So I’ll tell you my story. Myself and 2 colleagues found someone who works at the same place as us (we didn’t really know him) and he had been dead for a few days. He was staying in a hotel. We went into his room and found him on the floor at the bottom of the bed. The room was covered in beer cans and their was a huge amount of blood on the bed and on the floor. The smell was absolutely horrific and stuck to all of our clothes. Their was no foul play involved but we never actually got told what had happened. I’m thinking he may have had a serious issue internally and ended up vomiting/shitting blood. Either way, it really affected both my colleagues. One had ptsd from his time in the army and lost the plot completely a few weeks later. The other one is constantly jumpy, has trouble sleeping and says even now he has constant flashbacks.
Myself on the other hand, feel like it hasn’t done anything to me at all. For a couple of weeks I felt a bit weird about it. Like I was a bit jumpy and had a couple of flashbacks. I had one weird moment where I woke up and thought the guys body was on the floor at the side of my bed. But after a couple of weeks I was back to normal and don’t really think about it unless someone mentions it. I was offered all sorts of support and so many people asked me if I was alright. People still ask from time to time but honestly, I don’t feel as if it’s a big deal. Like, I know it’s horrible what’s happened, I’m not saying it’s not, but it hasn’t affected me in any way.
I know this is normal and everyone deals with things like this differently, I was just wondering about anyone else’s experiences of this sort of thing.
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i found the village drunk dead outside in the winter, i was doing my morning paper route and i saw him sitting against the local bar, i tried to wake him up but he was already frozen stiff so that scared me and i ran to a phonebooth to call the police, waited till they arrived and they confirmed that he was gone. I wasnt shocked but ill never forget it, R.I.P. Pierre!
Not me but my mom did. Was her dad. Fucked her up for the rest of her life and helped lead her down the path to alcoholism and an early grave.
Count yourself lucky to have been able to shake this off. Some people can and some cannot.
Interesting post.
My neighbor was a drug dealer, and would let people come in to use it when they needed to get high. Crazy because it was actually a really nice place. One time a lady and her kid came over. I went outside for a bit, on the way down I heard the kid crying. When I came back I saw him on their balcony. He kept saying something about his mom. I go up to the door and he opens it and she’s clearly dead sprawled out in the most morbid way. It was awful, I have no idea how long the kid was with her like that. I had to hang out with him outside until the emt’s scooped up her body. He tried running to her while they were wheeling her out. So I had to sit with him and play on my phone so he’d stop asking about her. I’ll never forget that
I never found one dead, but I did watch my friend drop dead of a heart right in front of me. RIP Larry ❤️
Saw I guy that stepped in front of a dump truck. He didn’t get mangled up but I tell you what, those lifeless eyes I will never forget
More of a “saw a death” thing, but I was on a commuter train in the front car when someone decided to step in front of it. Heard later it was a suicide anyway.
I still think about it sometimes. The sight and sound were pretty awful. But I don’t think it affects me from moment to moment.
Found my father dead from a massive heart attack. Always said that I am thankful that it was me who found him and not my mother.
I had a friend, and we had a ‘miscommunication’. Now this wasn’t out of the normal, so when a few days went by without hearing from them, I didn’t think much of it. So I get to a week later, and I’m like, I know he said he was sick, and might have been a bit pissed, but a week without contact…nah, that just didn’t happen. I followed up with a couple of mutual friends… nope, they hadn’t heard from him either. We all agreed to meet at his place. Long story short, we could smell his remains outside the house. One of the friends used a ladder to break in, and found him dead.
I have two red lines where I’ll call out of work immediately: dead body or getting a gun pulled on me (both have happened). Now, I’ve seen my fair share of dead bodies, but I feel like it’s important not to normalize it and to give yourself the space and opportunity to process it. Sometimes it can take a few days to really settle in, but you need to take that space for yourself. It’s not an experience to be taken lightly or brushed off.
I think it depends on you find them and how well you knew them. I found my mother-in-law and have some form of PTSD from it. Needed lots of therapy as a result. It’s not a weakness to have a reaction to something so traumatic either.
Not found but I did have to identify a body once. That wasn’t great.
I saw a homeless man get beaten to death with a rock by a gang of older kids when I was about 15. Shocked me at the time but doesn’t really affect me now decades later.
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I was in the house when my best friend committed suicide in the bathtub while I was getting her tea.
She was raped at 16 at a party we went to that evening and she just couldn’t recover. I came back upstairs to a tub full of bloody water with a blood soaked bath mat.
I had already learned first aid and checked her pulse and breathing, I ran to the phone downstairs and called 911.
After arriving and checking her, she was pronounced; but still transported to the hospital. I sat crying with her mom and dad all night.
At my age, she’s not the only deceased person I’ve seen; but that one is still fresh even after almost 40 years.
Found my mother in law. Didn’t really affect me, it was kind of expected.
> The room was covered in beer cans and their was a huge amount of blood on the bed and on the floor… we never actually got told what had happened. I’m thinking he may have had a serious issue internally and ended up vomiting/shitting blood.
My sister died from complications of her late stage alcoholism.
Towards the end, her blood no longer clotted. Any cut would bleed and bleed.
When you’re stumbling blackout drunk on the regular, you bang yourself up bad enough that the not-clotting blood turns your room into a freaking murder scene. The amount of blood everywhere was shocking.
