I had a "one night stand" with a woman, I should have left it at one night. But I kept seeing her, even after I found out she was MARRIED. But I did leave after I had another one night stand. With the woman that turned into my wife of 30 + years.
My marriage broke when my kids were one and four. He did something I couldn’t forgive him for. But my kids were so young; and I was a stay-at-home mom and completely financially dependent on him. And, as a child of divorce, I really, really did not want divorce for my kids.
My original plan was to stay until my youngest turned eighteen. The only problem with this plan is that I no longer wanted him to touch me. We stayed together for four more years. At least I got my youngest weaned from the breast, out of diapers and into kindergarten.
Yeah, I dated a woman who was kind of opinionated and very critical and nitpicked everything. We broke up after about a year and a half, but she wanted to get back together, so we did. But after another year and a half, I had had enough of her criticisms and arguments.
One night we got into an argument about Christmas lights (couple weeks before Xmas), she was expecting me to worry about hanging lights even though I was working two jobs. I considered it not important enough to get done and it wasn’t going to hurt not having them.
She just started on everything I did, nitpicking and criticizing just about everything. I finally just told her that I was going to save her a lot of breath and time. I was going to just assume everything I did was wrong and then she would only have to say something to me if I did something right!
I slept on the couch that night and was off the next morning. After she left for work I got up and thought for a while. Then called my mom and asked if I could stay at home just til I got an apartment. She said of course and I went through the house and packed up everything that was mine. I packed my car and then double checked the house. I left the key on the table, locked the door and left. When I got a few miles away on the freeway it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders and chest. I should have just been done with her the first time we broke up. Worst 3 years I had.
Yupp. I was in a sort of together but not official “relationship” for like 3 years. He never wanted to make things official. Said he was a bad boyfriend. But of course we were more than friends. He liked having me at his beck and call but didn’t want to commit or do any couple stuff like actual dates… I knew the whole time it was a bad idea and it wasn’t what I wanted but I also admitted that I was settling for that at the time because I was lonely and he was my person to lean on at the time… we let that go on for too long. Eventually we both ended up dating other people and he finally told me he wanted to date me officially AFTER I got into a serious relationship with my current bf of nearly 5 years. Funny how that works.
You know that Adam defied God in order to follow Eve, right? Don’t be judgey 😉
For every relationship somebody just knew they should’a left but didn’t, there’s at least one where they did and regretted it (well, admittedly fewer on Reddit). Just ask Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes (feat. Teddy Pendergrass).
He broke up with me, kinda, like 7 months in. And then continued to call me and want me to come over. And then he’d tell me how awesome I was and we’d get "back together" again, only to repeat the cycle and mknth or two later.
From 2000-2004 we went through this cycle, and it’s was so convinced he was the man of my dreams and that crying regularly over him was normal and just proved how deep our love was.
Long story as to what was the death blow to the relationship, but I finally found my spine and told him I wasn’t going to be his doormat or convenient fuck buddy anymore. And his response, clear as day, as I was dealing with a major family crisis and him being the selfish prick he always had been, was "I don’t like sad people."
Yup from 14yr old-24yr old with my ex.. even married him. Should have ended it at least by 16yrs old. LOL He was 4 yrs older and did his best to mold me to what he wanted. Some very bad years though.
Yes. Most of them, actually. I had low self-esteem due to bullying. My last ex was controlling due to him being older.
He started wanting me to put things in my name for him. Add him to my bank account and get a card with his name. (No way did I ever do that) I found out he was cheating and broke up that instant.
A yr later, he asked me to make his wedding cake for the marriage of the woman he cheated on me with. Wanted my son to play his instrument while his new bride walked down the aisle.
Yes!! My first marriage and a boyfriend I had afterwards. For me, I try and try and try while slowly building up walls. Then I just hit my limit and end it.
I think it’s hard for most people… we stay with people because of fear of change, fear of being alone, complacency and because of our history with that person without regard to our future with that person.
Then I remember that life isn’t a dress rehearsal.
Yes. I had 2 kids with 2 sperm donors and I should have left sooner but then I got pregnant and felt stuck(both relationships were abusive). Then I got married to a 3rd idiot (abusive as well – financially, mental and emotionally) and instantly regretted it. Eventually got divorced, thank god. He filed for divorce before I could (I was saving $ up to file).
