He (23M) calls me a friend (22F) but uses me like a gf substitute. How do I end it?

r/

I’m 22F n met this guy 3 years ago through a friend. At first it was cool just being platonic but he started messaging me every day n asking me to hang out after school just us two. I was fine with it until I noticed he keeps building this emotional connection like he wants more but then when he’s done he just calls me a friend. I was open to it being more. It’s like he only wants me around when he needs validation or when his ego needs a boost. Once he has a crush or another girl in the picture he pushes me aside. He talks 2 a lot of girls at our school n online. My friend said to decline his invites but don’t tell the truth.

I feel like I’m stuck as a back up and I’m tired of it. I want to cut this off but idk how without it being messy. Has anyone here been thru this and how did u end it? If u hve r doing the same thing to someone, pls stop.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:

    • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

    • We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.

    • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

    • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

    • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

    • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.

    • Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.

    • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

    If you have any questions, please message the mods


    This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. BriefEquipment8 Avatar

    Stop being available when he reaches out. You owe no other explanation.

  3. CriticalMistique Avatar

    I’m in the mindset that it’s emotionally exhausting to overly explain yourself. I would set a boundary with him that you only want to meet up with him on a set schedule. If he asks, just say you’re busy with school or work or something. Like meet up every other Tuesday or only call in the evenings. That way it prevents him from emotionally unloading on you at any time he pleases. But you also don’t have any obligation to make time for him whenever he wants.

  4. WITCHERGeorgie Avatar

    Are you me 5 years ago I literally went through the same thing! then 4 years later I finally blocked him on everything and have felt so much better since! Even met the man of my dreams right after hehe