May have been what happened here if I’m reading into the beer cans correctly.
Watch my dad use a MAID service to end his life. Sometimes I wonder if it was supposed to affect me more, but also he was not loved.
I found a lady dead in her apartment when working in pest control , that was a pretty weird day but nothing too lasting. It was weirder for me servicing a funeral home around cadavers being prepped (definitely turned all of the lights on down there)
As a ptsd sufferer from the Iraq War, it took me years to stop having nightmares and such after seeing my buddy get shot. I think my symptoms have just found other ways to manifest.
A few years ago, I was kn my morning run (5am) and as I approached the sole crossroad on the trail, O saw flashing lights. At the intersection was a firetruck with paramedics treating what appeared to be a dead body. I had seen the guy all the time walking to/from work on the trail. I never did find out if he died (no local news coverage) and I’m assuming he got hit by a car in a hit and run based on how his body was positioned. That stuck with me for a few weeks and now I run with a light and reflective gear.
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I was in Iraq for several months. Might have seen one or two
I watched an acquaintance die right in front of me, we went from having a conversation to him gurgling and choking on his own blood, tried to do CPR, had to stick around until the paramedics showed up, was pretty traumatic at the time and I’m mostly over it now, but every once in awhile I’ll hear a sound that reminds me of the noises he made, and it kind of makes me shudder.
Never did find out what the cause was, but I do recall the paramedics saying that they’d never seen so much blood in someone’s esophagus.
I used to work in a hospital with a lot of dead bodies around, finding people dead and having to transport them around etc.
I kind of detached from it in a strange way, but wheeling people into the freezer never gets “normal” for sure. You never quite lose “the smell”.
I think its likely different for different people. Im glad you were able to shake it off, maybe it’s genetic?
I saw a man dead outside my window when j was 13, my mom went to check him as she was a nurse, no vitals.
I wanted to go check but she wouldn’t let me.
After that I went to be a firefighter at 15 ( third world country) and saw so many I think I’m completely broken now.
Not in a bad way for me at least, but people around me don’t have the same relationship with death and sometimes I say stuff that surprises them a little I guess.
I’m glad you’re doing ok, I hope your colleagues find a way to move on also.
I was the foreman on a window crew working on a low income housing building. My first day in a new building and I went to get started. Everyone was given 48 hours notice. No answer but we had a master key. Opened the door and about ten feet in front of me was a large dead woman in a pool of urine. Noticed it immediately and shut the door and called the police.
That didn’t really affect me too much. A couple weeks later someone jumped over the weekend. And a couple of weeks after that someone was found dead on the sidewalk outside the building on a particularly cold morning (-20F or so).
Dozens. I’ve had years of experience working in elder care, and death is just part of the job. I remember them all, and the time I spend working with those people means a lot to me, but finding a body has never really been traumatic for me.
Found probably isn’t the word because we were called to it as a volunteer firefighters. This particular person….did not die well. I would say it has stuck with me, hard to forget something like that, but no real effects beyond losing faith in humanity as people drove by taking videos, presumably to post online. We made a wall first of men to prevent anything being seen while another guy went to grab a tarp we could hide everything with. I’ve often wondered if that’s how the family found out, some asshole’s post on Facebook live. I hope not.
Kind of, my brother had cancer and I stayed with him through hospice. I woke up to hearing his last gutteral breaths. I awoke and his body was dead. It’s amazing how cold to the touch a body gets once the life leaves us.
Has it impacted me? In countless ways for countless reasons. This was a long time ago though, 14 years or so.
When I was in the navy we were tasked with helping the coast guard retrieve bodies for numerous things. One of which were people that drowned from storms or just not knowing the full strength of the ocean.. anyways, those were the worst for me. We would not only get them from the water, sometimes skin sliding off, but once back to base we would have to let them just kinda sit because they were so bloated.. in the sun.. for awhile. The smell and gore of it kinda still stays with me in regard to if I catch a whiff of something, I immediately will go back to that.
I found a couple when I was a volunteer fireman. Didn’t really bother me too much, other than the first time it weirded me out for a few days.
The short answer is no. However a friend of mine and me used to hunt rabbits a LOT. We had this one little patch of woods, maybe close to two acres, near a blacktop road that was easy to get to and always had a few rabbits. We had hunted this spot one weekend and the next weekend we drove by and there was a coroner, like 3 sheriffs cars and probably 3 state trooper cars and the whole area was taped off with yellow tape. They found the body of a missing person in that little patch of woods and they claim the body had been there for over a year. I have walked all over those woods probably 10 times, so had my buddy, and we never saw anything.
My best friend went missing after a bad breakup on homecoming night.
I was 16.
His dad came to my house, frantic, and I helped him look.
I walked past his body over a dozen times.
His dad found him, I wish it was me.
This whole scenario profoundly affected me because I had enabled him to do it.
The day before he did it, he asked me.
“whats the best way to die?”
I’m a real intellectual, and hypothetical thinker and my dumb ass explained in great detail what the best way is.
He did it in that exact way.
To be fair, though, there were more people in the car who chimed in and nobody picked it up.
I know it’s not my fault, but it will always haunt me, that I could have said something like…
“No, that’s a flawed way of thinking. I forbid you to talk about it, and I forbid you to do it. You are valuable to me, and you should be alive forever.”