Yes… twice. Left both of them. How long? Years. Should have left one of them around 2000 but didn’t leave until 2005. Should have left the other one a full decade before I ended it.
I was in a 13 year relationship that I should have left after 3-4 years. I’m sad to say that I didn’t even really leave him. He kind of bait and switched me into breaking up.
After being together for 11 years, we were supposed to move out of the city together to a smaller town a few hours away so I could go back to school for a Master’s program. A month before my program started, after things were arranged and I was past the point of no return, he decided that he should stay in the city to hold onto our cheap apartment. He said we’d do long distance and alternate visiting each other on weekends. Then if after a semester or two, we were sure we liked the town, he’d move too.
In the 18 months that I was going to school, he visited me 4 times (including when he helped me move) and he never stayed the full weekend.
When my program was over, I was offered a job in the town, and wanted to stay. He said that he didn’t want to move out of the city. That’s the official reason we broke up, but it was complete BS. A few months later he ended up moving out of the city to a different small town to live with another woman.
Yes. My first marriage. I had no money to leave, no car, and was easily controlled. Looking back, I DID try, I joined the military and was going to be home free until I got sent home on a medical. I went back , mostly because I had no where to go. I finally got my shit together and got a great career and after a few years of my ex not cleaning up I left him. 10 years wasted but I dont look at it like that. He was just practice for when I found the real love of my life.
Yes, my first marriage. If you look at the pictures of my wedding, I have that deer in headlights look but I was young, 18 and I thought that was what I was supposed to do, get married have kids all that crap. We later divorced and 6 years later I found the love of my life. We’ve been together for 34 years.
Comments
I think that was a lot of people during lockdown
I had a "one night stand" with a woman, I should have left it at one night. But I kept seeing her, even after I found out she was MARRIED. But I did leave after I had another one night stand. With the woman that turned into my wife of 30 + years.
My marriage broke when my kids were one and four. He did something I couldn’t forgive him for. But my kids were so young; and I was a stay-at-home mom and completely financially dependent on him. And, as a child of divorce, I really, really did not want divorce for my kids.
My original plan was to stay until my youngest turned eighteen. The only problem with this plan is that I no longer wanted him to touch me. We stayed together for four more years. At least I got my youngest weaned from the breast, out of diapers and into kindergarten.
Yep like every single one I’ve been in. Haha. But in all seriousness there were lessons to be learned from all of it.
Yeah, I dated a woman who was kind of opinionated and very critical and nitpicked everything. We broke up after about a year and a half, but she wanted to get back together, so we did. But after another year and a half, I had had enough of her criticisms and arguments.
One night we got into an argument about Christmas lights (couple weeks before Xmas), she was expecting me to worry about hanging lights even though I was working two jobs. I considered it not important enough to get done and it wasn’t going to hurt not having them.
She just started on everything I did, nitpicking and criticizing just about everything. I finally just told her that I was going to save her a lot of breath and time. I was going to just assume everything I did was wrong and then she would only have to say something to me if I did something right!
I slept on the couch that night and was off the next morning. After she left for work I got up and thought for a while. Then called my mom and asked if I could stay at home just til I got an apartment. She said of course and I went through the house and packed up everything that was mine. I packed my car and then double checked the house. I left the key on the table, locked the door and left. When I got a few miles away on the freeway it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders and chest. I should have just been done with her the first time we broke up. Worst 3 years I had.
Yupp. I was in a sort of together but not official “relationship” for like 3 years. He never wanted to make things official. Said he was a bad boyfriend. But of course we were more than friends. He liked having me at his beck and call but didn’t want to commit or do any couple stuff like actual dates… I knew the whole time it was a bad idea and it wasn’t what I wanted but I also admitted that I was settling for that at the time because I was lonely and he was my person to lean on at the time… we let that go on for too long. Eventually we both ended up dating other people and he finally told me he wanted to date me officially AFTER I got into a serious relationship with my current bf of nearly 5 years. Funny how that works.
I dated a guy off and on. I think he had abusive tendencies just by watching his actions. He was way too possessive. I’m glad I left when I did.
