Have you ever listened to a gut feeling & regretted it or realized you were wrong? If so, what happened?
How did you develop a stronger sense of intuition? I tend to think my trauma responses are my intuition & i’ve been wrong many times.
I have a gut feeling that wants me to break up with my boyfriend of 6 years because we are not growing intimately. Trust issues, abandonment fears, needs are not being met, my ptsd, his adhd, his fear of my emotions, his struggle with finding a stable career all play a part. Main reason why i’m staying is because we both want to start a family soon & have similar values.
Comments
My gut feeling is frequently wrong. I’ve learned to just use gut feelings as an indication I should take a closer look at something, but I try not to base decisions on them
For a long time, I couldn’t differentiate between gut feeling and trauma response, so I can relate. It took several years of being in a safe, healthy, and stable relationship to start healing.
This tactic helped me a lot: ask yourself, is the bad feeling about me (my insecurity, something in my past, etc.), or is the bad feeling about him/the relationship? And is there anything I/we can do to change it? Also, will stepping away from the relationship to work on myself be healing, or can I heal in the relationship?
Sadly my guts never lied, but men did.
My gut is usually right. What you describe seems like very valid reasons to break up tbh. Even just the trust issues alone – you can’t have a relationship without trust.
Maybe sit still and meditate and ask your heart what’s the right way for you?
I came to conclusion that there is a gut feeling and there are our fears and traumas. I can feel you as we have to differentiate between them, but anyway even my fears and traumas protected me from bad people, why? Because they didn’t have the safe space for me, and the whole thing between us wasn’t healthy. I don’t ask people to give me safety or pinky world anymore, because by time you become more aware of your self, you know what you want, your triggers and traumas so you set boundaries based on that.
It has never been wrong per se, it just isn’t always specific enough.
Like there were three times in my life I got a gut feeling that my boyfriend at the time was acting weird and hiding something from me. All 3 times this made me nervous.
The first time it turned out he was trying to surprise me that he had taken an earlier train home from a business trip and had gotten me my favorite dessert from a bakery near the train station and was waiting for me at my apartment to surprise me. The weird questions that had set off my alarm was him trying to figure out if he could beat me to my apartment.
The second time it was that he was going to propose. (Somrthing felt off the night before.)
And the third time it was that a different boyfriend, now my husband, was going to propose. (This time I asked him “did you decide to do it on X day?” and he confirmed and asked how I knew and it was the day I had started to sense he was hiding something from me.)
So all three times it was a good secret, but I could only sense that there was a secret and that made me nervous, lol. But all three times I just kept quiet and waited for actual evidence/for the secret to reveal itself and was glad I didn’t get weird and accusatory. 😅
A gut feeling just means something to start looking into – not a reason to make big, life changing decisions. Using your gut along with your head yields the best results.
I’ve never once regretted paying attention to and leaning into a gut feeling because I always learn something. The feeling is there for a reason. Good and bad.