Being a surrogate is quite literally the ultimate sacrifice a person can make for someone else. People usually pay tens of thousands of dollars for the complex medical and legal process of having another person carry their child. Agreeing to be a surrogate completely for free is a level of generosity most families could only dream of. But one woman on Reddit is currently learning that no good deed goes unpunished after setting a very reasonable boundary for her delivery room.
The Original Poster is a thirty year old woman who stepped up to the plate in a massive way for her older sister. The thirty four year old sister has been with her husband for about six years and has always dreamed of starting a family. Tragically, she received a devastating infertility diagnosis about three years ago. After searching for external surrogates and having absolutely no luck, she desperately turned to her younger sister for help.
Seeing her sibling so heartbroken over the situation, the Original Poster hesitated but eventually agreed to carry the baby. She generously offered to be the surrogate completely free of charge. But before the pregnancy even began, she sat her sister down and laid out one incredibly strict, non negotiable condition for the delivery room.
The condition had absolutely nothing to do with being petty or controlling. The Original Poster is a survivor of a horrific trauma. She was previously taken advantage of by multiple men while purposefully put under the influence. Because of this traumatic history, she made it perfectly clear that she absolutely refused to have any men in the room while she was in the highly vulnerable state of labor. She needed to feel safe during a major medical event.
The sister completely agreed to this boundary from day one. The plan was set for the husband to simply wait outside the delivery room doors until the baby was born. But fast forward to just one single month before the due date, and the entitled brother in law suddenly decided to pick up the phone and start a massive fight.
He called his pregnant sister in law to interrogate her about the delivery room guest list. The Original Poster calmly explained her boundary again. She explicitly told him that she had zero personal issues with him, but having any man around her during childbirth would be extremely triggering for her PTSD. A normal, empathetic person would completely understand this and thank her for growing his child. This guy decided to throw a temper tantrum instead.
He got furious and yelled that she did not have the right to tell him he could not be in the room. He completely forgot that while it might be his genetic child, the Original Poster is the actual medical patient pushing a human being out of her body. When she refused to change her mind, he screamed at her and abruptly hung up the phone like a total toddler.
You would think the sister would immediately step in to defend the woman actively gestating her baby. Instead, she chose the path of ultimate betrayal. Later that exact same day, the sister marched over to the Original Poster’s house and accused her of disrespecting her husband. She claimed she had done a lot of thinking and decided it was unfair to ban the father from the room. She entirely threw her sister under the bus just to appease her loud husband.
The Original Poster rightfully lost her temper and yelled right back. She called her sister cruel and selfish for willingly ignoring the severe assault trauma they had discussed extensively before the pregnancy even started. Unable to handle being called out, the sister retaliated with the most toxic threat imaginable. She coldly declared that she would cut contact for good the absolute second the baby is born.
The Original Poster is now just two weeks away from giving birth to her niece or nephew. Despite the incredible stress, she is refusing to back down from her safety boundary. She is holding her ground and stated she is perfectly fine never speaking to her close minded sister ever again if this is how she is going to be treated.
The internet is collectively raging on behalf of this surrogate and crowning her absolutely not the a**hole. Childbirth is a major medical event, not a spectator sport. The person doing the actual labor holds all the power over who is allowed in that room. The absolute audacity of this couple to demand a free surrogacy and then scream at the victim of a traumatic assault is truly unhinged. Do you think the sister and brother in law went too far? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!