Military vet here (GWOT era). I served in a law enforcement career field, however, did not do any real “law enforcement” type police work until I was rounding out my time in service and the squadron on base needed people.
Normal shift, normal shit. Nothing too crazy. Around 3pm I get called to hit the landline. Make a call and get asked to go back to squadron. Get there and am informed guy was on terminal leave (getting out of the military) and hadn’t checked out with anyone yet. He had a house on base and his family had left a few days before he was scheduled to leave. We were asked to go check the house. Get to the house and all seems normal. Nothing on the outside stands out, no signs of anything wrong. Door is locked and house appears empty so we request a locksmith and they come pop the lock.
I knew the moment I opened the door the guy was dead. He had unfortunately ended his own life in the garage and I was the one that found him. Quite literally a game of follow the smell and it led to the garage door that was cracked open with the lights off. It did affect me for a little bit of time, but it wasn’t because I found the body. It was more of a “man you made it…what the fuck”. I struggled with the fact we had to call the family back and everything. It was a fucking nightmare.
However, I will say, that I do have moments of “flashbacks” or whatever you want to call it. My home gym is in my own garage at home and I am an early morning kinda guy. When I hit the garage door at 5AM and it’s pitch black…I’ll see him.
Thankfully over a decade of therapy has helped with that and many other traumas.
as a paramedic, this is simply part of my job. so no, in general it doesn’t really affect me. that said, not only does everyone react differently to seeing death, the specific details matter a lot. we see people all the time in our own field who deal with death all the time with no problem, but then one day something about the scene hits just too close to home, the dead person may have a passing resemblance to a loved one, or even just have similar clothing. or the cause of death may trigger a memory, or challenge some strongly held belief.
additionally, some people feel the impact immediately, whereas some people find the reaction much delayed.
And one of the biggest things that many people aren’t good at, is realizing that these things happen, and the fact that you witnessed it does not mean that you caused it in any part. It would have happened whether you were there or not.
stress reactions are a normal way of our body reacting to an abnormal situation. there is no way of knowing ahead of time how you will react, or how something will affect you.
From your description, it sounds like you had a rough couple of weeks after the event, but are basically okay now. That’s fine, but if you do find that it keeps coming back to you, then I strongly recommend finding someone you can talk to about it, that person doesn’t have to be a therapist or counselor, though those are certainly options, but it can help a lot just to be able to talk. that really is the best medicine. And having gone through it yourself, and if you feel comfortable doing so, it may be a big help to those others who are struggling, if you offer to take them for a coffee and have a chat.
My friends and I were driving into Kings Canyon & Sequoia National Park late one night.
We went around a turn and there was a ton of sticks/rocks/debris on the road. We slowed down and noticed a pickup truck to our left that was crashed, with lights on and doors open.
We found 2 injured people who had been in the bed of the truck. The driver and passenger walked to get help. One of my friends took the car to get help and ended up picking up the (impaired) driver/passenger on the way.
Of the two injured, one had a serious head injury but she was conscious. The male had a serious spine injury. My buddy was well trained in wilderness first aid and took charge of providing care.
Given how remote we were, the first ranger didn’t arrive on the scene for probably 5 hours. When he pulled up, his headlights illuminated a spot on the ground where there was another very dead passenger who had been 10 feet away from us the whole time. The park’s ambulance had a dead battery and it didn’t arrive until several hours later.
That shit impacted me harder than I expected. It was clear that there was nothing we could have done, and I still don’t know the outcome of the 2 patients that we helped to support. But these were good people having some fun who made one dumb decision to hop in the trunk of a pickup where the driver had been drinking. All of their lives changed forever that day. I imagine the woman with the head trauma will never be the same. The deceased male had a family. Life is short.
“found”, no, seen, yes. Both on the highway uncovered because it just happened. Didn’t affect me much. If I found one in a place more remote or shocking I would imagine it would affect me more.
I worked in an assisted living facility. I saw a lady take her last breaths. She was begging for water (which I could not give her) and talking to her father (who I assumed has passed since she was in her 90’s).
I was a combat medic in the Army before I became a paramedic, and I’ve seen lots of bodies. It kinda comes with the territory. Most of the bodies I’ve seen are not people I know, and I’m prepared for it. There were a few that stick out because they were particularly gory, but usually, it’s not a big deal. Little kids are always sad, but thankfully, they are rare. I have a much harder time seeing people I know dead, especially if we were close. It’s much harder to have a clinical detachment when you know their kids names, their favorite food or what their childhood pet was. That type of information changes them from just a pile of flesh into a person.
When I was 18 (18 years ago) my little brother and his friend who were 11 at the time were playing together at the friend’s house. They decided to walk to our house to have dinner. The spot they crossed the road was right past a hill and an ambulance topped the hill hitting my brother’s friend. It didn’t kill him immediately, but I knew as soon as I saw him in the ditch that he wasn’t going to make it.
It did affect me for a few months after but I think it was really just the tragedy of an 11 year old losing their life that got me. My brother still cries about it (understandably) to this day.
I spent a total of 5 years in Iraq throughout multiple deployments. If you left the wire, it was pretty much impossible not to see dead bodies. It wasn’t very shocking. I grew up in an area where there was a lot of gang violence.
Not found anyone random no, but I had to perform CPR on my FIL and he didn’t make it. It was quite intense, time felt like it was doing a trick on me. He had problems breathing at night, so he had a machine help him and I remember how the 112 responder asked if he was breathing and just could not understand that yes he was “breathing” but no he has no pulse and no reactions to any kind of stimuli.
