If you have one, how long did it take you to create a stable income for yourself and what was the journey like?
People don’t talk about the transition from being consistently fairly broke your whole life to actually having a liveable income. Most of my life I made like 45k and that was fine. I didn’t really think much of it. But there’s just a sense of intense guilt you have when you spend money. The past couple years I made 60k but I was paying off credit card debt (finally paid off). And finally, I made it to 85k with zero debt and the difference is wild. It’s things like…being able to get a slightly more expensive gym membership. Or being able to buy groceries without feeling guilty. Being able to go out to eat every once in a while to a nice place. Buying a dinner for a friend. Investing in the occasional luxury. Going on an international trip and knowing I can afford it instead of living like a peasant for months and months to save the money. Investing in a hobby. Being able to live in an apartment without a roommate. It took so long to get here. Congrats to the other women who are hustling and getting their bag. It takes so much work.
EDIT: Sorry guys, I forgot to make this a question. I added a question up there so, hopefully we can keep this discussion going – it’s awesome to hear from everyone about this topic.
Comments
Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness has always had money.
Money can’t buy the deep happiness and fulfillment of love and connection, but it can buy literally everything else.
There’s old research showing that money does improve happiness until you get to a certain level of stability, then it doesn’t make much of a difference anymore. What that level is probably varies based on location and composition of other things (kids, elderly parents to caregive for, etc.) But it’s pretty accepted in the area of life satisfaction research.
I make $45k now and think I won the lottery. Most jobs here (unless you are a lawyer, dentist or doctor) only pays $12-$16/hr and I make almost $10/hr more than that. But yes, not being stressed about money does make life much better.
Happy for you and I wish you continued wealth. It makes a difference for sure.
It’s fascinating to me how it doesn’t take nearly as much as I once thought! I’m currently hovering around $80k as a single woman, 2 kids, just bought my ex out of our house in the very final stage of our divorce agreement. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d like to be pulling $100k at this point in my career, but I have time to get there. I have enough to afford my life, to travel, to eat well. Life is good! And brava to all you ladies making it work.
Granted I was a non-traditional college student (was 25 when I went to traditional four year after getting my associate’s degree so I could qualify for financial aid and pell grant), but it took until just this year of working in my career to make an income where I am actually able to do all the things the financial advisors say you should (save for retirement, save for emergencies, save for fun, etc). I still don’t contribute what I “should” to retirement, but I have time. Basically, I’m mid-30s and for the first time in my life, not living paycheck to paycheck just paying basic cost of living expenses. The joys of being a millennial!
I felt like I made it when I didn’t have to add up every item i put in my cart when getting groceries to make sure I had enough to pay for everything.
I’ll also add that financial stability and prosperity takes certain stressors off of relationships, too. Not to say a bunch of money doesn’t have its own problems if you let it, but never needing to think about how much something costs (within reason, obviously) means you have removed a certain layer of survival/will I have enough anxiety.
100%. Growing up without much was really hard. It was horrible to watch my parents struggle and we had to go without quite a bit…. Which is why I vowed to never be in that position when I grew up.
I worked my ass off to get to the income I wanted and it feels good to have money in the bank, the ability to buy things without feeling guilty and spoil myself sometimes.
Have to a say though, you never really let go of what it’s like being poor so I’m always saving and scrimping more than I need to because I’m low key afraid to be back where we were growing up 🙁
It took me 10+ years to get my degrees and training. Cheers to us frfr 😭😭
Still working towards securing my own bag right now in professional school. Can’t wait til I get there!
Not having to worry about money to cover the basics and small luxuries is incredible.
Any problem that can be solved with money is just a task if you have the money to throw at it.
When you don’t have the money or it’s not solvable with money, that’s a problem.
Having enough money to throw at most problems is a pretty solid middle ground between rich and broke.
Since Jan 1, we’ve replaced a water heater, paid the full year’s premium for auto insurance, my dumb ass fender bendered our good vehicle (paid cash for ours and the neighbor’s vehicle to avoid insurance rate hikes and dragging out repairs), our old car fully died, both dogs needed dentals, and my husband finally quit the shitty job that’s been making him miserable for way too long.
