Dating someone new is all about slowly peeling back the layers and learning their quirks. You figure out their coffee order, meet their quirky friends, and eventually learn what they actually do for a living. But one guy on Reddit recently discovered that his girlfriend has a very spicy secret career, and his incredibly toxic reaction is a masterclass in how to get dumped immediately.
The Original Poster is a thirty two year old man who has been dating his girlfriend, Siobhan, for about six months. For the entire duration of their relationship, Siobhan has been notoriously vague about her career. She would casually mention that she writes and works from home, but she never offered any concrete details about her employer or her daily tasks.
The mystery finally unraveled when one of Siobhan’s friends accidentally let a detail slip during a conversation. The OP latched onto the clue and practically dragged the truth out of her. It turns out Siobhan is a self published author. But she is not writing boring historical biographies or dry self help books. She writes extremely lucrative romance and erotica novels.
She is entirely self sufficient and makes a solid living off her spicy stories. Most supportive partners would be thrilled to find out they are dating a successful independent author. A normal boyfriend would probably just congratulate her and ask if she wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate her success. But the OP immediately took things in a wildly controlling direction.
He immediately pulled out his phone and Googled her legal name. When absolutely zero published books popped up in the search results, he confronted her like a detective interrogating a suspect. Siobhan calmly explained that she writes under a secret pen name to protect her privacy. She firmly stated that nobody in her real life knows the moniker, and she wants to keep it that way to avoid any accidental leaks.
Instead of respecting a very clear professional boundary, the OP threw a massive tantrum. He demanded she hand over the pen name immediately. He accused her of not trusting him, completely ignoring the fact that they have only been dating for six months. Six months is barely enough time to leave a toothbrush at someone’s apartment, let alone demand access to their heavily guarded professional secrets.
Realizing his aggressive demands were not working, the OP tried a deeply creepy manipulation tactic. He put on a nice guy act and told her he just wanted to read her stories so they could act out her deepest sexual fantasies together. Siobhan expertly shut that nonsense down. She bluntly informed him that she writes to satisfy her readers’ fantasies, not her own, and she was still not giving him the name.
This is the part of the story where the OP goes from being a pushy boyfriend to a massive walking red flag. Later that night, while Siobhan was presumably sleeping or out of the room, he attempted to physically break into her laptop to snoop for the pen name. Thankfully, Siobhan is a smart woman who recognized the warning signs. She had already changed her password before going to bed.
Caught red handed and completely locked out of her computer, the OP doubled down on his terrible behavior. He lashed out, whining that she clearly did not trust him. He actually had the nerve to claim he had a fundamental right to know what she writes because it is a sensitive topic. Siobhan was absolutely furious that he tried to violate her digital privacy and rightfully ordered him to leave her home.
As he was walking out the door, the OP delivered the most delusional parting shot in internet history. He confidently told Siobhan that when she eventually calls to apologize to him, he fully expects her to hand over the pen name as part of the apology. Siobhan accurately called him an ahole on his way out, and shocker, she has not called him since.
The OP is now sitting by his phone waiting for an apology that is never going to come. Even his own sister told him he is a massive ahole and needs to grovel for forgiveness. The internet universally agrees with the sister and Siobhan. You do not have a right to snoop through someone’s computer just because you feel entitled to their professional work. Siobhan dodged a massive bullet, and we hope her next erotica novel features a villain who looks exactly like her soon to be ex boyfriend.