I (32f) want to leave my boyfriend (33m) but I have no idea if my vision of leaving makes sense financially.
For context we have two small children (5 & 1.5) and have been together for 7 years.
I want to make sure I have enough money saved up for a deposit on a house/apartment and everything else that comes with moving into my own place.
I know I can afford to live on my own (with the kids) and I have about $3000 saved up for when I do get the nerves to leave. I also have a credit card in case I have to leave earlier than I plan to. I just feel like I may be missing some expenses?
So far I’m budgeting to make sure I’ll have enough to afford a deposit on a place, furniture and groceries to supply a bare kitchen, pots, pans all that jazz.
I’m mainly looking for advice on what expenses could come up when I go through this transition with two small kids. Please open my eyes, haha.
TL;DR looking for unexpected finances when leaving a spouse
Comments
You might want to ask in r/personalfinance or another financial sub.
Good luck!
I’m not sure how it works when you’re not married, but I assume he would have to provide child support to you if you have the kids? Would he prevent you from leaving with them or try to sue for custody? Legal expenses in that case
Best advice I can give you, is don’t sweat the money too much. If you know you have housing and groceries and transport to work/schools covered, then you can figure out the rest.
It’s amazing how much cheaper life is when you don’t have the manage and mediate someone else’s BS. My was ex was constantly telling me I’d be poor/destitute if I left. Turned out budgeting was really easy if you weren’t partnered to someone who expected brand-name clothes, eating out several times a week, and dumping hundreds into a new hobby every other month. I had no trouble living frugally for a bit and I was so much happier being poor without him, then being “comfortable” with him.
I hadn’t saved enough, and I took on about 4k debt to leave. Best money I ever spent, but, I wisely/luckily was able to do it on a bank line of credit with super low interest. Way better than a CC (unless you have a generous 0% period).
Make sure you have your and the kids’ paperwork in order. Know exactly what shared things your name is on. Contracts, references, credit score, medical documents. Make copies of everything you might need. Things you may need to provide to access services or to complete a rental application.
I don’t know where you live but with only 3000 in savings how can you buy a house, furniture, etc.?