Sometimes I still think about it, about how many valuable seconds I lost by following instructions rather than just starting chest compressions as soon as I confirmed that he had no pulse. That’s like at least 15 seconds. Probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but I can’t help to think about it.
I didn’t know at the time but I was sitting on a box with a dead body inside. Luckily I was with a friend at the time. The kid said the smell was old dirty clothes to us. Turns out a kid in our neighborhood had gone missing, that kid was in the box. I didn’t really process it until I was much older but it could have been any one of us. here’s a link to the story
My brother is a fisherman in the Boston area, and he pulled up a body with all the lobster traps. He said the guy was wearing a blue flannel and had chains wrapped around him.
His boss dropped the trool and sailed away.
His boss went home and told his wife, she made him call the police, and I guess the FBI got involved.
I worked in a retirement home, not really surprising
Most weeks! Though in fairness it is sort of my job.
Been in various emergency services for many years. The first corpse did follow me home for a little while – they’d been in the bath for a couple of days, and the image kept recurring to me during showers. The water had turned milky white. I’d look down at my feet standing in the tub and think… oh dear, and see that white bathwater up to my shins. But it soon passed.
The thing about death is it’s no different to any other experience. You get used to it with repetition. Now the dead don’t bother me at all, and much as it’s a cliche, I’ll be blithely thinking about where to grab lunch whilst filling out the confirmation of death form.
Yes, when I was doing survey work, my work would take me into some of the shittiest rundown places in the city as that’s where the really old water/sewer mains are located. My company makes 60% of our profit on water/sewer replacement projects for city, I’m use to going out to these areas for work, most of the time alone, people generally leave you alone but there are times when the situation can get a little tense.
One of our projects about 8 years ago was in one of these rundown areas of town, I was trying to find a sewer manhole down a back alley to map out the system and came across a man hunched against a wall about 100ft away from where I was. It was already over 100*f out and I didn’t want to turn around walk a block out and around. So did what I normally would do in this situation, I spoke up, let him know that I was there and I needed to get by him, wasn’t there to disturb his rest but didn’t want to startle him… Before it’s asked, yes I do conceal carry in these areas and I do have oc spray mounted to the survey rod for quick access (mainly for dogs) just incase… Anyway, after my first introduction, he didn’t move, got a little closer and did the same thing with no response. Got with in 30-40ft and the smell took my breath away. I will never forget that scene, seeing the flies going in and out of his nose and mouth or the peutrecent smell coming from him. Backed away quickly, called the police and threw up.
I took a week off after that, it was a mandatory “take some company paid time off” from my boss. I wouldn’t say I have ptsd after that, but any time I saw someone sitting against a wall like that after that day, I skipped the area and came back a different day to finish it. It was also a giant red flag for my boss who started having another person out there with me as well just incase.
When I was 10, a few of us went to a park with baseball diamonds. Under one of the benches, we found one of the local bums dead. Some kids started throwing rocks at his body. I ran to the park ranger to reoort the body and then ran home.
This is the 1st time I’ve thought of this in many years. I didn’t have any trauma over it, I let my parents know and never really thought about it again
I watch the man die in front of me.
This man clearly had strokes before and I believe he had another one right in front of me. 1 minute he was standing there talking to me and within 30 seconds he was lifeless on the ground. We tried to resuscitate them while we waited on the ambulance to arrive and they stayed there for an hour trying to resuscitate him before he was finally pronounced dead.
I envy him, death is not often quick and painless as far as I understand. I hope with my time comes this is quick and as smooth as his.
I was parked behind about a half a block away when EST GEEs manager got killed. I was the last to see him take his last breath, I don’t think I’ll ever get over seeing that.
Drove by a homeless person who had been hit by a car while trying to cross the freeway. It was fresh because the blood was still red.
Spent the last days with my father watching him die. He was an amazing father and man. I will never get over it. Then, sat with MIL while she was dying. It was horrendous. I still have my mom, but I don’t think I will make it through another one.
I spent a long time living in SE Asia a long time ago.
There are like a billion people on motorcycles and far fewer wore helmets back in the day.
I would see a dead person in the middle of the road from a traffic accident like 1-2 times per year. Seemed to mostly be in Vietnam.
Not me but my dad. Went to work early. He went to work, doing paperwork in his office and sees someone laying in the grass outside face down. He grabs security and they run outside. Man has no pulse. Turns out they were having roofing work done and the roofer fell. Dad was way messed up for a couple weeks. Not like yelling or angry but just, off. I was in high school and just so sad for the whole situation.
Former N. Idaho deputy. Winter is hard on old people.
So sorry y’all experienced that. Brings up a lot of emotions & there’s just something unexplainably primal about the sense of “wrongness” or “danger” you feel in those kinds of situations.
I’ve been in a pair of car crashes, have had to put my first aid training to use a few times to save lives, & a few other super high stress situations… but the amount of adrenaline/all alarms blaring in your subconscious in intense situations like those doesn’t even begin to compare to unexpectedly running across the body of someone you knew who died & has been dead long enough to begin showing signs of it.
