I’ve been with this man for three years. Last night I was at his house, and every time I tried to talk, he’d sigh or roll his eyes. I asked if I was bothering him, and he didn’t say much.
He has to work tomorrow, I don’t, so I decided to leave rather than sit in silence feeling unwanted. When I told him I was leaving, he just said, “I don’t care. Do what you have to do. Just stop talking.”
I left. And he still hasn’t texted me. Not even to see if I got home safe.
After three years, is that normal? I would’ve checked on him. What do I do now?
Comments
It’s not normal. Don’t contact him until he apologises.
Honestly, his silence screams louder than words. You deserve so much more than being treated like background noise so walk away or demand respect because love without basic care isn’t love at all.
He is an abusive rude jerk. Time to put yourself first and move on.
He reacts like an 8 year old, are you sure you’re dating an adult?
Thank you . He is rude, and I never kept him, which left him stunned, but you’re rude and closed off. He gave the dog more attention and care than me. I didn’t want to leave, but why stay when it’s nothing . All I wanted was him to say stay and not leave he didn’t. But got mad that I left? My head hurts
Meh, enjoy the silence and solace. Make him sweat and let him miss you.
Was this out of the blue or something typical of him
Yes and no. There can be moodiness and grumoinrss . But I would just follow suit to be easy. What was out of the blue was me leaving . I worked all week. I want to sleep in tmrw. He has to be up early. He was going to bed. I wasn’t ready . There was no affection all night. Which I don’t need, but everything I said seemed to be annoying. He can go to bed and wake up tmrw like nothing happened. I cannot. I don’t want yo fight about it, but it needs to be addressed. Never is .
Why do you want this relationship? Sounds like he has no respect for you. Does he usually behave like this?
This is a form of abuse. Run.
sounds like a taurus.
or something you have done and he wont open up.
He doesn’t care about you at all sis
He didn’t give a fuck about you… I’m sorry you had to deal with a guy like that.. maybe it was a communication problem or something along the lines… but damn. That’s just harsh, you deserve better 🙁
For the love of God, do not reach out to him. He is mistreating you and it’s time for you to start cutting the cord, mentally at least.
As soon as I read “eye roll” I knew he doesn’t even like you. Leave lady (or sir) and find someone who values you instead. Starting with YOU. 💗
Thank your lucky stars that you are rid of him.
A blessing in disguise, I know. Always easiest said then done
Honey, read the room. He’s no longer interested in you. Pack up your things and return to your home. It’s over.
If you don’t fly the coup he will. I would say nothing, I would not text him. I would not call. I think you’ll continue to get silence from him. This is how jerks break up. Going back for more would only make it worse.
He may come back to see if you’re up for a romp from time to time. After enough time has gone by for you to understand that he’s a free agent…If he hasn’t found someone or if he’s between girlfriends. Or if his girlfriend is working. He will try again eventually just to prove he can. That is the moment you take your power back. You can shut him down as hard as you want!
Do not draw this out. It only gets more painful. If he shows up tell him you’re done. It’s going to be painful but the less drama around him the better. This guy is just not worth it. You’re a popsicle around him. When you cry it’s not around him. If he has stuff at your place toss it in a box. Make him come and get it if he wants it. If he doesn’t show up in a month toss it in the garbage.
He won’t leave you alone because he’s used to having you there. A man won’t change until it’s too late and that shows you that his bad behavior was acceptable until you didn’t tolerate it any longer. He may try to convince you that he’ll change but he won’t. Move forward and don’t look back… it’s a waste of time.
This is actually how I knew my first marriage was over. Apathy or contempt are not good signs. I’m so sorry. I’m so glad you walked out.
Take the hint. He’s done.
Run, run as far away from this person as you can. Lol. Now that you’ve left, never go back. He sounds like a mean a**hole.
Oh honey; believe it when he says “I don’t care.” Quietly, do what you have to: pick up your dignity, and alone you will be better off. Don’t bother anymore.
I’m sorry he treated you that way. How mean and rude! I feel that you’re under reacting to his cruel treatment of you. It’s not right. You do not deserve it. He should apologize of course. But please do not go back to him. Let him know, that you know, that you deserve much better.
you deserve someone who listens and respects you.
It’s over
Bye bye byeeeeeeeee hit the road jack.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Time to cut him loose..
There is way too little information to give you anything other than a kneejerk response.
He is not respectful nor does he know how to communicate like an adult. I would NOT contact him. If he reaches out, dump him.
Your own feeling of “being unwanted” is triggering behaviors such as asking if you were bothering him which is why he asked you to stop talking.
I used to do this a lot in the past and I wasn’t aware that I was wrapped in my own feeling of unworthiness that required constant validation from those around me. My own ego needed approval, control and safety and expecting that from the other person which is defined as dependency. I used to only focus on what’s not working looking for more evidence that I was not appreciated enough taken for granted etc. I could only see this after enough time has passed and I can clearly and objectively see what I was doing and be accountable for that. I was blaming others and saw myself as a victim.
My recommendation is to stop the usual pattern that puts you in the victim mode. Don’t go to him – let him come to you. Anytime a critical thought crosses your mind – delete it with discipline. For example, a thought like “I am sitting here in silence feeling unwanted” is destructive. Most couples sit in silence doing their own thing and that doesn’t mean they are unwanted by the other.
Lastly and honestly, if I were to look at myself as a person having these kinds of judgemental thoughts about myself and my partner, and then behaviors like choosing to leave and then expecting a kind hearted text, I would have to admit that I would be repelling and boring to anyone who’s around me. If someone distances themselves from you, please don’t disturb them again (with words needing validation or control or behaviors like leaving ad hoc because of frustration).
Spend time working on cleaning up your state of being having more optimistic view and do things out of pure love and gratitude without expecting anything in return. Most of your current behaviors come from ego that wants validation, control and safety and security. This is something you must get for yourself before expecting others to give it to you. Most people want freedom to grow and thrive in a relationship and not be chained to other expecting them to fix something internal to you that only you can fix.
You could be totally right and he could be a total jerk for the way he behaves – not giving him any credit here but focusing solely on you and what you can do for yourself to feel better and choose more wisely. Once you fix this your partner can change totally or a new one comes in that matches the new version of you.
He is playing a game. He didn’t text you purposely because he was mad u left. In his mind if he texts you, he loses the competition
Give him some space. If he reconnects you can ask him what I’m that was all about. Otherwise, leave it and him alone.