I’m a 26 year old guy and unfortunately I’ve never been in a relationship and have never kissed a girl. It’s very embarrassing for me but I’m trying to make peace with it. I’ve been very unhappy for a while now and am trying to focus on improving myself this year, which has been going well. With a few more months of consistency, I want to try and start dating. By that time however, I’ll be almost 27 with still no sexual or romantic experience.
I’m not going to lead with this detail of my life but if she asks me about it I’m going to be honest and say yeah I’ve never been in a relationship before.
I’m just very worried that I’ve been so inexperienced for so long that many if not all the women I date will see it as a red flag and a dealbreaker if they find out about it. I’m worried she’ll be thinking “Well there must be something wrong with him if he’s gone this long without ever having a girlfriend”.
This thought crosses my mind every single day. Even on very good days, I have very anxious thoughts about how none of this self-improvement even matters because the damage is already done. I’ve already gone this long and it’s going to be like this forever.
I’m worried the ship has sailed. Am I worried for nothing?
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No. You’re still young
100% the right person will not care. Keep working on yourself and you will meet that person. 27 is young.
Probably not, I know quite a few women in the same boat as well.
I was almost 30 and felt exactly the same way. I’d actually done work to come to terms with being a lifelong singley. I left my job and decided to train in a completely different sphere. First day during ice breakers I was paired up with a girl and we made each other laugh. Hung out during lunch. Been married to her now for close to 14 years.
Nothing wrong with that.. once you find a good relationship, nourish and take care of it by being fair, mature in handling situations and not be controlling. Same goes with the partner 🙂
lol no. I was an ex- partners first everything at the age of 30.
I’ve got a friend in her 40s who has never had a longterm boyfriend that I know of, she is constantly travelling and having adventures and I’m low-key betting she’ll finally meet a guy in her 50s who can keep up with her.
You have it backwards. You’ll be fine. You aren’t inexperienced how you think you are. Your relationship experience scales off of how socialized you are and how easily you can view women/men as the people they are and not just your idea of the genders.
Consider that there’s always someone worse than you, you aren’t unique and neither is your problem
Why would it? It’s not a race, my friend.
Try not to get caught up in your own head. I used to think there was no one for me and now I’m married to a wonderful woman. Things aren’t guaranteed to get better but if you work on yourself you will will it so. Start exercising, advancing your career, and taking care of your health and appearance. Once you make yourself desirable you will be desired.
Didn’t have my first girlfriend until 30. Wife 1.5 years later.
Our first time intimate was a disaster, we tried for 10 minutes straight I couldn’t even get past the gate so to speak. We laughed and I told her I loved her. It was our 4th date.
All super weird, but that’s just who I was. She loved me for it and every day I wake up without having to pretend to be anyone else, she’s just way super into me. I am incredibly lucky granted, but I waited 30 years for her. It hasn’t been all roses and sunshine. The single biggest important factor is that you like yourself. If you truly appreciate who you are then whoever you fall head over heels with will be the one.
Nah. Millennials are gen z as a whole seem to be hitting these milestones deeper into adulthood these days. You’re fine and likely a lot more common than you think.
I’m a couples counselor for 5 years and behavioral pattern recognition expert. It may be too harsh to hear, but if you didn’t have a relationship earlier in your life, I don’t think it’s salvageable. The neural network in your brain didn’t have a chance to develop and you lack crucial skills to please a woman, so you might try but I’ll be in vain. Women are really sensitive to this stuff and can feel that something is off with you. Try a hooker first to see if you match
Nah your probably stand offish don’t worry bro your not missing out on that much. Although hips hypnotize us men curves etc. it gets old real quick due yo our bottomless desires and lust. She’ll come around just don’t settle for whoever to not be alone.
Nope, 28 for me, was clueless and pretty poor.
Never too late
First thing is you need to start asking girls out for a coffee or something simple. And get used to be rejected a lot. And then do not talk about all your problems. Instead ask questions. About her. Be curious. Sharing positive things about yourselves. Only after a few dates do you start to open up about insecurities. Don’t lead with that ever.
lol I’m in the same boat as you bro, we just got to be be patient and push foward
No. The ship has not sailed – coming from a happy girlfriend of a guy who was in that very ship until 24.
