Dating a doctor sounds great on paper until you realize you are dating a walking god complex. There is a certain breed of medical professional who simply cannot leave their stethoscope at the clinic. They need you to know they went to medical school at all times, even when they are just passing the mashed potatoes at a casual family dinner. One woman on Reddit recently found herself in the middle of a bizarre standoff because her thirty two year old boyfriend has an ego the size of a hospital wing.
They have been dating for eight months, which is definitely still the honeymoon phase. When the Original Poster first introduced him to her family and friends, she did the totally normal thing. She told them his full name, mentioned his occupation, and shared a few fun facts about his hometown. Everyone was perfectly polite and welcoming to the new guy in her life.
But months into the relationship, “Justin” started complaining. He was highly offended that her loved ones were referring to him by his actual first name instead of putting “Doctor” in front of it. Let us pause to appreciate the sheer audacity of this complaint. He is dating their daughter, not performing open heart surgery on them in the living room.
The OP found his hangup strange and gently reminded him that while it is his professional title, normal society uses first names in casual settings. His response was absolutely unhinged. He claimed he felt annoyed because “these people” do not know him well enough to drop the formalities. He then laid down a ridiculous rule stating they can only use his first name once he and the OP are married or engaged. Until then, he demands to be formally addressed like a visiting dignitary.
It did not stop at private complaints. Justin started actively correcting her friends and family whenever they dared to speak his given name. He would adopt an aggressive tone and launch into a long, exhausting lecture about how they need to put “Doctor” before his name. He was actively picking fights with the people she loves over a completely fabricated social slight.
The tension finally boiled over during a visit to her parents. Her dad casually called him Justin instead of Dr. Justin. Instead of letting it go like a sane person, the boyfriend started arguing with the father of the woman he is dating. He caused a massive fight in the house, ruining the visit and forcing them to leave early.
In the car ride home, the boyfriend went totally off the rails. He accused the OP of letting her family and friends disrespect him continually. He told her she was at fault for not forcing her parents to bow to his medical degree. The OP stood her ground, telling him his expectations were completely bizarre and unreasonable.
Justin tried to defend his ridiculous behavior by claiming he takes pride in his profession and sacrificed so much to get where he is today. He whined that her family loses nothing by respecting his wishes. But what he fails to understand is that respect is a two way street. You do not demand a formal title in a private home like a cartoon villain demanding loyalty. He even called her an enabler for siding with her own parents over his fragile ego.
Now they are back home, and Justin is giving her the silent treatment. He has gone completely radio silent, walking around with a telling look on his face like a toddler who was denied a lollipop. The OP is left wondering if she and her family are somehow offending him, noting in her edit that they do not have other doctors in the family to compare this to.
Let me be the one to clear this up for her. The OP is absolutely not the ahole. Justin is choosing a hill to die on that is made entirely of his own arrogance. If he wants to be called Doctor so badly, he can go clock in at the clinic and talk to his patients. When you are sitting on your girlfriend’s parents’ couch eating their food, you are just Justin.
Honestly, if I were the OP, I would cure this problem by breaking up with him immediately. What would you do if your partner demanded your parents call them by their professional title? Would you humor them or show them the door? Let us know in the comments if you think Dr. Justin needs a serious reality check!