This past weekend, I (female 26) went to a drag show with some friends in Arizona. During the performance, one of the queens groped my boob. It was completely intentional and totally unprovoked. While there were lap dances happening, I didn’t see anyone else get touched like that.
It was completely humiliating and violating. I froze for about 5 seconds before running to the bathroom. Some friends ran after me and helped me calm down from a panic attack (I really HATE being touched by strangers, it causes me an unreasonable amount of anxiety).
After a few minutes I collected myself and said I was ready to rejoin the group. They walked out first and I followed behind. This is where shit really hits the fan.
On the way back to the group, I passed by the performer who groped me standing in the hall. Trying to remain as calm as possible, I said “hey, that really wasn’t cool. It made me super uncomfortable and you shouldn’t do that to people”. I was still shaking and don’t remember exactly what was said, but I remember them giving the most heartless apology and not really seeming to give a shit- which sent me into a rage. Not proud of this but I flipped them off and walked away. They proceeded to yell “fuck you bitch” and I just kept my finger in the air as I walked away. As I entered the main event space, the performer grabbed the mic and asked that I be escorted out of the facility. I walked out without making a fuss.
One of the girls in the group spoke with the manager and they told her that should never have happened and the performers don’t have the authority to kick people out. They also said they would try to get us a refund, but I haven’t heard anything yet.
Now here is what I need advice on- what the heck do I do? My dad wants me to file a police report and I was considering contacting a lawyer but both those options sound extreme. I know the answer is probably just to follow up with the event venue, but I am curious to know what other people would have done in this situation. I really hate to see the performer just get away with this.
A few other notes
• I totally respect the drag queens, I feel like that’s important to say.
• I had a few drinks and was pretty tipsy but not drunk.
• my clothing was appropriate but I had a little cleavage showing
• there was no mention of touching at the start of the show or on the website description
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Backup of the post’s body: This past weekend, I (female 26) went to a drag show with some friends in Arizona. During the performance, one of the queens groped my boob. It was completely intentional and totally unprovoked. While there were lap dances happening, I didn’t see anyone else get touched like that.
It was completely humiliating and violating. I froze for about 5 seconds before running to the bathroom. Some friends ran after me and helped me calm down from a panic attack (I really HATE being touched by strangers, it causes me an unreasonable amount of anxiety).
After a few minutes I collected myself and said I was ready to rejoin the group. They walked out first and I followed behind. This is where shit really hits the fan.
On the way back to the group, I passed by the performer who groped me standing in the hall. Trying to remain as calm as possible, I said “hey, that really wasn’t cool. It made me super uncomfortable and you shouldn’t do that to people”. I was still shaking and don’t remember exactly what was said, but I remember them giving the most heartless apology and not really seeming to give a shit- which sent me into a rage. Not proud of this but I flipped them off and walked away. They proceeded to yell “fuck you bitch” and I just kept my finger in the air as I walked away. As I entered the main event space, the performer grabbed the mic and asked that I be escorted out of the facility. I walked out without making a fuss.
One of the girls in the group spoke with the manager and they told her that should never have happened and the performers don’t have the authority to kick people out. They also said they would try to get us a refund, but I haven’t heard anything yet.
Now here is what I need advice on- what the heck do I do? My dad wants me to file a police report and I was considering contacting a lawyer but both those options sound extreme. I know the answer is probably just to follow up with the event venue, but I am curious to know what other people would have done in this situation. I really hate to see the performer just get away with this.
A few other notes
• I totally respect the drag queens, I feel like that’s important to say.
• I had a few drinks and was pretty tipsy but not drunk.
• my clothing was appropriate but I had a little cleavage showing
• there was no mention of touching at the start of the show or on the website description
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
The question is what you do you want from the situation? Do you want financial compensation? The performer to suffer legal consequences? Lose their job?