There is a special kind of “step-parent” in this world who seems to exist in a state of perpetual, low-grade rage that their spouse had a life before them. They are the ones who have to be “right” all the time, and who see every single interaction as a power struggle. One 20-year-old college student just got a brutal reminder of this… all because she dared to have a logical flight preference.
Our narrator is a 20-year-old woman who, like many of us, is a seasoned pro at navigating divorced parents in different states. She was planning a trip to see her dad, who is remarried to a woman she describes as, well… rough. The stepmom is the type who “has to be ‘right’ all of the time” and “likes to walk all over people.” We all know the type.
So, Dad is booking the flight. He finds one: Pittsburgh to Greensboro, with a layover in Charlotte. He, being a normal dad, texts his daughter to see if it works.
Now, our narrator isn’t just a 20-year-old kid. She’s a Resident Assistant (RA) at her college, which means she has to be back on campus by a specific time. She’s also had two recent, nightmare travel experiences with missed connections due to weather and mechanical issues. She is, in short, a responsible adult who understands risk.
She sees the layover in Charlotte and immediately, and politely, asks her dad for an alternative. She points out that flying directly to Charlotte is 1) faster, 2) avoids the exact connection she’s worried about, and 3) is 30 minutes closer to his house anyway.
This is not a “demand.” This is not a “tantrum.” This is a smart, logical, well-reasoned suggestion that makes everyone’s life easier. And her dad, a reasonable human, said, “that was fine” and booked the direct flight. All good, right?
Wrong. Enter: Stepmom.
The stepmom waits until she has her stepdaughter alone in a car—a classic ambush tactic. She then asks “out of the blue” why she “requested” a different flight. The student calmly gives her the exact same, perfectly logical reasons.
And the stepmom’s response? To “over power” her and screech the six most entitled words in the English language: “BuT YoU AReNt tHe ONe PaYInG!!”
Ah, there it is. The real issue. This has nothing to do with the flight. This has nothing to do with money (the flights were probably almost identical in price). This has to do with control. This has to do with the fact that the stepdaughter had an opinion, her dad validated it, and the stepmom wasn’t in the middle of the decision.
But this is where our narrator proves she’s a queen. Instead of crying or yelling, she just calmly reminded her stepmom that she is the one who has always pushed her to “speak up more” and “be more communicative.” So, she did. She communicated.
The hypocrisy was so thick, the stepmom just “huffed and called me ungrateful.” Our hero just stayed silent, refusing to “buy into her antics.”
So, is she the ahole for “giving her preferences”? Absolutely not. She’s not “dictating” anything. She was asked for her input, and she gave a logical, responsible, and better answer. The stepmom is the ahole. She’s a controller who is furious that the “speak up” training she’s been pushing actually worked. She didn’t want a “communicative” stepdaughter; she wanted an “obedient” one.
Respond to “you aren’t paying” with “Neither are you!”