So I have been using google AI for help and it says to discreetly donate or give away but it can’t be. Unfortunately it will cause some tension and even unwanted attention.
I will try to make the long story short. We have been married for 20 years and our children are 6 and 2. Dealt with some infertility issues for 7 years so more than blessed to have our little boy and girl. We have been very generous and mae peace with my in laws. My mil and fil have been divorced now about 18 years. Sil is closer to the mil but still single in her mid 40s. She is unable to sustain a relationship for more than 3 months. Mil re married to someone… that has more wealth now I will just put it this way. I have never minded their life style. They picked it and they live it. So problem seems to start coming up more than before when our children arrived. I feel like they are entitled and this past year completely disrespecting and causing a lot of drama with us in the way of how we raise the children because they “know better” and my mil is in the “redo” state. Either way, we were quite open and have super loose to no boundaries with them as if it makes them happy we are happy right. But little did I know I was dealing with toxic, manipulative, guilt tripping mil and sil. I tried to set 2 boundaries. 1 is that there will be a drop off and pick up time ( in fact the mil got on to both of us a week before when she demanded to babysit and that she didn’t know it was going to be a late night, meaning my mil is eating dinner with our children and can’t make plans to eat out with oir step fil) And we again and again told her to let us know. With the technology nowadays just shoot us a message. We will come and pick up the children and plus we didn’t have any plans. My husband and I planned to go out because mil wants to babysit. So second boundary was I would like to be informed when decision are made for the children. When she is planning to have a plan. Message us and let us decide. My mil is just thinking it would upset us or whatever she is thinking so she decided on her own what she should do with our children. She even left my 2 year old daughter with her husband (step fil) while she has to go pick up my son from school. (Note: that day she also insisted on babysitting) I am a stay at home mom by the way. Anyway… after I mentioned I want to set some boundaries that we aren’t seeing eye to eye. She keep mentioning she doesn’t understand and that she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. So mil wants to talk about it instead of texting. I replied that would be easier and called her after a few minutes. She hung up and didn’t answer, texted me back immediately saying she would prefer to sit down and talk in person and include my husband. I also agreed and replied it would be better. Either way, after this… Mil never got back to me and clear anything. Just spreading the confusion that I was being completely unreasonable because of she left my daughter with my step fil because that is the only time my children wasn’t being watched by her. Yes, it gotten big like she is willing to call her husband a pedo instead??? Sil also spreading the confusion. We had to go through therapy. My husband and I were having suicidal thoughts. It was bad. So I have limited contact and cut off my mil. She isn’t allow one or one alone time with my children. Hence she went crazy because her need of control is so big that she is willing to hurt instead of solving anything.
I just found out today she bought another portal (facebook messager) photo frame looking things on Amazon. She bought us one 5 years ago and my older son would call her whenever back then. We told her we lost it because I am limiting contact with her. This new portal is arriving in the next few days. She is insisting on talking to my children and no! To be honest, no one calls my children without calling me or my husband first, my parents, my actual fil. So I might be wrong but I might be right, my mil is trying to eliminate the parental control and have pretty much eventually unlimited access to talk to my children. And my children will use the portal without me knowing I guarantee especially my son is now almost 7 and he can use those things pretty darn well. And my mil is really good at manipulating him and play she is top favorite over mommy kind of thing. To be honest I read AI google and it doesn’t suggest returning it because it asks for a reaction or something. I donate it or sell it just so wasteful!!!! Why does she put us in this position. Yeah and of course,they don’t even ask. We are about to deal with a backpack that my sil bought without asking that is also arriving in a few days. My son already picked one that he wants for school. But backpack and with sil is less troublesome . Would like some advice on this portal with my mil please. Thank you in advance