Getting pregnant is a beautiful milestone for a couple. But for some bizarre reason society completely forgets that a pregnant woman is still an autonomous human being. Suddenly everyone thinks your midsection is public property. Total strangers want to rub your stomach in the grocery store checkout line. Family members forget personal space exists. But the absolute worst offender in this recent Reddit story is the woman’s own husband. He decided his unborn baby’s bonding time is vastly more important than his wife’s basic bodily autonomy.
The Original Poster is a twenty six year old woman who is currently five months pregnant with her first child. She and her thirty one year old husband are expecting a baby boy and were initially thrilled to expand their family. However the mother to be suffers from an anxiety disorder. She explicitly does not like being touched especially when that physical contact is completely sudden and unannounced. This is a very clear boundary that her partner has known about for a long time.
Once her baby bump started showing the husband threw all of her boundaries right out the window. He started putting his hands on her stomach constantly and randomly. If she asked him to remove his hand he flat out refused. The boundary crossing escalated to a terrifying degree. He would touch her stomach while she was fast asleep. Even worse he started lifting her shirt up to expose her stomach when they were hanging out with family members. Whenever she told him to stop making her uncomfortable he deployed the ultimate manipulative excuse. He claimed it was his son too and he desperately needed his bonding time.
The situation finally reached a boiling point during a casual get together with friends. The wife was hanging out on the front porch with her social circle. Out of nowhere her husband sneaked up behind her and tightly wrapped both of his arms around her belly. Given her anxiety and startle reflex this was incredibly triggering. Her friends were visibly weirded out by the aggressive public display of affection.
Hoping to deescalate the awkward moment the wife quietly whispered to her husband and asked him to let go. Instead of respecting her quiet plea he decided to make a public spectacle. He loudly announced to her friends that they should not mind him because he and his baby were just out there bonding. Treating your wife like a literal human incubator in front of her friends is a fantastic way to ruin an evening.
Having reached her absolute limit the wife finally snapped. She lashed out moved her body away from his grip and firmly told him to stop touching her. The husband somehow looked completely confused by her entirely predictable reaction. He spun around stomped back inside the house and proceeded to pout for the rest of the gathering. He avoided speaking to anyone and made the entire party incredibly uncomfortable.
When the guests finally left the husband completely blew up at his wife. He yelled at her for embarrassing him and claimed he thought his behavior was completely normal. The wife stood her ground and reminded him that she had already expressed how uncomfortable his constant touching made her feel. That is when he dropped a line so incredibly toxic it belongs in a museum. He looked at the mother of his child and stated he was trying to bond with his son and not her.
He then possessed the absolute audacity to tell his pregnant wife to get over herself and stop acting like a sensitive little girl. You do not get to violate someone’s physical boundaries and then call them a sensitive little girl when they finally tell you to back off. Furious at his total lack of respect the wife officially banned him from touching her stomach altogether. He grew even angrier and claimed that was not her call to make.
Actually it is entirely her call. The baby is currently residing inside her physical body. Until that child is born the husband does not get direct access to the baby without the mother’s explicit consent. You cannot bypass a woman’s bodily autonomy just because your DNA is involved. She is a human being and not a piece of Tupperware holding his leftovers.
Like an overgrown toddler the husband immediately ran to his own mother to complain about his mean wife. When the wife called him out for dragging his mommy into their marital dispute he deployed the weakest argument in existence. He pointed out that she sometimes goes to stay with her mom after they fight so what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Leaving a toxic environment to cool off is not the same thing as tattling to your mother because you got in trouble for grabbing your spouse.
The husband is currently demanding a formal apology because she lashed out at him in front of her friends. He owes her a massive apology for treating her like a petting zoo attraction. If he genuinely wanted to bond with his unborn son he would make sure the mother carrying that child felt safe respected and completely comfortable. The internet overwhelmingly agreed that the wife is absolutely not the ahole in this scenario. How would you handle a partner who refused to stop grabbing you? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!