What’s the secret to just having a fun night of fucking? I’m social, take care of myself. I can’t close the deal. I’m chatting up ladies and we have a great 10-20 minute convo. I don’t know how to transition and unfortunately the ladies don’t try either. It’s there in the smile so I’m close but I need that subtle advise. Thank you!
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Volunteer a venue change
“Hey wanna take this back to my place where it’s a bit more intimate/quiet?” If it’s a straight no then you’ve got your answer and saved some time.
Bro, this is reddit. I don’t think you’re going to get the advice you’re looking for around here.
What’s your approach? Sometimes I try to be smooth with it. Oftentimes I just shoot it straight and tell my dates “let’s head back to your/my place.”
They don’t want to fuck. They want to meet someone for a serious relationship.
LOL maybe you need to improve your game then, more for the rest of the gents.
If you’re getting really strong signals from the girl, “It’s so loud in here, maybe we can go back to mine and hang out just you n me”. If she’s sending some signals but it’s not blatant. “The music is getting good, wanna go dance?” and then escalate via the dance floor. If it’s just friendly banter and flirtation, plus not a venue where you can do much else except chill or drink, snag her number.
Ask them if they want to go to your place to see your warhammer minis collection. You’ll have closes the ladies so hard they’ll want to stay and make you breakfast, and then when you try to kick them out you’ll have to call the cops and get a restraining order.
Assuming you’re talking about at a bar?
10-20 mins isn’t really enough imo, maybe if it’s later. You should be able to get somewhat physical, whether that is touching their leg, arm around them. Dance to build out the time, again touching, go for a make out, then ask them to leave.
Women will rarely lead, touching is the main barrier physically, you have to get there to show physical interest. If you’re scared, you’re a friend
You’re chatting, but are you touching at all? Nothing weird—a light jokey punch to the shoulder after she tells a bad joke, a touch on the thigh when your sitting down, small of the back when you’re walking through a crowd (or offer your hand if you’re leading so you don’t get separated).
Again, nothing weird. Light, quick, and done with—these little breaks of the touch barrier should feel completely natural. And of course, only when the vibe is there. Similarly, if they’re finding reasons to touch you, you can assume they’re at least somewhat into you. That should give you an extra boost when you’re not feeling confident about making a move.
I always felt like getting a convo going was the hardest part. If they’re “giving you the eyes” like you say, they might just be sensing apprehension on your end, and a lot of women have worse fear of rejection than men do. Eyes might be all you get. If you’re reading something there, find an excuse to sit a little closer, let your leg rest against theirs.
See how she reacts. If she’s not reciprocating or seems uncomfortable, back off—you have your answer. If she’s leans in and mirrors your body language, just go for a fuckin kiss and hold her, play with her hair, yada yada. From that point on, you’re pretty much in business.
What fo ya say to breakfast in the morning?
I’ve found that “you’re hot, wanna fuck?” Is a very good way of letting her know exactly what’s on your mind. You’ll get slapped or she’ll sleep with you. Either way you know and can move forward. It’s tough to bring yourself to say the first time but it’s easier after that. DON’T MAKE IT THE FIRST THING YOU SAY!!! But if you’ve been talking for 10-20 minutes already and you think she’s into you then take the chance.
Start banging dudes.
Just get their number and take them on a date. Not every woman puts out from a first interaction. Sometimes I used to get a number and let them go And just text them like an hour later to meet me or come back to my place if I’m being a chickenshit and get scared to ask in person
Read Models by Mark Manson. It’s a great book for men trying to figure all this out.
You need to just be upfront. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, you both know you are chatting because you are sexually attracted to each other. Just say “I mean no disrespect, but you want to go hook up” or whatever terminology makes it a little less awkward. “Im not a creep and if you want I’ll walk away and leave you alone, but right now I’m looking to get laid”
A smile isn’t enough body language to say “I wanna bang.” You’ve got a lot of good suggestions here but maybe wrap it up and ask if they want to hang out again, get their number and ease into it. Trust me when a girls looking for an ONS their behavior and body language is much different than you describe.
First step. Change your mentality. Nothing will get you laid less than being the guy thats actively trying to get laid and expects a one night stand just cuz you talked to a girl. She probably talked to a dozen guys that night and didnt sleep with any of them. Just be yourself, dont be creepy, ask her questions and listen to her answers and respond with follow ups, and try to make her laugh. If she thinks your funny, she thinks your cute. Change of venue is also key, saw that mentioned, but not your house, I always asked if they wanted to go play pool at this other local bar a few blocks away. If she goes, she probably has some interest. Invite her friends too so shes more comfortable. Good luck and god speed out there my friend. We’re all pulling for you.
Ask her back to your place and then find a reason to touch her non sexually. After that it should be pretty natural.