Won’t go into all the details of my experience. But found my neighbor dead in his apartment after nobody heard from him for a week & the smell started to escape into our shared hallway. Office was closed for the weekend, wouldn’t be back until Monday. Police said they wouldn’t come, unless I could confirm there was a person inside (apparently, most of these calls are animals dying).
Used the spare key I had & his dog immediately rushed out… So it wasn’t the dog. Happened about 6 years ago & I still think about it a lot. Thankfully no major “issues” surrounding it like flashbacks, but it definitely cemented the fact there’s no way in hell I could ever be a first responder.
Been with at death? Yes.
“Found”? No.
a dying person, and yes
Found my older sister when I was 18. Brain aneurysm. She was only 25. I ran to the phone, but it wasn’t working, so I ran outside and snatched my best friend’s cell phone from his car before he could leave for school. I told him to go inside and get rid of all of her paraphernalia, then waited for the EMTs and cops.
My sister was everything to me. She helped me cope with losing our father to cancer a few years prior, stopped me from becoming a violent monster, and got me back on the right track. I’d be dead or in jail if not for her. Not a day goes by where I dont remember her and all that she did for me, and I live my life trying to do right by her and my father
I lived in an apartment blocks with storage units in its basement. One day I went to take my bike and as I walked down the hallway, one storage unit door was ajar, it’s contents (bike, some other bulky things) were lifted out. I peeked in as i walked past and found one of my neighbors had hung himself. His face was blue and eyes slightly open almost looking me in the eye.
Since it was the last thing I expected to see and my guard was totally down, it shocked me to my core and it took me a few weeks at least to get back to normal.
I can still smell the slightly sour/ metallic aftershave smell.
Btw, I posted on reddit about it, as I wanted to share and get it out of my system, and people strongly advised to play tetris a lot as kind of a preventative therapy against ptsd and I felt it was helpful, as it tangibly made me less and less agitated.
When I was a city police officer, saw so many deceased bodies. Some peaceful, some tragic, some absolutely horrible.
It just gets easier the more you are exposed. I can tell you I can’t remember most of them, but I can recall my first and the children.
I went to my mother’s room to check on her and she was dead. I was sorry that she had died and kissed her goodbye. She was just a couple of days shy of 92 and had lived a good life.
Found a guy dead in the shower when I was working maintenance at an apartment complex. Luckily he died in the shower and had fallen so the curtain was diverting water onto the bathroom floor. So it ended up dripping into the apartment below. He was kind of a shut in, I’d nr actually seen him, and I’d worked there a yr. Who knows how gross it could’ve gotten if not for the water. He was all blue, had been dead probably since the evening before. I don’t think it affected me much. I felt bad for him, but happy we found him quickly. Seemed to be a heavy drinker lots of empty wine bottles around the place. His family was all several states away, and didn’t want his stuff. I actually ended up keeping a small lamp from the apartment, needed one. Called it the death lamp. Had it many yrs.
Road traffic accident in the late 80s. Was out in the country lanes on a long training ride (I raced bikes) and happened to ride past a car sized hole in a big hedge. I took a Quick Look through the hole and there was a car that had crashed into a tree. Inside was a women that hadn’t been wearing a seat belt that had taken a trip via the top half of the steering wheel into the windshield, such that hairs were sticking out the outside of the windshield.
She was still warm but no signs of life.
Needless to say there were no cellphones back then, so I continued riding up the road to a nearby farm and asked them to send an ambulance to collect her body. An ambulance and fire crew showed up within 20 minutes and confirmed she had died.
Three times.
First was at age 11 a guy got shot the night before and was laying between our home and the next. Apparently this is where he fell and bled out. I was on my way to school. Went back in and told my my she called 911 and sent me to school. The police came to the school with my mom to talk to me. Not much to tell them I want out side saw the blood and him laying there and told my mom. It affected me for a little while kept thinking about if we had seen him earlier and such.
Second time was in the Marines one of our Marines committed suicide by hanging himself. This one messed a lot of us up not only because of his death but the investigation they kept asking us questions for what seemed like months and it began to really piss a lot of us off. I was not the first person to find him but heard the Marine next door scream and came over.
Last was my father a little over a year ago. We all went on a family cruise. He was in bad health but insisted on going. We all had dinner the first night then went to get him for breakfast and he was dead in his bathroom. We still had six days left we got to spend a little time with him before they moved him to the ship morgue. It’s a lot of paperwork when someone dies at sea between the first country and when arriving back to US with customs ans port authorities. The cruise line was very accommodating. That one was bittersweet because although I don’t want to go on a cruise again for awhile I know he got to be with all of us together again.
My friend had a heart attack while playing a pick-up football game with all of us. We did CPR and it took the ambulance over 15 minutes to arrive and he literally died in my arms. Like 100% dead, no vitals when the ambulance finally arrived. Luckily, they were able to rescuitate him and he was in a coma for 4 days. He was basically 50/50 to make it.
During those four days I didn’t sleep at all and was haunted by feeling of the death. I don’t really know what I believe in regarding death, but all I know is that I felt his soul or something leave his body at one moment. Something about holding that lifeless piece of flesh that was previously my friend was a very strange feeling.
Luckily, he eventually pulled through and is now doing well enough. I really think I would be messed up for life if he hadn’t.
Following that, last year my GF and I found a dead person that had OD’d on the sidewalk. To be honest, after the previous ordeal it didn’t affect me at all.