We’re also moving out of state later this summer, so he won’t be in a good spot to secure another full-time replacement job until then. We’re in my cramped starter house, so us living off my $90k salary is plenty fine because the mortgage is small and he doesn’t mind a budget. And with the equity and our current savings, we’ll be able to get moved and buy another house in a year or so even if we can’t add more to savings in the meantime. That probably won’t happen because my husband has ants in his pants and is bad at loafing, so he’s planning on picking up shift and temp work until then, but still. We’re ready.
And you know what? We’re not stressed. He was for a little bit there, but I reminded him of the statistic that the average American can’t weather an unexpected $400 expense without incurring debt or selling something. That ramble above? Roughly $9k of unexpected expenses in Q1 alone (insurance is a known) and we’re still just fine.
That’s the kind of happiness money absolutely can buy. Congrats to you for being able to translate your hard work into good, satisfying stability. You’ve earned it!
That’s awesome! You nearly doubled your income! Great job!
I really wish this sub had a personal finance flair – women should be talking about this more, especially in this age range! Thank you for opening the floor OP.
I’m making a strong, stable income now (just broke six figures in one of the highest COL cities in the US) and am very close to a six month emergency fund. I’ve been grinding for months to make this happen after many years of financial immaturity and a financially destructive relationship/breakup a little over a year ago; it felt like laboriously building a ladder and then slowly climbing it and only now can I actually get a peak over the fence at the stable, stress free life on the other side.
I’ve been obsessively tracking how much I throw into my HYSA every month, and it was only today that I realized that once the emergency fund is done I have ALL THAT MONEY to do with what I want instead – which will of course involve retirement savings but also means more travel and art classes and guilt free incredible dates with my partner and beautiful gifts for my loved ones and maybe saving for a wedding. I’m so excited!
The first time I bought groceries without checking my bank account first I felt like I had finally made it.
The two things that I think of as “proof” I made it – I can always fill my tank when I stop for gas, and I don’t have to worry about what’s in my cart when I’m grocery shopping. Every time I do either of those things, I have a wave of gratitude wash over me. I am one of the lucky ones.
I thought I had anxiety, but really I was just broke.
I’ve had a couple of “this is my first real adult paycheck” moments in my life.
I’d agree around 70k-80k, was a noticeable improvement in life. I’ve moved up brackets since then, but that was the biggest change. That went from renting a tiny apartment to buying a home.
Hitting six figures felt like a milestone, but I just put more money into savings. It wasn’t as impactful on my lifestyle
I work as a NP now, but my first stable income came from my first job as a LPN.
Yess. Although I’m capping out around 68k. At least bought a house at a decent time 5 years ago. But I still never turn down my parents’ generosity with my 12 year old, at all lolol. It would be nice to travel tho, otherwise just nice to not worry as much as when I made 48k… or stay in a bad relationship…etc… but these tariffs let’s not go there lol
I hope it’s okay for me to comment. I haven’t achieved this yet but it is one of my goals is financial stability. I guess for me it isn’t much of having the luxury to do whatever it is that I choose but more importantly that I can finally feel secure in the fact that I have a little less stress. Growing up struggling with financial instability was traumatic and i told myself I would remove myself from experiencing this again. I am still aiming for this and hopefully someday soon I get to experience what it’s like to be one less thing to worry about.
I’m 34 and it’s likely not going to happen. I’m hoping I get some money when someone dies, but it’s unlikely.
I wish someone had told me to be more practical instead of following my dreams when I was younger. Oh well. Could be worse.
I had a pretty stable income for a while and was getting things track. Had money in savings for the first time in my life, my credit was on a good incline, and then got laid off for the first time in my life of September of 2023 and have not been able to find a real job since, and my life is literally falling apart at the seams. I’m still hopeful though that things will turn around. I’ve been down before and had to get back up and I’ll do it again.
I think “stable”was two years after I graduated with my masters? And then “comfortable” was eight years after graduating with my master’s.
I went to college and graduated (late) in 2010. Those jobs that should have been easy to come by didn’t exist. I waited tables, bartended, and did freelance writing for a few years before moving into corporate as a copywriter in 2012. After a few years I went back to freelance and built up income but 2019 was when I broke the 100k mark and started making serious (to me) money. So it took almost 10 years after college.
