There are few things more sacred than a family snack session at the mall. It’s a moment of peace in the chaotic jungle of consumerism. But that peace can be shattered in an instant by the appearance of the final boss of any public outing: the hovering, unaccompanied child with their eyes locked on your food.
Our story begins with a mom, her boyfriend, and their two young kids enjoying a bag of roasted chestnuts. A perfect, cozy scene. And then, he appears. A 10-year-old boy, seemingly without parents, who starts circling them like a tiny, snack-seeking shark.
The mom admits she’s not a huge fan of other people’s kids, which, honestly, is a mood. Still, she gave him a polite smile. But the kid had a game plan. He went over to her six-year-old son, whispered something in his ear, and then, with the son’s nod of approval, walked right up to the mom and reached for a chestnut. Bold move.
This is where Mama Bear mode engaged. She pulled the bag away and told him, “no, you have to go ask your parents.” A perfectly reasonable, responsible, and frankly, necessary response. You have no idea if this kid has allergies, or if his parents have rules about taking food from strangers. She did the right thing.
But her boyfriend, apparently auditioning for the role of Captain Save-A-Snack, decided this was the moment to undermine her completely. He called her rude and handed a chestnut to the boy anyway. In one move, he demolished the boundary she had just set and taught both the strange kid and his own children that “no” doesn’t really mean “no” if you just find the weaker link.
And what happened next is a shock to absolutely no one. The kid, now emboldened and knowing who the soft touch was, came back and, without a word, snatched two more chestnuts from the bag the boyfriend was now holding. He learned his lesson, alright. The lesson was that being polite gets you one, but snatching gets you two.
This is when the mom had officially had enough. She stood up and firmly told the kid, “sorry but you can’t take our stuff like that, go to your parents.” The kid, finally faced with a consequence, put the chestnuts back and ran off. The crisis was averted, but the real problem was still sitting right next to her.
The boyfriend actually tried to argue that the kid “trusted us because we had kids ourselves” and that she was just being selfish. Let’s be very clear: that is some of the most naive, dangerous logic I have ever heard. You don’t teach your children to blindly trust strangers just because they also have kids with them. You teach them about boundaries and safety.
This was never about a few chestnuts. This was about a mom trying to teach her children a multitude of crucial life lessons in one go. Lesson one: “No” is a complete sentence. Lesson two: You are not obligated to share with anyone, especially a stranger who is being pushy. Lesson three: We do not take things from people without asking. Lesson four: Your parents are a team who will protect you and your boundaries.
Except, they aren’t a team. Her boyfriend completely failed that test. He prioritized the feelings of a random, rude child over supporting his partner and teaching his own kids a valuable lesson. He wasn’t being kind; he was being a pushover, and he was teaching the kid that being pushy pays off.
So, is she the ahole? Not even in the same universe as the ahole. She’s the only one who was actually parenting in this situation, not just her own kids, but the rude kid and her clueless boyfriend, too.