I still have this really deep fear of seeing another dead body. Like so much so that it keeps me up at night. I didn’t find a random person on the street or anything, I unfortunately found my own father dead in his office 6 months ago. No foul play involved, not a suicide, no smell or anything like that since it was only 4 hours after he passed that my partner and I discovered him. But still, just the overall panic of seeing someone lifeless like that is not something I want to experience ever again. My dads eyes were still open, he was cold and blue/splotchy. I couldn’t make sense of what I was seeing while it was happening, that whole day apart from those few minutes, I’m not able to remember much.
My doctor said I have PTSD and I don’t disagree, I send myself into debilitating panic attacks mostly at night because I’m afraid of falling asleep and waking up to either my partner or my son being dead in the morning.
Woke up to my wife dead in bed next to me. She had EDS and had some sort of rupture. Blood was dripping out of her mouth.
This happened right before COVID. I spent most of the pandemic binge drinking. I couldn’t get the image out of my head.
Took a long time and a lot of help before I really started to heal.
When I worked in hotels we had housekeepers find suicide incidents. For me I went to check if a room had vacated and found an elderly dead man that died in his sleep. He had been dead for a few hours. Othera at work had a jumper from the balcony that landed outside the staff window, had to hire a special company to remove human matter embedded in patio stones. The witnessing staff member was given 2 week paid time off but never returned to work. Seen quite a few OD’s around the city with first responders standing over them. I don’t know, I’m not affected too much by all this.
For me it’s saying goodbye the last time before you knew it was the last time. A lady was battling cancer at 38 last year was having a hard time. I skateboarded past her and stopped to chat about skateboarding and how she misses it. She died 3 days later. I was always nice to her but there’s always a part wishing I could’ve done more in that moment I had.
Nurse and in the military for over 20 years, yeah, I’ve seen a few. The old people don’t bother me. It’s the young people who had lives to live. Some of them died very horrifically (in Iraq). Those are the ones that have given me PTSD.
I found my father dead in his apartment. He had a heart attack and he died near his landline phone possibly trying to call someone. He was positioned on his knees with his head in his lap. When I walked in I called for him, no response. I touched his body and it was cold and stiff. Somehow it never really affected me. It was years before I cried about it. I found him at a time where I was severely depressed and jaded.
My friend’s dad (who used to take us on trips) hung himself and his daughter found him. I feel bad about that too like why did he do it?
I’m a nurse. I’ve found several dead bodies.
I always find death to be overwhelmingly sad. Most of these people were elderly and alone. You get to know them then they’re gone. Dead body’s freak me out too. I’m not religious or spiritual really, but dead bodies feel weird. You can tell there’s something missing, you can literally feel the life drain out of someone as they die. I don’t know how else to explain it.
There’s a river I enjoy hiking along and a few years ago I could smell something dead at one spot. I assumed it was a coyote or a deer,but I didn’t see anything.I read later in the paper there had been a suicide in that general area. A few years later I came across a homemade memorial across the river from where I’d encountered the smell and put it together
Came home from work to find my fiancée had taken her own life. Seven years later it still affects me.
I’d pass a homeless guy on the street twice a day to and from work. Used to give him food, old clothes, sometimes the odd bit of spare cash.
One evening, I walked past, genuinely didn’t have anything on me, but we wished each other a good night.
The next morning, I walked past and there were police with a white tent around his spot. They told me to keep clear but spoke to one of the officers at a further distance.
He got stabbed that night because a young lad tried to steal his money – all 32p (70¢ roughly).
Didn’t see the body, but it put me in shock still. I was sad at work but held it in, and I just broke down crying when I got home.
My sister and I were sent over to our elderly neighbour’s house with a hot meal as his wife had passed about a month prior and mum was worried about him. We knocked on the door and then opened it (it was the 70’s in small town Ontario, no one locked their doors). We called out, no answer, I went one way, my sister went the other. The cat was sleeping in the bedroom and there was a budgie in a cage in the kitchen. I remember her screaming. He was sitting in his lazy boy, like he was watching TV or napping, the one side of him the lowest side of him had turned dark purple/black where his blood had settled. I grabbed my sister and we ran to get my dad. He went in to check, yes he was dead. My sitter was in shock, I couldn’t get the picture of him looking so peaceful out of my mind. I had never seen a dead body and I’m not sure what 10 year old me expected. Anyway, dad called the cops, and then a white van marked Coroner showed up and they took Mr McMonoughcle away. His was the first funeral I ever went to. We adopted the cat and bird. Mum always said he died of a broken heart 💔
Cop here. Have seen many dead bodies in all sorts of states. Your guess is correct you see it often with alcoholics. Either puke or shit blood and then die. That being said the only way it has changed me is I have no desire to see my loved ones in a deceased state. They are no longer that person once dead, truly a shell.
Found my mom’s. Certainly affected me for years.
Any RN has discovered dozens and dozens of dead bodies
Ken, on a Saturday not only did I find a dead body (my mom), I also found a cat and 5 birds with their heads off. A relative that lived with her had a psychotic episode and killed them all. I came over because she didn’t show up where she said she would be that day, and none of her phones were being answered.
Idk how it affected me. I didn’t have time to ponder that. I had to jump up and hit the road setting stuff up so my dad’s care at his nursing home wouldn’t end.
