I (19f) am having difficulty socializing or communicating in general. People around me seem to know how to use their words when conversing with others. When I was 13 years old, I was excluded from groups, conversations, and sometimes bullied, which is why I am afraid to talk to people. My boyfriend and one friend who I spoke with about this issue said, “Just do it,” but I really can’t. When Im speaking to other people, I always overthink everything I do. For example, what if I speak too quickly and they didnt understand, so I have to repeat myself, or what if I speak too slowly and they get bored with me?
My college life begins in September. I have been practicing, writing scripts, and talking to myself in front of the mirror, but how can I confidently socialize with others if I cant even move on from the past and is afraid of the future?
Comments
Try slowly building up to more social things. Start with just saying morning to someone random or if that is too much take it even slower, if not you can try therapy if there is unresolved trauma? And the important distinction now is that you are not trapped like you were when you were younger you can walk away if it gets too much. If you have any hobbies or interests you can try joining groups on those and just observe you don’t have to participate. Every step is a good step as long as it is in the right direction 🙂
I totally understand this as I have had many years working on my own anxiety. When I was around 27 years old, and had my first child I finally talked to my doctor about getting help for my anxiety. If I’m honest, I still struggle with socializing. I overthing everything, then mess up when I talk because I overthink it.
Practicing, writing scripts, and talking to yourself in the mirror are all great ideas that I should try myself! Have you thought about talking to a doctor about your anxiety? It might be another tool in a toolbox that can be used.
I like the advice that _Parad0x_ gave. Starting small and building from there is a great idea! Also, starting with any hobbies or interest groups is a great idea!
Good luck! Every step you make is helping you to get where you’re going!