TL;DR Minha ficante que diz querer um relacionamento sério comigo, mas ela me ignora por semanas quando tem algum problema. Ela está sumida a 1 mês
Well. It’s the title. My “date” for 7 months. She is a person who has some very positive points, but others who are very negative. For example, she is kind and seems to be very faithful, but she has poor communication and definitely doesn’t treat me as a priority.
She is a person very dedicated to her family and work. She wants a serious relationship. She says she takes me seriously, and she even suggested exclusivity from the beginning. She already calls me her girlfriend (we’re queers lol), she’s already talked about me to her homophobic family (she even confronted her father), and she’s also talked about me to her friends, and when someone hits on her, she says she already has a girlfriend. She has also talked about getting married in the future and having daughters. Everything is very beautiful so far, BUT our relationship doesn’t evolve because everything bad that happens in her life she isolates herself for days or weeks. What gets in the way of our conversations and meetings.
She had some serious problems in the last few months, she had a big fight with her mother and had to leave the house because of that, etc. She also had other problems, with a job that made her sick, etc., things like that. But every time something like this happens, she just stops talking to me for a week or so.
She found a new job, which doesn’t make her sick, but is much more tiring than the first, working almost twice as many hours. He moved away, but continues to fight with his mother (and father).
She always assured me that when she disappears like this, it’s because of these problems and that it has nothing to do with me. And she said it’s not about having someone else either because she’s demisexual and monogamous and only likes me.
I already told her that I understand her problems and that I’m not needy, that when she wants to isolate herself for a few days, that’s okay. So let me know in advance. But she doesn’t respect my time and never tells me anything, even if we have an appointment and she feels bad about something, she doesn’t even bother to let me know that she’s sad and won’t go out with me. She must think that she is special and that only she has problems in the world. And that her problems give her the right to do shit.
She has disappeared like this about 5 times in these 7 months, that is, almost once a month she does this. When she reappears, AT LEAST she’s not one of those who continues the subject as if nothing had happened, she always apologizes and explains that she was absent because of this or that, she always explains it in great detail, but even so, that’s not enough for me.
We’ve had several fights because of this, because it’s become a cycle: she disappears without warning > I get angry > I complain to her > she gets sad and apologizes, and stops doing it for a while > but then she starts doing it again. It’s extremely tiring to deal with someone who doesn’t do the least warning about things in advance.
Last month, a miracle happened. She finally did the minimum and let me know that she didn’t want to talk at that moment. She didn’t elaborate much, she just said that “her head was full of problems and that’s why she didn’t want to talk now”, I asked if something had happened and if she was ok, but………. I haven’t heard back from her, it’s been a month now 🤡 I actually think I was ghosted lol So I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time writing this post.
I haven’t sent her anything since then because she didn’t even open my last messages from 1 month ago. I see her online sometimes, so if she wanted to talk to me she would. I don’t know if one day she’ll say anything because she hasn’t excluded me yet. But she stopped seeing my stories. I have already left her twice because of this behavior, we had decided to break up and both times she excluded me immediately. But then we ended up going back. So I don’t know if she’s still going to say something.
Oh, I already asked her once why she doesn’t lean on me when she has a problem, instead of disappearing like that. But she always told me that she is an extremely closed person, that when she has a problem she doesn’t seek comfort or help, that she prefers to isolate herself until she solves everything herself. That’s when she also told me that disappearing has nothing to do with me/having someone else, and it doesn’t mean she’s lost interest or anything like that. And that she thinks it’s normal to isolate herself for many days like this, that if they did that to her, she wouldn’t take it personally.
Wow, but 1 month is awesome hahaha. And you will know when it will appear and IF it will appear.
PS: I always BEGGED her not to ghost me, she always assured me that she would never do that because she thinks people are stupid. But I really have my doubts that she will live up to her words.