It’s almost sailed, probably in 2 years, so hurry
You havent seen the movie “40 year old virgin” have you?
No I have a friend who has just got her first boyfriend at 28, you have years of life left.
But the only way you’ll merry someone is to try😊
Well, to each their own time, but I’m curious…
Have you tried dating people but is there any action on your part that you think stops you from taking the next steps? . I say this in a good way, I would like to give you some opinion with more solid information.
Chances are, they can tell from looking at you that you haven’t had a Gf. They can smell confidence or lack of, from a mile away.
Don’t make your life about women though. Pursue your interests, not women. If you become comfortable enough in your own skin, a woman will find you attractive
If it’s something you want you’ll be fine homie. You got like 50-60 years left, you’ve only been trying for like 10.
First thing, your lack of experience is completely normal and is frankly becoming even more common as young people spend more time online then in person. it’s not a red flag and there are alot of young women in the same situation.
Next, very few women are going to interrogate you about your past romantic experiences. frankly, there is a wide spread of romantic skill regardless of dating experience, you won’t raise red flags over that. good dating skills are a signal that a guy likely isn’t interested in a long term relationship anyway.
Now dating market is terrible with apps, and for someone like you, will be anxiety introducing.
I would reccomend during a lot of social activies where you can hang out with various other young people. Don’t obess about getting a date right away. Just working on building up your in person social skills and building relationships with both men and women.
Nah I had my first relationship when I was 23. Some people may reject you from not being in a relationship in the past but that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Keep doing you and have an open mind with everyone you meet.
No ur a human there’s no rules just don’t date a teenager and you’re solid
Wow, no the ship has not sailed away. Your lack of experience is a selling point for some. You may need to work on your confidence and define to yourself first what it is you actually want out of these romantic situations. Sometimes you are the barrier and not others.
If she’s worth her weight in salt, she’s thinking “I got lucky that he took a chance on me and no one else”.
Be strong young grasshopper
Nope! I was just like this, actually older and did fine in dating. No one seemed to care much. I’m engaged to be married now so I did very well indeed. Best of luck
I got my first girlfriend at 35 and we’re engaged. Superhot Vietnamese lady half my size way too pretty for me wants my kids soon. Get successful helps.
I was quite a ‘late bloomer’ myself, and I know at least for me part of it was putting the relationship on a pedestal.
Yes, it’s more than a friendship, but, not hugely. Like, would you be put off being friends with someone who didn’t have any friends? I mean you’d be interested, but it’s not in itself off putting, right? Hell, would YOU be put off by someone who hasn’t been in a relationship? So why should she?
Like it’s just not as big a deal as you think it is, and absurdly, being in a romantic relationship isn’t some huge deal either.
And actually, rereading your comment, I’d say that the only worrying bit to me is “crosses my mind every single day”. Like, this ideation is so familiar, but it’s honestly the biggest hurdle you have. You need to stop thinking of a romantic relationship as this monolithic life altering challenge; it’s just 90% “hanging out with the same friend repeatedly”.
Yes
I m more interested in the reasons. Why not? C’mon! Why have you not been in a relationship?
I hope you are working on yourself for your self and not for the thought of someone else? Not having a relationship doesn’t define who you are as a person. I also don’t think you are too old. I know it wouldn’t have mattered to me at all had I met someone like you at your age. My bro didn’t meet his wife until he was in his 30’s. He has been happily married now for a decade. Wishing you every happiness in your life and hoping that you learn to love yourself for who you are. Don’t ever change who you are for anyone unless you are a horrible person, then change away ahahahah
You are a late bloomer but do not give up. Keep focusing on yourself, and when you are feeling confident put yourself out there and try dating.
Talking to girls is a learnt skill, you need to practice. Take it slow, don’t expect every girl to be your girlfriend. Just aim to be friends and get to know people.
Don’t worry, bro. I’ve got a friend in his 40s who has never had a gf until recently. I hope he succeeds.
Nah. Not too late. I’ve found the less I look, the more I find. In time; what will be, will be.
I started caring about relationships when i was 28
As with any skill, you gotta invest time and learn and fail a bunch of times until you learn how to have a interesting and meaningfull conversation with a woman.
You fucked up a date, shrug it off, tell yourself loudly what you did wrong and try again with someone else.