My mom was diagnosed with cancer in February of my senior year of college and I watched her die in June about 2 weeks after I graduated. She went into the hospital for the first round of chemo that unfortunately caused a stroke leaving her paralyzed and unable to speak. Insult to injury.
I drove my younger brother and myself to visit her. She was conscious and alert but couldn’t really talk because of the stroke. So, we talked to her and let her know how we were doing, what we were up to, how things were going and suddenly she had a hard time breathing; couldn’t catch her breath. We didn’t know what was going on. It was a blur and flurry of activity. We really weren’t aware of what was going on. A priest showed up and gave her last rites. I went to one side and held her hand telling her it was OK to go, she was a great mom and we loved her very much. My little brother was on her other side holding her hand. And then she died. Her eyes were partially open and I closed her lids.
It messed me up for a while. I buried my feelings as best as I could and did all the expected self-destructive BS for about a year. But over time my anger and resentment passed. I was, and am, glad I was there. She was there when I came into the world and I was there when she left. She didn’t die alone. She was there with her two sons.
That was in 1989. I’ve lived 8 years longer than her. And I look at each of those years as bonus years. Still, I miss her like hell. I wish she could have met my wife and our kids and experienced being a grandparent. I wish my kids could have met her; she was an amazing person full of love, curiosity and joy.
This really doesn’t answer the question. Sorry. And what is weird is that this is the first time I’ve ever written any of this down. It felt pretty good for someone who generally internalizes everything. OK. I’ll shut up now.
Kuwait after Desert Storm. Don’t recommend it to anyone, smell lingers for decades, especially if they are burnt.
I’ve worked in animal sciences and in healthcare for nearly 40 years now, I’ve had plenty of exposure to death in the context of work.
what gets you is being surprised by death. I found a guy in a port a potty, had died while using the loo poor guy. 911 wanted me to do CPR but i couldn’t move him, and he was stiff, gone for a while. I felt so bad for him, no one wants to die in an undignified way. i covered him with my coat and ensured he stayed covered while the EMTs transferred him, all I could do.
I wish i had asked his name when the paramedics got his wallet.
I’ve seen 3. But only one did i find. It was my elderly neighbor. But it didn’t really affect me that much other than knowing his family hasn’t talked to him in years. And that he died alone. And it can happen to any of us.
Me and 2 friends were out exploring and decided to go inside these massive drainage tunnels that went underneath the local high school. High flood area from the local mountains, these tunnels are about 8ft around and there are 2 of them. This was back when kids explored outside and there weren’t grates over the entrance or lots of safety precautions.
Anyways, it was pitch black but we had flashlights and we started to smell something terrible. We figured it was a mountain lion kill or something, but decided to keep going. Well we stumbled across some poor dude and notes scattered all over the ground. We ran out and called the local police. Apparently he was in there for several days and had offed himself by overdose.
I haven’t thought about that day until this post. It didn’t affect me. Wasn’t my life. Never thought of offing myself. I think it just made me realize life is precious and you shouldn’t prematurely end it no matter how tough the situation may seem.
Not “found” but I walked and assisted the coroners remove my dead father from his bed, onto the trolley and into their car to take him away. It still sits with my seeing him in the vinyl bag be zipped up
I gave my sister a kiss on her forehead as she lay dead in the hospital bed, succumbed to cancer.
I said goodbye to my brother – in law – my sister mentioned above, as the coroner took him away. They died 5 months of each other
I said goodbye to my father in law – who died of a massive heart attack instantly, falling face first and breaking his nose on the fall. He laid there on the hospital bed with blood all over his face
I’ve seen my fair share of death
In some ways , we think the world stops when these things happen! Truth is the world just kind of swallows them up, gone forever, a small funeral to celebrate and you keep moving forward
I’ve never found one but someone in a building I lived in did themselves in and we noticed the smell before the manager investigated. Ya, its a terrible smell. I came home that day with the medical examiners truck outside my building, which I knew meant only one thing. I’ve seen another body in a body bag carried out of a house by the medical examiner staff while what looked like the landlord stood by. I also had a neighbor shot by the police and was going to clean up the blood so the family wouldn’t have to see it in the hallway but the owner got a crime scene cleaner to come. That one effected me and I couldn’t go to that floor (where the laundry was) for the rest of the time I lived there and used coin operated laundry businesses. The other two were sobering but I don’t feel effected me as much. I have not come upon a body where I was the one discovering it.
I had just moved to Denver and saw two guys who overdosed dead at the station. They were just dragged out of the train and left there like the cops and EMTs wanted nothing to do with them.
I just made me think about how much this world can suck and what we’ll do for escapism or to feel good.
Never found a dead body, but when I was 9, and staying at my grandparents’ over summer, my grandfather died from a heart attack in the evening. By the time the ambulance arrived he was dead, they lived very remote. Thing is, it was a proper old farmer’s house, two largeish rooms separated by a wall. So I heard everything, my aunt stayed with me in the other room while everything was unfolding in the main room.
After about 40 minutes of trying the emergency crew left. The body stayed behind, because apparently that’s a thing poor remote people did, they kept the body in the house until the funeral. So the next 3 days I lived in that house, with a corpse in the main room, and everyone sleeping in the other room. I walked past it multiple times every day, ofc on day one morning I was explained the situation and taken to say my goodbyes. But honestly, by day 3 I wasn’t bothered by it anymore, you become apathetic very quickly. It’s when I think back on it, it was very traumatizing, I had many nightmares about my grandfather, even well into my adult years.
