He (M28) confessed to me (F28) that he is in a relationship. I was the sidechick.

r/

So i met this dude online 2 mos ago and we hit it off like, i really speaking to him and he was so nice! We talked non stop every chance we get! He also comes near my place to hangout. He gave me his real name but i never bothered to search anything about him maybe i trusted too much. I have been repeatedly asking him if he really is single and has no child or whatever and he kept saying he is single with no family.

He said that he loves me. I know to myself that I do not feel the same way yet but i really really like his presence and my mood brightens whenever he is around. So i probably got also attached to him. However, i think his conscience is eating him up so he confessed that he is in a relationship (he’s not married and he says his rel is a lost cause as per him) and also has a child!

I was so shookt I wanted him to explain, I wanted answers as well! Like why? It just sucks that i didnt know his socials (i tried to search it to at least tell his live in partner but i cannot find it!). He said that he really fell for me but i was so mad, and traumatized as this is the first time that I experienced this. He wants to at least have a proper talk and end things amicably but i just cant. But my inner self still wanna hear his side, and at least get some answers :(. I know to myself that I will not be engaging with him anymore after all this. But my mind is bothering me with questions about what is he going to say for himself. He is asking that I give him a chance to at least explain.

Now i am having a dilemma if i still wanna hear his side for my peace of mind before we permanently part ways.

Comments

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  2. fanfan5556 Avatar

    sorry if i were you i would not see him ever again but before that get him to explain everything via text (for evidence)

    act like you’re still considering the relationship so you gain his trust to get more info on his socials and his partner (so you know who to contact)

    and then block him on everything and tell the partner everything then block her too and hopefully you are in a safe place and he doesn’t know exactly where you live and move on from this waste man

  3. Subbuteo13 Avatar

    I wouldn’t. He’s not going to be able to give you the answers you want. He’s already lied to you, you won’t know if he’s lying again, and he’s told you this because he’s hoping you’ll carry on being the sidechick. He’s already given the age old excuse of blaming his infidelity on his relationship.

  4. Ok-Neighborhood-8101 Avatar

    Is his name Jacob 🤣

  5. OrbitsCollide99 Avatar

    There is an assumption of goodwill that people meet to be together – the first time that is not true its a shock to the system. There are a ton of manipulative people and those people will be very good at hiding.

    They simply don’t have morals. You can ask a million questions but that’s all it is. The best thing to learn is to go slow, don’t put up with shitty behaviour, and look at consistent actions and words at all times. You might have some bad luck but more often you’ll be okay. Build a system – write it down and date purposefully.

  6. wishingforarainyday Avatar

    Please get tested and tell his partner because she should get tested too. Don’t stay with this liar who put your health at risk.

  7. Firm_Distribution999 Avatar

    He’s a liar liar lair. You will never get the truth from him. He only wants to manipulate you more. You will not get any clarity or peace from liars. Closure has to come from within. 

  8. SpaceSlothMafia Avatar

    What answers? What could he possibly say that would make this okay? 

    So he can sweet talk you into carrying on? So he cam make himself feel better? It’s only going to leave you feeling worse.

    The only way meeting up would be useful, is to follow him home and tell his partner. That’s it.

  9. OkeyDokey654 Avatar

    I mean, you know the guy is a liar. He’s admitted it. So what’s the point of giving him the opportunity to lie to you some more? Cut the rope and move on.

  10. dandelionsOnFire Avatar

    There isn’t really anything to explain.