My fiancé ‘23 M’ and I ‘22 F’have been on and off dating for almost 10 years 2 years ago we started dating again after a year break and then the next year he proposed. Lately he has been telling me many things I need to work on (which I have been) such as my internal motivation and things of that nature that are due to my depression. He works away from home and does a 2 week stint at work then has 2 travel days and is usually home for 5 days at a time. Well I decided to visit him this time and stay with him while he’s away (he had asked me to) and this evening he seemed off while texting so on our phone call he mentioned that he has this deep feeling of dread whenever he comes home. (Ouch) but then when he sees me it “disappears”. I don’t feel like anything I do will make him happy I’m trying hard but then he almost patronizes me like a child saying “ I’m proud of you “ then after a few drinks he is upset that he has to be “proud of me “ for the steps I’m taking to better myself. I just don’t know what to think or do. What do I do?
TLDR; he said he dreads coming home then is fine when he sees me. I am trying to work on myself and my motivation to improve the relationship but nothing seems to work what can I do?
Comments
Imagine you’re having lunch with your girlfriends and talking about your relationship. Would you be proud to tell them that your fiance dreads coming home to you and resents having to be proud of you when you are improving yourself?
If the answer is no then you need to reconsider marrying him.