I grew up in a working-class family that struggled a lot financially. Then I struggled myself when I moved out to go to college. And then of course the Great Recession happened just as I graduated from college, so the years after graduating were extremely rough for me. After working 2-4 part-time minimum jobs, I landed my first real full-time job at age 23–it only paid $22,000 with no benefits.
Then I got a big break at 24: a one-year internship that gave me free housing, and a new full-time job that paid $35,000 with benefits. I landed the latter because I got a scholarship for a certificate program, and one of my classmates got me a job where she worked. That one year gave me enough reprieve to finally start paying off my student loans and not living paycheck to paycheck.
At age 25, I got a new job that paid $41,000 with benefits at an organization I still work at today. I split one car and a $1,000/month apartment that was 300 square feet with my partner at the time. We lived hella frugally so that we could aggressively pay off our student loans, which we did when I was 30.
Now at 37, I make $100,000 at that same job. I know I can make more, but l’m comfortable for now. I still have zero debt, a ton in savings, and still live pretty frugally. But I’m in a much more comfortable apartment and do not worry about finances like I did in my 20s.
I was so shocked by how true this is when it finally happened. Especially stark contrast to lose it after too. So wild to experience how access to reliable, livable wages so directly determine quality of life.
I’m not in this bracket in my life right now, unfortunately. Was laid off from my full time job and have been trying to find my way back into a similar position 😔. I’m working part time and freelancing and the time and money management is worlds different than when I had stability in this area from my own funds and a partner to half the financial burdens.
I think it’s really hard for my friends to relate who have always had one or both of these areas in their life. Thanks for posting this, it’s been so encouraging reading others’ journeys .
THIS. I live in Australia and I’m currently on around $80k + super. A year ago, I was on slightly less (same job, I got a pay rise) but I was extremely financially stressed as I was living in the most expensive city in the country, living with my ex-partner who just didn’t seem able to save and therefore impacted my ability to save (I later found out exactly where all his money was going and his “inability to save” made a lot more sense). After the relationship broke down I was even more stressed trying to keep myself afloat while throwing money at rent, bills, moving expenses etc.
I’ve only been living at my mum’s a little over a week now, but there is already SO much weight that has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m no longer paying an unsustainable rent or paying bills on my own. My ability to save has made me feel so much more comfortable, and less stressed about my money. I got to keep my job but go remote, so it’s the same income, but not having to pay as many expenses (including travel/commuting) means that I have so much more money to put aside.
So I definitely think your living situation can play a HUGE factor.
The feeling of not even looking at the total when I pay for groceries is amazing.
Still under 40k here but im trying my best to bring up my income its so hard but I hope I’ll get there.
I’ve been in the same career for a decade and a couple years in the legal field.; self-employed subcontractor. The more you work, the more you earn.
In my 20s I always said that I valued time over money but it was more of an excuse for my terrible time management. I didn’t work too hard and spent a lot of time travelling and partying, racking up those costs on credit (bad choice, I know).
Closer to my mid 30s I finally got my shit together — organized a solid work plan for time management and a really solid budget, and set out to earn six figures annually. I’m finally in an excellent routine and have clear timelines for paying off all my debts, whilst still having disposable income to save for retirement, future travels, emergency savings, and treating myself with things like tattoos, med spa appointments, etc.
It’s such an amazing feeling. I’m so proud of myself but it took a lot of hard work and consistency to get here after years of financial irresponsibility.
What do you do?
I got my first job as a “professional” a couple years ago, making more money than anyone in my generationally-poor family ever has (just 65k lol) and have really enjoyed the benefits of not having to look too hard at the price of groceries and spending way too much money on clothes.
I still feel a big sense of precarity though. I have to figure out how to stay in this industry even though I hate it (and am likely losing my job this year), or risk everything to start over to save my mental health doing something I haven’t even figured out yet. I suppose that’s a different level of stability: the privilege of being able to start over without so much risk.
I am 10000000% a happier person now that I have a stable income. I can afford independence. I’m not stuck anywhere. I can eat what I want when I want. I can help other people out. It’s been life changing.
When I hit $60k, I really started to see a difference in quality of life. For context, I lived out of my car for about half a year when I was working part time and going to college full time. I live in a very high cost of living area, and it sucked working my ass off and playing the “move money around to cover minimums” game when I was in the $40k range.
