We’ve all seen some pretty wild wedding demands on the internet, but this one might take the crown. Everyone wants a “magical moment” when they walk down the aisle, and sure, the cost of a dream wedding is enough to make anyone want to weep into their Pinterest board. But most people cut the guest list or swap the champagne for prosecco. One bride on Reddit chose a different strategy: she tried to treat her older brother like a personal ATM with a very high withdrawal limit.
The Original Poster (OP) is a 23-year-old mother who is working hard to get her history degree online while raising her daughter. Her fiancé works in a lab, and while they live comfortably, they don’t have the massive pile of cash required to fund their “dream wedding” right now. Enter her 28-year-old brother, who is a hospital doctor married to another hospital doctor. In the OP’s mind, the fact that her brother is “well off” and hasn’t had the “struggles” of raising a child means his bank account should basically be her wedding fund.
She recently sat her brother down and asked for a little financial help. To his credit, the brother offered her £5,000. Now, in what world is five thousand pounds not an incredibly generous gift? Most people are lucky if their siblings buy them a nice toaster or a set of towels. But the OP wasn’t just surprised; she was offended. She truly believed that because he’s a doctor, he should be doing way more for her big day.
When the OP’s brother had the nerve to say “no” to the £20,000 request—which, for the record, is a life-changing amount of money for most people—the OP didn’t just walk away. She made her annoyance “clear.” She actually told her brother that his refusal to pay for her party was “selfish.” Let that sink in for a second. Refusing to hand over twenty thousand pounds of your hard-earned money for someone else’s party is now considered a character flaw.
But wait, it gets even more savage. The OP then hit him with the ultimate ultimatum: if he doesn’t cough up the cash, he is officially uninvited from the wedding. Her logic is that it “isn’t her fault” she doesn’t have the money, so therefore, he is obligated to provide it if he wants to see her say “I do.” It’s a total sh!tshow of logic that basically treats a wedding invitation like a ransom note.
The rest of the family is apparently contributing to the wedding, which in the OP’s eyes makes the brother’s refusal “even worse.” She has been ignoring his calls since their argument, acting as if he’s the one who committed a major social sin. Her father is trying to play peacemaker, telling her she’s being too harsh, but the OP is genuinely confused. She literally asked the internet, “Am I missing something here?”
Yes, honey. You are missing everything. You are missing the fact that £5,000 is an enormous gift. You are missing the fact that your brother being a doctor doesn’t make his money yours. And you are definitely missing the point of a wedding, which is supposed to be about love and commitment, not about how much “tribute” you can extract from your relatives based on their career choices.
The idea that he’s “selfish” for wanting to keep the money he earns from literally saving lives in a hospital is beyond bullsh!t. Just because he doesn’t have children doesn’t mean he has a “surplus” that belongs to the rest of the family. He and his wife probably have their own goals, their own debts, and their own future to plan for. They aren’t “freeloading” on life just because they decided to be child-free.
Threatening to ban your brother from your life because he won’t pay for your “dream” is the fastest way to turn that dream into a nightmare. If the OP moves forward with this, she isn’t just losing a donation; she’s losing a brother. No amount of floral arrangements or fancy catering is worth destroying a family relationship over a check.
So, is she the ahole? Is that even a question? YTA. Big time. The OP needs to apologize, take the £5,000 (if it’s even still on the table after her stunt), and plan the wedding she can actually afford. If she wants a £20,000 upgrade, she can save up for it like everyone else. Expecting a “magical moment” on someone else’s dime isn’t a fairy tale; it’s just plain greedy.
What’s the most outrageous thing a “Bridezilla” has ever asked you for? Would you still give the £5,000 after being told it wasn’t enough, or would you take that money and go on a very nice vacation of your own? Let us know in the comments!
She’s the AH. She called him Selfish, not realizing she is the selfish one. Sometimes people SHOULD BE a good SELFISH, like her brother because, he is looking out for himself and his wife. She is selfish in a bad way because she wasn’t gracious about the $5000. Not only that, but she she’s trying to blackmail him for $15,000 more by saying he can’t come to her wedding if he doesn’t pay her. Half of their money is money the wife has earned too. She doesn’t know what his bills are or his bank account is
Is. Maybe all he has is $20,000., but if he has $100,000, it’s His and he is not obligated to give you anything. $5000 is a great offer. The reason you don’t have the life you wanted and the money you wanted IS your FAULT
Because you are the one who didn’t use daily birth control pill when you gor pregnant and then you didn’t give her up for adoption or get an abortion, so you made thise choices and you love your daughter and need to stop blaming others. Have a smaller wedding you can afford. Call your brother and apologize for being an AH and not being appreciative of the $5000.
YTA! You sound like a totally spoiled brat, with delusions of grandeur. Your brother graciously offers you 5K, but that wasn’t enough for you, so you demand 20K from him?
Your brother is not required in any way, shape or form to support a lifestyle you want to portray yet cannot afford on your own.
Your brother was not the cause of any of your like choices (having a child, not going to college full time, delaying your career, etc.). Those were all choices YOU made. Now, it appears you think your brother should fund your wants and wishes because of these choices. What will you be demanding next…a big house, a new car, vacations twice a year?
I sincerely hope your brother has the common sense to rescind ANY offer of funds (even the 5K that you were not smart enough to graciously accept. I will tell you this: had you done that to me, you would NEVER see another penny from me…EVER!
I would hope that after reading the responses to your story you would have the common sense to call your brother and apologize profusely for how completely out of line your demands were. I would also suggest that you prepare yourself for his response. If he does rescind the 5K offer, you have no one to blame but yourself!
I think it takes some pretty big cajones to expect your wealthy brother to basically pay for your “dream wedding”. How entitled is this woman? Go to the courthouse, have a friend get ordained online and do it in the backyard of someone’s home with a potluck. Or, they can wait until they can afford it. It’s not the brother’s problem that she chose to have a child and not go to college when she was younger instead. If I were the brother, I’d go NC with her over this whole thing.
You. Are. Not. Entitled. To. Your. Brothers. Money. Just because they are doctors does not mean they are rich, they would have crippling student loans to pay off. Unless it’s an emergency, you don’t ask for money, you either take out a personal Loan. Or you save then pay for the wedding you can afford.