We have all had those moments where our siblings do something so profoundly questionable that we just have to sit there with our jaws on the floor. Usually, it is something small, like “borrowing” your favorite sweater and returning it with a mystery stain. But for one 23-year-old on Reddit, her sister’s life choices have officially reached a breaking point, and the fallout is threatening to leave a toddler and a pregnant mom without a roof over their heads.
The Original Poster (OP) has been living with her 24-year-old sister for two years. Initially, the sister was the one with the lease, but the OP has since graduated dental assisting school and is making bank. Because she loves her sister and her niece, she has been a literal guardian angel. She pays 75% of the rent, helps with daycare, buys food, and basically subsidizes the sister’s entire life because the father of the first child is a world-class deadbeat who works under the table to avoid child support.
You would think that after struggling so hard with one child and no help, the sister would be extra careful. But nope. She recently sat the OP down to announce that she’s pregnant again. And wait until you hear who the father is. It is the exact same deadbeat from the first time around. And the “reasoning” behind the pregnancy? It is quite possibly the most toxic, chaotic story we have ever heard on the internet.
Apparently, the sister found out the deadbeat was engaged. To “prove a point” to the new fiancé that he was unfaithful, she messaged the girl, got blocked, and then ended up in a hotel room with the guy herself. She sent the proof of their hookup to the fiancé, but the fiancé stayed with him anyway. The only thing the sister actually “proved” was that she could end up pregnant by a man who already doesn’t support the child they already have.
The OP, rightfully, lost her sh!t. She pointed out that the sister can’t even afford her current life without the OP’s financial backing. In a move that has the entire family screaming, the OP delivered a brutal ultimatum: she will not be resigning the lease in five weeks unless the sister gets an abortion. She argued that she refuses to be the one financially responsible for another child born into a mess that was created out of pure spite.
Naturally, the sister is devastated. She called the OP an “evil b!tch” and a horrible person for using housing as leverage. The rest of the family has jumped into the fray too, calling the OP heartless and saying she should at least sign a six-month lease to give the sister time to get her sh!t together. They are even throwing the past in her face, reminding her that the sister let her move in when she didn’t have her own credentials yet.
This is one of those situations where there are truly no winners. On one hand, threatening someone with homelessness over a medical decision is an incredibly “villain” move. It is cold, it is calculated, and it feels like a massive abuse of power. On the other hand, can you really blame the OP for refusing to sign up for another eighteen years of subsidizing a deadbeat’s children because her sister wanted to win a petty argument with a stranger?
The family members who are calling the OP an ahole are notably not offering to pay the rent themselves. It is always easy to be “compassionate” with someone else’s paycheck. If the dad and the aunt are so worried about the sister’s housing, they are more than welcome to co-sign a lease and start venmoing the rent money every month.
The “but she let you live there” argument is also pretty weak considering the OP was paying half the rent and is now paying nearly all of it. There is a huge difference between being a roommate who pays their way and being a permanent financial crutch for someone who keeps making the same life-altering mistakes. The OP isn’t “punishing” her sister; she is simply refusing to participate in a disaster that she didn’t create.
The sister’s “revenge” plan against the fiancé backfired in the most permanent way possible. She tried to ruin someone else’s relationship and ended up tied to a deadbeat for another two decades. It is a tragic, messy situation, but at what point does a sibling get to say “I’m done”? The OP is only 23 years old. She should be starting her own life, not being the primary breadwinner for a household that is growing against her will.
So, is the OP the ahole for the ultimatum? The internet is divided. Some say she is a “savage b!tch” for the abortion demand, while others say she is a hero for finally setting a boundary with an ungrateful sibling. One thing is for sure: that apartment is going to be incredibly awkward for the next five weeks until the lease is up.
What would you do if your sibling expected you to pay for their “spite baby”? Is the housing ultimatum the only way to get the point across, or did the OP take things way too far? Let us know in the comments if you think she should sign the six-month lease or just walk away!
Well, everyone is sh*@#y except OP. Her sister created the drama, not OP. The only thing she is guilty of is not signing on for another child when she’s already supporting the first one. NTA! AT ALL!!
I think they will attempt to make this entirely Your problem as neither Your Dad not Aunt are offering to house them.
You must do what is best for you since no one else will. and sister must do the same. It is her choice and I agree it’s a tough one but she’s the one who made the choice to have sex with the deadbeat so it is only her responsibility. Don’t make her get out. Leave when the lease is up and start your own life. She needs to report deadbeat for evading taxes and no child support and she also needs to find another job that will support her and two kids. Aunt and dad can take them in or pay the rent. Not your circus, not your monkeys.