I (35f) have fallen head over heels with my coworker (38m). Have you ever met a man who just a walking green flag? Also he feels like soul mate material. I don’t even know if I believe in this type of stuff, but he makes me want to because of how much I feel about him. We have so many things in common. It’s like crazy. In the past when I’ve liked someone, I feel like I have weird interests and I’ve always conformed to the other person’s interests, but with him I don’t have to because we like the same things. And all of a sudden I’m not weird anymore. And this is going to sound stupid but I make weird noises in front of him and I laugh out loud with my stupidest laughs and I’m playful the way I’ve seen other people be with their SO but I never am because I’ve experienced abuse and have PTSD around that but with him I’m able to be all that and not be scared. And it’s probably because we started out as friends. But then it snowballed…and I’m buried under the avalanche of him. And everyone says he feels the same. They tell me it’s so obvious that he does. But it’s been 8 months now. And he’s been straightforward about how he doesn’t date coworkers because he doesn’t “sh!t where he eats”. (A phrase that broke my heart when he said it, but I had to let it go because I can’t expect things because we’re just friends and I have to just love with this pain of unrequited love because even if he doesn’t feel anything he is the epitome of a green flag of a man and he’s an amazing friend and even though the love portion of my heart is breaking the friendship portion is ecstatic). But EVERYONE insists he feels the same and is just timid because I’m a coworker and he’s wary.
But think I need to just move on. I think it’s time. I think he’s made it clear in my mind that he will never date me…even if he did like me which I don’t think he does…I don’t think he’ll ever date me.
How do I move on? How do I stop loving him as more than a friend?
TLDR
How do I move on from a coworker I fell in love with who doesn’t want me the way I want him?
Comments
I mean, not dating coworkers is a very good and very practical rule to have, especially if one of you is senior over the other or there’s any HR policy about it. On the other hand, it seems like you’re jumping to conclusions that he isn’t interested in you and are moving on from him without giving this a chance- have you ever asked him to hang out outside of work or done anything that would give him the idea that you like him? It feels like you’re assuming a lot without ever having communicated honestly with this guy.
Girl, nobody’s opinions matters but his. Stop feeding into it.
If he was the love of your life, you’d be dating and in love together. If he likes you that much he would ask you out. Stop fantasizing about what isn’t there.