I (f40) have been cheated on 3 times by 3 different people. First time was my bf of a few months in high-school. Unsure why. 2nd was my kids dad, we fought a lot. I understand why. Very toxic relationship from both ends. Both of these times I was cheated on by with best friends at the time as well. Third time was a 7 yr relationship with M5yrs older. It started very well but he was cheating since the start. I am obviously going to start therapy soon for everything I have been through. People always say its not your fault for them cheating but I am the common denominator. I have a good job, no recors, no addictions, no severe mental disorders, dont blatantly try to hurt others…. so honestly wth. Is this a normal thing with people? Hardly anyone i know gas been cheated on (that they know).
Has anyone else been through numerous cheaters and found its partly them? Just trying to make some sense of it all.
TL;DR been cheated on 3+ times by 3 different partners. Im common denominator. Anyone else been through multiple cheaters and found they are partly at fault?
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I’ve been cheated on a few times myself, and I know how painful and confusing it can be. What helped me was realizing it wasn’t about me being broken or not enough. it was about them making bad choices. I’ve grown a lot from those experiences and learned to trust myself more. It’s definitely not easy, but healing is possible. If you want to chat or have any questions, feel free to reach out, my DMs are open.
I don’t think you’re doing something that’s causing the cheating, but I think it’s likely that for whatever reason, you’re subconsciously picking partners who will cheat (and friends who will sleep with your partner).
So yes, therapy is likely the answer. You sound like a catch and you have your life together, but you’re picking people who aren’t on your level. Therapy can help you get to the bottom of why you’re doing that, and how to stop.