. Tall-Performer2500 Avatar

    No it’s really just a period to find someone better while also holding onto what you had just in case you cant find anything.

  2. downwitbrown Avatar

    Doesn’t sound like your 💯 there with the new person. Break sounds fair to the other person. Obviously hard to do as if I was in your shoes id also not want a break.

  3. Jasmine_StarryBlush Avatar

    I feel you. Taking a break sounds like a way to delay the inevitable.

  4. AileStrike Avatar

    Sometimes yes, but generally no.

    The trick is if the issue that caused the break has been resolved. Mature couples will resolve their problems together. If that’s not possible and a break is required it’s generally less likely that the problem that instigated the break will be meaningfully addressed.

    Breaks are generally breakups for couples that lack the maturity to properly communicate and address their problems as a team, as partners, as a couple. 

    Edit: it also sounds like, in your situation, you entered a new relationship while carrying baggage from your last relationship. I’m not referring to the child, but the emotional attachment that’s generating your pain. Going into a new relationship without that being resolved is incredibly rude and disrespectful to your new partner, she shouldn’t have to deal with your emotional state caused by your ex.