I spent every day up until the funeral doing everything to be out of the house, I’d only get back inside to sleep, I spent all day outdoors. I ate and washed myself outdoors too, they didn’t have a bathroom, so bathing was done in a huge plastic tub in what they called “the summer kitchen”, which was basically a shed with a stone oven, toilet was an outhouse across the road.
Watching the body bloat was harsh, also I overheard some harsh conversations, e.g. they short notice got a coffin, but it was a bit small, and they were worried they’d have to break the legs to fit the body in. The bloating also made it hard to close the casket.
No one there was particularly emotionally mature or pedagogically aware enough to handle this situation, but they did their best. As Catholics it was all explained with typical Christian reasoning around life and death and afterlife.
A few.
As a motorcyclist in Southwest Florida, who also works overnights, I have been first on the scene for more accidents and collisions than I’d like.
I remember I riding on my night off on my way home maybe like 3 miles from my house in a pretty residential area on a feeder road. The speed limit was like 45. This SUV roars by the other way and I’m thinking to myself that he’s really cooking. Then over the sound of my bike, through my helmet and through my earplugs, I actually hear a crunch.
I stopped, spun around and I see the SUV on its side in the ditch on my side of the road with a silver sedan sticking a bit out of an intersection closer to me.
Now there’s a street light on this intersection so I can see, and there’s smoke coming up from the SUV. So I sprint over and climb up the underside of the SUV to see if there’s anyone still in there that I can help. The driver is trying to get out, but he’s clearly not with it. The SUV is definitely rolled at least one full revolution because the roof is crumbled in a bit and the door is jammed. The window was mostly shattered, and I was able to pry the glass out and then help him climb out of the SUV and down the undercarriage. I don’t know how bad he’s hurt but he’s got a cut on his scalp (he was either bald or had a shaved head) and the blood is just sheeting down his face. I pulled off my gloves and shrugged off my jacket and gave him my button down to put pressure on the wound on his scalp. Left him sitting on the side of the road like that while I dialed 911 and moved over to the sedan.
I didn’t realize how bad the car had been hit until I got closer to it because the driver side was on the far side of the street light.
The driver side had been punched in a solid 14 inches from true. It was obvious that the SUV had hit that car at full speed broadside. I can see the driver kind of laying down across the council under the passenger seat and I know there’s no way I’m getting that driver side door open so I move around and I open the passenger side door. And the driver is just a kid. Hispanic kid good looking, but he wasn’t shaving yet and his face was so pale. It took about 15 seconds for me to realize there was no way I was getting him out of that car not with the way the driver side was punched in and his legs were trapped between the seat, the steering wheel and the console. I tried to talk to him try to get his name, but while his eyes are open, and he’s breathing, he’s not responsive.
Meanwhile, I’ve got 911 yakking in my ear, and I set the phone down on top of the hood and put it on speaker and just keep talking to the kid. Try to get him to keep his eyes open. Tell him help is on the way.
According to the 911 call about two minutes after I started talking to the kid I realized he had stopped breathing.
There was no way for me to do any sort of chest compressions, and I honestly wouldn’t have anyway because I was pretty sure that he had significant trauma to his chest. He was wearing a tight T-shirt and he was a skinny kid, and I could just see that part of his rib cage was collapsed.
The ambulance got there seven minutes after I made the call, and the EMTs took over.
They focused on the kid and the driver of the SUV, but while the cops were taking my statement. They called the EMTs over to me to have them check and see if I was hurt.
The cop noticed blood on the calf and top of my boot.
Turns out that kid was actually bleeding out and because of the street light and the way I was kneeling I couldn’t see the blood as it dripped down and pooled, and because I was wearing my motorcycle boots (full on race boots) I couldn’t feel it either.
I don’t know why, but it was my bloody boots that fucked me up. Wasn’t the first time I’d seen a dead body or even the first time I saw someone check out in front of me. But something about that just stuck in a way that the other times hadn’t.
Not actively found, but I saw a covered body of a girl, who jumped in front a train, next to the train I used daily. I didnt really feel anything, but thought its a shame, as she was clearly a teen.
The other time I didnt see the body, but felt it. Let me explain.
I was riding the same train for 10 years, so I basically knew every bump, honk, timing… basically knew exactly how the ride went. Then one day, the train started honking at an unusual place, which instantly set off my senses and a few seconds later, I felt like we ran over something. We ran over somebody that lived maybe 100m away.
We learned that only 1-2 hours later, when people were cracking jokes and then the conductor confirmed it. Then there were police cars, ambulance and unmarked special cars, but the big thing was when they were going to the train, around and such, whey went back to their cars with brown bags, clearly bodyparts.
2 hours went by like nothing. At that time, it didnt really hit me, but when my mom told me what happened and I basically told here I was there, thats when it started feeling real.
The guy was a medical student, working on his doctorate, coming home from judo practice. He was stressed, tired and basically all that knowledge, just gone in an instant, 100m from home.
I still remember how I felt the moment before it all happened and when it happened. You would never think you are so in tune with something as a train ride and be able to feel if it runs over something, but you can and the feeling and sound is just something else.
Yeah, a few times, worst was listening to someone drown while they panic called their insurance company as the house flooded and collapsed.
That or finding mum. Had a mental breakdown after that
Life is a journey.