I know where I am right now in my life I COULD easily find another job that pays 6 figures, but I just found out I’m pregnant (due in December!) with my first and my current job is easy as pie for the amount of money I get vs work they expect out of me, plus, they absolutely adore me at work and are flexible with my schedule if I need to come in late or leave early. If I’m having a brain fart day, I just let my boss know and they let me just chill and basically do nothing at work. Of course, when important stuff comes up, I follow up on these items very tightly and give clear updates to my bosses; but I came from a huge corporate company and now work for a small family business and they really don’t know better to demand KPIs or stupid corporate game shit.
The only reason why I’d leave my current job at this point is if I can find another job with a minimum of same pay, relatively same amount of easiness, and I have an option to work from home, even if it’s only a couple days a week. However, all the offers I’ve seen online (and I NEVER get comfortable/complacent at work, your coworkers are NOT your fucking friends) so far are kinda shitty/longer and crappier commute, etc., so I’m happy where I am at least till I give birth, and then we will reassess from there.
I once read a comment on Reddit that stuck with me, “Money solves a lot of problems, but not all your problems in life. Just remember, the problems money cannot solve are usually the most important.” I definitely agree with u/Automatic_Syrup_2935 – congrats to all the sisters grinding it out and making that money, let’s raise each other up with love and support & change our lives for the better!!!
It’s the most amazing and transformative experience. Literally a huge weight off your shoulders. Money isn’t everything but the stress it takes off your back is massive
This is what the research on universal basic income has shown. When people have a reliable income to cover their basic needs such as housing, utilities and food, their mental health improves, they spend less time going to the doctor, their relationships improve, etc.
I’ve been all kinds of poor throughout my life. I’ve been South-American , 3rd world country poor and I’ve experienced further on poverty in Western-Europe relations.
Until I came to Europe, I didn’t know kids had their own beds and rooms. My only educational device and my entertainment was the TV in a small room that belonged to a shared room apartment in an area where ppl are advised not to go to. Not even in broad daylight.
I know the anxiety since I’ve been a kid in school that emerges when teachers announce school trips and additional gadgets needed for teaching lessons. No piano classes, no ballet. Using my voice was for free so I joined the choir. The only trendy ‘brand’ shoes I owned as a teen were converse shoes. And I always felt bad inviting my German friends to my home bc we shared a small 2-room apartment for 4 ppl in an area where middle-class Germans resided. Ofc, there was no resources for private tutoring. And the fights my parents had about money were chronic and ongoing. It didn’t help that my father was bad with money and blew it all out the point he went insolvent and didn’t help that my parents went through divorce on top of financial struggles.
At 25 I applied for educational advancement grants and got a loan and put all the money I didn’t have into my education and went to medical school. I’m 3 months away from graduating. The financial burden, the crushing pressure of debt and academics and the continuous summer I’ve worked every miserable job I could find were a significant strain on my body. I developed chronic pain, I was diagnosed with moderate depression a few years ago. Life hasn’t been sweet the past few years.
My debt will probably be paid off in approx 5 years. Until then I will be seeing 6-7K brutto a month in my deposit. None of my family members have ever seen that much money a month in their life’s. It’s crazy.
I always put so much emphasis on independence bc my mom taught me to. She didn’t have the resources for education. She didn’t get to graduate for a job or from college. She was always dependent on someone or struggling by herself with 2 kids.
I don’t know yet how it will be like to earn a lot of money and the freedom that comes with it, but i am very much looking forward to it. Honestly, writing this put tears in my eyes. People who always had it all have a massive problem recognizing how hard it is to climb up the socioeconomic ladder. It’s a constant marathon.
100% agree
I’m looking at a promotion which will get me an additional £10k a year this summer and I’m going to pay off the debt I’ve accumulated on various things since buying our house wiped out the majority of my savings, and then I will have hundreds extra a month free to save. It’s going to be fricking delightful.
I am so happy to be a homeowner, but it’s also meant that we’ve had to be home renovators and that’s been stupidly expensive on unexpected things even after the expected money was kept aside. I am really going hard on paying these things off at the moment and my aim is to be completely debt free well before 40 except the mortgage.
