Paying for your child to go to college is a massive financial privilege. Most students are drowning in loans before they even step foot across the graduation stage. If a parent has the means to cover tuition, it is the ultimate head start in life. But some parents treat their bank accounts like a weapon to control their adult children. One father recently took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong for refusing to fund his daughter’s education, and his blatant favoritism is causing a massive uproar.
The Original Poster is a fifty seven year old successful cardiologist. He has two older sons who are twenty eight and thirty years old. Both of these golden boys followed exactly in their father’s footsteps. They attended medical school, became doctors, and are currently making great money. Naturally, their dad completely footed the bill for their expensive medical degrees without a second thought.
Then there is his twenty one year old daughter named Jane. Jane is not a doctor. When she turned eighteen, she told her parents she simply was not ready for the rigorous commitment of a university education just yet. She wanted to take a gap year to travel the world with her boyfriend and have a little rest before locking down her future.
Surprisingly, her father completely funded this extended vacation. He paid for all of her travel expenses so she could live her life and explore. However, this generosity came with massive strings attached. The dad made Jane promise that when she finally did apply to a university, it had to be for a degree that he deemed personally worthwhile. He casually dismissed her creative interests as just a weird phase she was going through.
Fast forward a year later, and Jane finally got accepted into the university of her choice. The parents were initially thrilled until they looked closely at the acceptance letter. Jane had successfully applied for an English degree. The father was absolutely furious. He felt she went behind his back because she did not choose a STEM major. He literally expected her to look at her two doctor brothers and be motivated to suffer through organic chemistry instead of just being herself.
The cardiologist sat his daughter down and delivered a brutal ultimatum. He bluntly informed her that if she decided to pursue an English degree, he would permanently cut off all educational funding. He demanded she take out her own crippling student loans. Jane understandably broke down in tears. She called him the worst dad ever and rightfully accused him of heavily favoring her brothers.
The dad tried to defend himself by pointing out that he paid for her gap year. He actually tried to equate a few months of backpacking with the astronomical cost of full medical school tuition. Even he was forced to admit in a later update that the travel money did not even come close to matching what he spent on the boys.
You know a parent has completely lost the plot when the favored children start defending the scapegoat. Both of Jane’s older brothers stepped in and told their father he was being completely ridiculous. The fully funded doctors think their dad is being way too harsh and told him he needs to simply support their sister regardless of the major she chooses.
The dad is desperately trying to convince the internet that he is not sexist. He claims he just wants his daughter to have a useful degree so she does not depend on him for the rest of her life. But the internet universally labeled him a massive a**hole. People with English degrees go on to become lawyers, copywriters, authors, teachers, and corporate executives. It is not exactly a useless piece of paper.
Financial blackmail is a terrible parenting strategy. You cannot force your kid to become a carbon copy of yourself just because you hold the purse strings. Jane is a bright young woman who got accepted into her top choice school, and her father should be popping champagne instead of threatening her with debt. If he decides to withhold her tuition out of spite, he should probably get used to his daughter writing some very compelling, highly articulate essays about how much she resents him.