Hi everyone,
I’m a Black woman in Seattle, Washington, trying to get my children back after years of being silenced by my adoptive parents — who are both licensed medical professionals. I’m posting here because I urgently need advice, legal referrals, or even just validation. I’m drowning in this process.
Background:
• I lost custody of my kids in a guardianship case based in Yakima, WA, which started during my early recovery from trauma and substance use.
• The original reason was that I was smoking weed, despite being their full-time, safe parent.
• I’ve now been sober for over two years, completed 1.5 years of intensive treatment (which I enrolled in voluntarily), and have done everything asked of me.
• Despite this, they are now trying to terminate my rights and adopt my kids — and I’ve never signed any papers.
The Current Situation:
• I’ve been alienated from my children since Christmas — no contact, no phone calls.
• They recently filed a DV restraining order against me for another year, even though I haven’t had any interaction with them for months. There was no violence. The last disagreement was me refusing to take a non-court-ordered drug test at their house.
• My adoptive mother (a counselor) continues to falsely claim I have borderline personality disorder, even though multiple psychologists have confirmed I only have PTSD.
• They are holding the case in Yakima County (a known sundown town) and refusing to transfer it to Seattle, where I now live. This has left me with no real legal support or access to services.
Other Issues:
• They’ve also been illegally filing my tax returns for six years, claiming both me and my children when I was their sole caregiver and financially independent at the time.
• I’m now being told that they want me to stay in treatment or monitored housing for 3–4 more years, even though I already completed a full program and am in permanent housing now.
• This process has devastated my mental health, finances, and sense of safety. I feel completely erased as a mother. It’s like I’m being punished for surviving.
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What I Need:
• Legal referrals in WA State (especially someone who understands guardianship, contested adoption, DV orders used for control, or discrimination against Black mothers).
• Advice on how to get a case moved counties or appeal.
• Has anyone fought something like this and won?
• Any resources for adopted adults trying to reclaim custody from adoptive families?
I’ve done everything I was supposed to. I’m clean, housed, stable, and strong. I just want my children back — and I feel like the system is making that impossible.
Any help is appreciated.
Comments
I’m confused. Weed is legal in Washington. How could they take you children for that?