Be warned, the one thing you have missed out on potentially is the painfull experience of beeing exploited, never loose focus on this one fact.
Your relationship must be good for you, and it is if you feel good, and smile when you are close to your partner.
There is a lot of woman out there that emotionally exploit men, and will walk all over you.
Just keep this in you mind, it has be to be good for you, dont forget about yourself.
I lost my virginity when I was around 30 years old and only started enjoying that part of sex a few years later. You’re not late, bro. Nothing is broken, nothing is lost. Best you can do is to just get out there and be honest about your situation. I have a strong feeling that it will be less of a “thing” to your partner than it is to you.
When on a date, focus on listening well to what she says and ask for feedback: is it okay if I give you a hug? Can I hold your hand? Most of us men are notoriously bad at consent, mind you. When engaging with women, checking in and establishing boundaries (especially physical) is a huge green flag.
I’m 36, still sailing, but accepted painful truths.
Yes‼️you worried for nothing ‼️let me tell you my story…
A long time ago, I found myself in your position. Guess what I decided to do⁉️ I started to focus on my career and when I stopped looking, someone found me very occupied very focused on my career…
Today we are 35 years married…
Those who wait for the right person are more mature then those who rush into a relationship
The ship hasn’t sailed. Some people will view it as a red flag though, but others will be fine with it
I personally only view it as a red flag if they have been desperately trying and have never had a relationship. I view having a lot of really short relationships and never having a long term one the same way. For example, I knew someone who was desperately trying to get a gf for like 8 years both on dating apps and basically asking out every female that befriended him, and never made it past a second date. To me that’s a red flag. But not dating in general isn’t
Heres a counter-question; if you met a girl tomorrow, exactly the same, 26 years old, no previous boyfriend, no experience would you think there was something wrong with her or her ship had sailed? Probably not.
Putting yourself out there you will meet so many different people and while some a-holes will judge you for it, others will be completely understanding and be even more interested in you. You’ve no experience to go on so if you do meet the person I described above, you will be sharing the experience for the first time together and a shared new experience can be more amazing than a solo one. Maybe you’ll meet someone who is very experienced and loves that you’re not and wants to be that special someone to introduce you to everything, you just never know. There is someone out there for everyone so go for it! You might not meet them the first time but keep trying and keep putting yourself out there, good luck.
Not completely. It’s gonna be a lot harder now than it was when you were younger. Once you hit your 30s though, it gets rough. Good luck finding someone then. I’m 31 now and I’ve probably got a better chance of winning the lottery.
bro really,i mean really !!! you are 26 , and still behaving like a dumb kid ,, this is what concerning you , i mean u need to stop watching that insta shit !! get a life bro , life is not about girls , sex ,, read some good books , hangout with some freinds , phir agr koi mil jaye iss safar me koi acchi , then pehna dena use varmala !!
My first relationship was when I was 26, married her when I was 28.
It was when I accepted that it’s ok to be alone, I’m comfortable being single forever, I enjoy and satisfied with my life, then the door to relationship opened
Bro, you are good. Love is not so judgemental. You are on the right path. You do not need to worry about judgement. When you tell a girl “I have never dated before because I was unhappy and lacked confidence. I worked on myself and want to have connection” with confidence, she won’t bat an eye and will probably be pretty impressed by you and if she isn’t, she’s not worth your time.
I had my first proper relationship at 29. We’re very happy together. We’ve just bought a house and living a lovely life.
Nothing wrong with you. As long as you keep trying, you’ll find someone who will respect you.
And I used to hate hearing this but looking back and seeing a bit of me in these sorts of questions, you are young. You have a lot of time to find the one. Even now, many years later, I’d have waited to now and still been very happy with the result.
You have time, just work towards it, but don’t put pressure on yourself, you will eventually find the one 🙂
Yeah life expectancy is like 115 at the maximum. You’re doomed
There isn’t a recommended age ! I’m sure you’ll find someone when the time comes. It’s never too late (:
I was a late bloomer too. I totally understand how it can feel, I thought I was irreparably broken. And it weighed on me every day. I drank myself to sleep most nights
Focus on yourself. Get happy, love your life, and she’ll show up, I promise. Easier said than done of course. A therapist and medication may be in order.
I’m writing this from my honeymoon btw, at 42 years old. I’m glad she didn’t meet me when I was young and depressed