I (F) met a guy (M) on Bumble, and I’m struggling to let go—even though I know deep down I have to. I’d really appreciate any outside perspective because I feel so emotionally stuck right now.
From the beginning, he told me he didn’t see a future or marriage with me—but then he started acting like a boyfriend. We talked every day, shared emotional and physical closeness, and he made me feel like I mattered. He even said things like “You’re my priority” and “I’ll stop talking to other girls”—but he never actually stopped. That part hurts the most.
I was the one putting in most of the effort. I used to travel 3 hours just to meet him, show up at his place, buy him thoughtful gifts—because I genuinely cared. I didn’t ask for too much. Just mutual energy. But I feel like all I gave was taken for granted.
And when I got emotionally invested, he made me feel like something was wrong with me for caring. He’d say things like “Talking every day doesn’t make you special” or “You’re mentally unwell, you need help”—just because I got attached to the intimacy he created. And now that he’s moved to a different city, he’s openly saying he’s trying to hook up with other girls.
What’s worse is that he constantly talks about his ex, saying she was the only one who truly knew how to love him. But she left him too. He never explains why, just puts her on a pedestal and makes me feel like I’m falling short.
The emotional contradiction is breaking me. He told me from the start there was no future—but his actions said otherwise. I still love him, and now he shows up in my dreams. I know I should move on, but the pain is real. I’m grieving what felt like something real, even if it wasn’t mutual.
So I’m asking: if you’ve been here before, how did you let go when your heart still loved someone who didn’t treat you right?
How do you stop holding on to a version of someone that probably never existed?
Thank you for reading.”**
TL;DR:
Met a guy on Bumble who said from the start he didn’t see a future with me, but acted like my boyfriend—daily texts, emotional connection, intimacy. I put in all the effort, but he still talked to other girls and eventually left me saying I have issues. I’m heartbroken and struggling to let go. Was I wrong to believe it meant something?