I was in an on-and-off relationship with someone who recently broke my heart again. During a FaceTime screen share, he showed me his phone and I saw saved videos and pictures of him being intimate with his ex. He also had photos of women from a dating app saved in his photo album. When I asked about them, he said his friend sent them — but they were clearly saved, not forwarded.
He accuses me of cheating when I’ve been nothing but loyal, but he hides his followers, ghosts me for exactly two weeks at a time, and never takes accountability. He says I’m “antagonizing” him whenever I bring up how hurt I am.
This man once proposed to me, but his actions never matched his words. I’m trying to do a 30-day no contact to detach, but I’m left wondering — was this emotional abuse, immaturity, or just someone who never really cared?
Any advice or similar experiences are appreciated. I feel like I gave my all and was left feeling disposable.
Comments
You should dispose of your burden and find an actual catch.
Off & On relationships are not successful for that very reason. The guy also definitely cheats on you and deflects to manipulate and keep you as “his”.
If a guy shows me pics of another woman in a vulnerable position live nude or having sex that’s an immediate ick. So incredibly disrespectful and inconsiderate. I think it just proves he’s a pretty terrible person. Idk why they do that cuz it’s really not sexy for me. It’s almost like bragging but like to someone they know won’t be impressed. And you know if they are showing her to you they are showing every nude to every person they know. Trust is completely gone.
Bless you, you sound incredibly self aware and intelligent. What he did was gaslighting you by accusing you of cheating and deflecting it on himself. Whenever you tried to express hurt, he took no accountability and took no efforts to change. He did something as big as a proposal with not follow through on his behaviour. He used the idea of commitment to keep you invested without actually going through with it.
You are incredible for leaving him and not contacting him. You don’t need to wonder about him by the way, you are free and saved from this awful man. The truth is he may have cared in a way he is capable of but that doesn’t mean it was respectful or kind or healthy. You deserve someone who cares in a way that values you and are on the same level of emotional intelligence.
You tried and communicated and now you’re doing the most powerful thing. Leaving. If you need closure; maybe journal what happened, write a letter to him and then burn it. If he tries to reach out to you, be prepared and carry on with no contact. Good luck op!