Everyone has.
Oh hell yes!
You know that Adam defied God in order to follow Eve, right? Don’t be judgey 😉
For every relationship somebody just knew they should’a left but didn’t, there’s at least one where they did and regretted it (well, admittedly fewer on Reddit). Just ask Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes (feat. Teddy Pendergrass).
My first serious relationship.
He broke up with me, kinda, like 7 months in. And then continued to call me and want me to come over. And then he’d tell me how awesome I was and we’d get "back together" again, only to repeat the cycle and mknth or two later.
From 2000-2004 we went through this cycle, and it’s was so convinced he was the man of my dreams and that crying regularly over him was normal and just proved how deep our love was.
Long story as to what was the death blow to the relationship, but I finally found my spine and told him I wasn’t going to be his doormat or convenient fuck buddy anymore. And his response, clear as day, as I was dealing with a major family crisis and him being the selfish prick he always had been, was "I don’t like sad people."
4 years of life wasted.
Definitely. 2 or 3 times
Yup from 14yr old-24yr old with my ex.. even married him. Should have ended it at least by 16yrs old. LOL He was 4 yrs older and did his best to mold me to what he wanted. Some very bad years though.
Yes. Most of them, actually. I had low self-esteem due to bullying. My last ex was controlling due to him being older.
He started wanting me to put things in my name for him. Add him to my bank account and get a card with his name. (No way did I ever do that) I found out he was cheating and broke up that instant.
A yr later, he asked me to make his wedding cake for the marriage of the woman he cheated on me with. Wanted my son to play his instrument while his new bride walked down the aisle.
I have some very choice words and blocked him.
Yes. She was very wealthy, and I thought if I could make our relationship work, I’d never have to have a job.
So it went on for about 6 months after it should have been over.
When I left, I was jobless and broke, but I have never felt such immense relief and happiness.
Don’t stay in a bad relationship.
Many times.
Almost every time.
Yes!! My first marriage and a boyfriend I had afterwards. For me, I try and try and try while slowly building up walls. Then I just hit my limit and end it.
I think it’s hard for most people… we stay with people because of fear of change, fear of being alone, complacency and because of our history with that person without regard to our future with that person.
Then I remember that life isn’t a dress rehearsal.
Yes. I had 2 kids with 2 sperm donors and I should have left sooner but then I got pregnant and felt stuck(both relationships were abusive). Then I got married to a 3rd idiot (abusive as well – financially, mental and emotionally) and instantly regretted it. Eventually got divorced, thank god. He filed for divorce before I could (I was saving $ up to file).
Yes… twice. Left both of them. How long? Years. Should have left one of them around 2000 but didn’t leave until 2005. Should have left the other one a full decade before I ended it.
I was in a 13 year relationship that I should have left after 3-4 years. I’m sad to say that I didn’t even really leave him. He kind of bait and switched me into breaking up.
After being together for 11 years, we were supposed to move out of the city together to a smaller town a few hours away so I could go back to school for a Master’s program. A month before my program started, after things were arranged and I was past the point of no return, he decided that he should stay in the city to hold onto our cheap apartment. He said we’d do long distance and alternate visiting each other on weekends. Then if after a semester or two, we were sure we liked the town, he’d move too.
In the 18 months that I was going to school, he visited me 4 times (including when he helped me move) and he never stayed the full weekend.
When my program was over, I was offered a job in the town, and wanted to stay. He said that he didn’t want to move out of the city. That’s the official reason we broke up, but it was complete BS. A few months later he ended up moving out of the city to a different small town to live with another woman.
Yes. My first marriage. I had no money to leave, no car, and was easily controlled. Looking back, I DID try, I joined the military and was going to be home free until I got sent home on a medical. I went back , mostly because I had no where to go. I finally got my shit together and got a great career and after a few years of my ex not cleaning up I left him. 10 years wasted but I dont look at it like that. He was just practice for when I found the real love of my life.
Yes, my first marriage. If you look at the pictures of my wedding, I have that deer in headlights look but I was young, 18 and I thought that was what I was supposed to do, get married have kids all that crap. We later divorced and 6 years later I found the love of my life. We’ve been together for 34 years.
Yes and I regretted it ever since
Yep.