This Office Narc Reported a Coworker for a Family Emergency, and Now They Want $20 for Her Retirement Gift

There are few workplace moments more awkward than the dreaded “collection envelope” being passed around. It’s a special kind of peer pressure, forcing you to chip in for a baby shower for someone you’ve spoken to twice or a birthday cake for the guy who always burns popcorn in the microwave. But this story is next level. This isn’t just an awkward collection; it’s a demand for a tribute.

Let’s set the scene. We’re at a credit union in Albuquerque. A woman named Donna is retiring next month after 30 long years. And you know what that means: party time. An envelope is making the rounds, and everyone is “supposed to” contribute $20 for her gift. But our narrator is keeping her wallet firmly closed.

And she has every right to. Because Donna isn’t just a coworker. Donna is a narc. Donna is the office snitch, the hall monitor, the person who lives to make other people’s lives miserable. And the narrator has been her target. Twice.

The first offense? Our narrator had her phone out at her desk. Why? Was she scrolling Instagram? No. She was texting her dad, who was in the emergency room. A normal, scary, human moment. Did Donna, a 30-year veteran of the world, walk over and ask if everything was okay? Did she quietly remind her about the phone policy?

Of course not. She sprinted straight to the manager and then to HR. The narrator got a formal write-up. She had to sit through a whole meeting about phone policy, even after explaining her father was in the ER. That alone is enough to earn Donna a lifetime of “no” from the party fund.

But wait, it gets so much worse. The second incident was three months ago. It was the great, unhinged “Yogurt-gate.” The narrator accidentally, accidentally, took Donna’s yogurt from the shared break room fridge. Same brand, same flavor. An honest mistake that has happened to literally everyone on earth.

She realized it halfway through, felt terrible, and immediately went to Donna to apologize and offer to buy a replacement. This is what adults do. But Donna is not a normal adult. Donna had already filed an HR complaint for “theft of personal property.”

I am not making this up. She was forced to sit through another HR meeting. Over a yogurt. A yogurt she had already offered to replace. This woman weaponized Human Resources over a 99-cent dairy snack.

And now, after being formally disciplined for a family emergency and investigated for grand theft dairy, the narrator is being asked to chip in $20 to buy this menace a parting gift. I am screaming.

The best part is the coworkers. Her colleagues are now calling her “petty.” They are telling her it’s the “professional thing to do” and that Donna was “just following the rules.” Are you kidding me? What rule book are you reading? The one written by a soulless, rule-obsessed goblin?

“Taking it personally” is exactly what you do when someone’s actions are a direct, personal, and petty attack. These coworkers are spineless. It is not “professional” to reward someone who has shown you zero professional courtesy or basic human decency.

So, is she the ahole if she doesn’t contribute? Absolutely not. N-T-A. She is a hero. I would take that $20, buy myself a very nice lunch, and toast to the fact that I never have to see Donna or her thieving yogurt again. Good riddance.