I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend has a ex with her 9 yeo daughter. he constantly abuses her when we only get 1 day off a month. Just blowing up her phone to the point that she gives me her phone to ‘deal with it’. She has no spine and just allows him to talk to her this way. I cannot contend. There is no reasoning with this guy. I tried being nice and now I am frustrated and super angry. It makes me so sad to see this happen, but even with my interventions the guy won’t stop. Thoughts?
Help please on my marital state?
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Dude, what are you doing? This chick doesn’t even like you
You would probably get better answers in the sub r/stepparents.
She needs to disengage. He will continue to harass her via text so long as someone keeps replying to her. Unless it’s about scheduling him to come pick up the kid, she should have zero communication with him. And you never should.
Grey rock him.
Your girlfriend would do well to learn assertiveness training. See if there’s a class or a therapist specializing in it. This is not your battle. You can support your girlfriend in learning how to take better control of her own life but she’s the one who needs to handle it. She’s probably spineless with you too
You need to encourage her to be proactive and stop being the victim. She needs a custody agreement and a no contact order of some type. Save texts, record conversations, and gather evidence of his abusive behavior. If she won’t agree to do that, pack up and let them have each other because you’re going to be in the hell of being caught between his vindictive abusive behavior, and her acceptance of his dominating her life. She’s probably afraid to escalate, and he knows this. Use the courts to start putting him on notice that things are different.
H can we buy treat he that way if he has access to her. You can set up an app along with a custody agreement that they only communicate through the app. My ex was bitter and tried to be verbally abusive but If say call me back when you can talk to me like a decent human being. At one point we did talk for two years just communicated through the app for drop offs and pick ups. Bring a step parent is harder than being a patent especially when the ex is an asshole.