Parenting is a constant tightrope walk between teaching your kids to be polite and ensuring they don’t, you know, starve in front of your friends. And sometimes, politeness loses. Especially when your hosts are serving quinoa and arugula to a 5-year-old. One dad on Reddit found himself in this exact predicament, made a decisive move, and now his wife is giving him the silent treatment.
Our narrator (26M), his wife (29F), and their 5-year-old son were invited to a friend’s house for dinner. The friend (30M) also has a 5-year-old daughter. Now, this friend has a “very strict diet,” which usually means they eat at his place. Our narrator doesn’t mind because the friend is an “excellent cook.” Key detail: they hadn’t seen him since the kids were infants. So, this friend is likely oblivious to the dietary habits of actual small children.
For dinner, they were served “salmon with quinoa and arugula.”
Let me just pause here. Salmon. Quinoa. Arugula. For a 5-year-old. I’m sorry, is this a Michelin-star restaurant or a playdate? This is the kind of meal I aspire to eat as an adult, not something I’d expect my toddler to happily devour.
Our narrator’s son is typically a “mild kid” and the “opposite of a picky eater.” But even he was not “vibing with this meal.” He was “picking at his plate, shuffling food,” and trying the salmon, but not liking it. When asked directly, he said, “no, he wasn’t” happy with dinner. Cue the alarm bells.
Our narrator, trying to be polite, attempted the “Haha, kids, right?” gambit and asked if there was “anything else for my son to eat.” And the friend’s response? His daughter just “eats whatever he makes,” so he doesn’t keep “kid food” around the house.
This is where the problem started. Not everyone’s kid is a quinoa connoisseur. And a good host, especially with small children, usually has something on hand. Crackers? Fruit? A piece of bread? Anything.
The wife, for some reason, said it was “fine,” that their son “would be fine.” But our narrator knows his kid. This is the beginning of “hangry.” And they were going to be there for another “hour or two.” A hangry 5-year-old for two hours is a recipe for disaster.
So, our hero made a snap decision. He said their son needed to eat for energy, apologized to the irked host, and left to pick up food. He was gone for about 30 minutes, came back with a Happy Meal, and even ordered “extra fries in case his daughter wanted any” (which, predictably, she wasn’t allowed to have).
Dinner was winding down, his son ate, played, and everything seemed fine. Except for his wife. She was “definitely cold” with him. And when they got home, she told him he was an “azz” at dinner “for no reason.”
He pointed out that his son “would’ve been a monster” otherwise. Her solution? “We would’ve left earlier.” Which, sure, but he solved the problem in real-time, allowing them to stay. He also, correctly, pointed out that if the friend “had been more accommodating, we wouldn’t have been in the situation in the first place.”
She, still inexplicably defending the friend who refused to feed her child, got “offended on his behalf.”
So, is he the ahole? Absolutely not. N-T-A. You are not the ahole. You are a responsible parent who prevented a meltdown. Expecting a 5-year-old to happily eat salmon and arugula is delusional. A good host considers their guests, especially children. Your friend chose his strict diet over basic hospitality. Your wife chose to defend his rudeness over her own child’s hunger. You did exactly what a good dad should do.
You were not the AH. Your host.should not expect.a.five year old unusual food. Not sure I’d have been thrilled.with the menu either. Did the host not have bread and peanut butter? He knew a five yo would be dining so might have considered that.