I’m also only within the first five years of my career in academia since living for years on a PhD stipend, so the change from that has been wild.
Beware of lifestyle creep, my dude. Poor to rich usually land in that
I agree as someone who has never had that stability it’s all I yearn for
There is math behind this, if you make $65k and your bills add up to about $60k, you make $5k, if you make $85k and your bills are $60k, you make $25k which doesnt just feel like $20k more, but actually feels like a 500% increase, its also why when rich people get richer their take home increase could be $20k, but its only a 1-2% increase
Money can buy a lot of happiness 🙂
How long did it take to have a stable income??
My first step was minimizing my spend. I went out of my way to find the absolute cheapest places to live. Pretty safe – there were times I had literal 2x4s across the door and bars on the windows – but I could pay for it with a single income. And kept job hopping and working at least 2 jobs. I was able to purchase a condo by myself at 37. Great neighborhood, great view, great schools, covered parking, pool.
Having a decent income really is life changing. I was in my 40s before I felt I could finally stop doing 2 jobs. Oh, and I had to divorce my money sink of an ex-husband.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs really applied to me. I needed that air,water,food,shelter,sleep,clothing to be able to start feeling stable. Yes, Oprah et. al. want us all to be at the self-actualization stage – but until you have that personal security, employment, resources, health to be able to get that friendship, intimacy, family, sense of connection – I can’t get to that respect, self esteem, status, recognition and desire to become the best I can be.
Now I’m in my 60s – – – – – – – I still have rental income (rent out that initial condo), but I have another 10 years before I get to retire, so I am still working.
I guess you could say that I still live like a peasant. I have a home gym I got for free – so no gym membership. I have an espresso machine in the kitchen from the thrift store – so no starbucks. I have a washer/dryer from habitat for humanity – so no laundromat. I have a car – so no uber/lyft. I have a massage chair from craigslist – so no massages.
I refuse to purchase new (unless it’s shoes/mattresses/underwear) and get to live a million dollar life on a slightly less than average household income.
My husband has never been one step away from homelessness in his entire life. (one of the benefits of having a mentally and financially stable family). He has never had the electricity turned off for non-payment. He has never been evicted. He has never lost a house to foreclosure. And he is stressed because our income has gone down the past 2 years. Well – that’s what happens in your 60s and 70s. This is the wind-down time.
You always think you’re poor. I can’t explain it, but financial stability is just as nerve wrecking t as poverty. You have way more to lose.
My husband started collecting social security and kept working part time while I worked full time. It took years, but we paid off a ton of debt and eventually chose to buy a very cheap house in a cheap area with very low property taxes. We also bought when mortgage rates were at their lowest
Last year, he received an inheritance that allowed us to buy a new car for cash. We have also become experts at living extremely frugally and are very mindful about purchases. We also installed a solar electric system on our house that charges up our car for 30 free miles a day (it’s a plug-in hybrid) and keeps our monthly electricity bill down to about $25. Because of his age, we qualified for a freeze in our property taxes. His medical insurance provides ten free hours of landscaping help per year (!) which saves us $1000. It also provides $150 a month in groceries, which has cut our food bill in half.
I’ve never felt this level of peace before. It’s worth striving for… get your monthly requirements down as much as possible so your income demands are as low as possible. That unlocks the ability to be flexible about the ways you can make money. I did a ton of side hustles during those years, by the way, but always found a way to make them fun.
So yes, knowing that no matter what, we’ll always be able to afford our house, our utilities, our food and our medicine has made a profound difference in my peace of mind and our satisfaction with life. After over forty years of scrapping for money just to stay alive, it’s a fantastic feeling.
Stable income changes everything. It took me years to get there but once I did I stopped stressing over every penny. Being able to buy what I need without guilt, travel or even enjoy hobbies it’s a whole new level of freedom.
It’s not about luxury it’s about not living paycheck to paycheck. It takes time and a lot of work but it’s worth it when you get there
Money does not buy happiness but it sure does buy down stress!!
Even when i was stable, i still felt guilty about spending lol 😂
Was your debt significant or were you putting a ton towards savings? I feel like I do ok on $50k a year in NYC, including travel and nice items. But im also new to even this level of income and I may be biting off more than I can chew at the moment