Every parent wants to help their kids. We give them a hand, we support their dreams, we offer a soft place to land. But there is a massive, gaping canyon between “supporting” and “funding a race to the bottom,” and one mom on Reddit just hit her limit. And she’s hitting it with an eviction notice.
Our story comes from a 55-year-old mom who, along with her husband, did something most of us can only dream of. When their 31-year-old daughter moved out of state for a grueling MD/PhD program, they bought her a duplex to live in. This wasn’t a gift, but it was the next best thing.
The agreement was simple: the daughter and her 36-year-old partner would pay rent. And not just any rent, a “quite a break on the rent” for the area. This is the setup. A smart daughter in a prestigious program, a supportive family, and a deeply discounted house. What could possibly go wrong?
Enter: the boyfriend. A 36-year-old man who, in the three years they’ve lived there, has only managed to be a part-time bartender. The daughter has had to take “a few pauses” from her doctorate program. Why? Oh, mostly “bad decision making related to the boyfriend” and his endless “get money quick schemes.”
And what, you might ask, is his latest brilliant business venture? What scheme is so promising that it’s worth pausing a literal doctorate for? Breeding bulldogs. Not one or two. Seven. They have seven French bulldogs in a two-bedroom apartment. I can smell this post through my screen.
And here’s the kicker: they can’t even sell the dogs. So this isn’t a “get rich quick scheme.” It’s a “live in a cramped, smelly apartment and go broke” scheme. The mom has tried to counsel them, suggesting the 36-year-old man-child maybe get a full-time job so his partner can, you know, become a doctor. But she “lectures too much,” so now her daughter won’t talk to her.
This is where the story goes from frustrating to a full-blown five-alarm fire. The daughter has taken another pause from her program. This time, to “work” to “catch up on the bills.” The bills that he primarily created. She is actively throwing away her entire future, a future her parents literally invested in, to support this “chap who has no motivation to succeed.”
And the rent? They are now seven months behind. Seven. Months. The parents, who are not the Bank of England, still have a mortgage to pay on this duplex. The mom is, in her own words, “beyond frustrated” and “beyond tired of being taken advantage of.”
So she’s done. She’s evicting them. She’s not punishing her daughter; she’s refusing to enable her. She’s not interested in supporting this two-person, seven-dog race to the bottom.
The mom isn’t a monster. She’s made it clear: her daughter always has a home to come back to, a place to “reset.” She just can’t bring the deadbeat boyfriend. Or the seven dogs.
But the daughter, who is so deep in the fog of this terrible relationship, won’t talk to her. She won’t talk to any relatives or friends, all of whom “see this guy for what he is – a taker.”
So, is the mom the ahole for evicting her own daughter? Let’s be perfectly clear: N-T-A. Not even close. She is a parent who has finally, finally stopped the flow of money and support that was enabling this disaster. This isn’t an eviction. This is a life raft. She’s not pushing her daughter out; she’s trying to save her from the anchor she’s tied herself to.