So my parent’s 40th anniversary is coming up and it reminded me of my mom’s ultimate pettiness.
When she and my dad moved in together just before they got married my mom thought she would do the nice wifey thing and wash and fold his laundry. When she finished and put it away she expected my dad to be happy and thankful. Instead he started criticizing the way she folded his stuff. My mom got pissed and said something to the effect of “fine, do it yourself next time”. And he has. For 40 years my mom will always wash her clothes separately. Even if there is only half a load each my mom will sort out her stuff and wash just her stuff, leaving my dad to do his own stuff.
This system seems to have worked out well for them as they are still happily married. It did bleed down through to my brothers and I though. From about age 5 we had to fold and put away our own stuff and by 8 we were using the washing machine on our own.
Happy anniversary mom and dad, stay petty!
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My mother in law mows the lawn at their house because she always had a comment or criticism whenever my father in law mowed. After a few times being criticized, he stopped mowing the lawn. Hasn’t done it in 30 years probably
When my husband and I first moved in together, he did the same thing. I rarely wash anything of his. Other whites. It’ll be 19 years in June.
All these nipping bullshit in the bud tactics are what works.
If everyone did this the AITA subs would lose 43% of content.
Same here! My mom started out doing Dad’s laundry but he didn’t like how she folded it. He would, we’re told, take it out and refold it. And one day my mother said “If you refold that shirt I will never wash your laundry again.”
Nearly thirty years later she kept her word! And after telling my then-boyfriend, now-husband that story, he’s never had an issue with how I fold his stuff 😇
i used to get pissed at my ex’s clothes always being inside out. i understand every now and then something like a tshirt will end up this way. but all of her stuff was like this. always having to turn all her stuff right side out before folding became annoying. i just started folding all her shit inside out.
That’s what we did. Partner doesn’t like doing laundry, I don’t like folding other people’s laundry , especially women’s / girls clothing. Some of it just doesn’t make sense and I get all tangled up.
I was particular about not using high temps on my stuff . I really don’t like surprise shrinkage.
So I’d do my laundry and get lsundry, but she’d fold her own.
The kids were not cooperative about separating their items – socks were balled up, they’d peel pants and underwear off together leaving f them tangled. Not something I wanted to deal with, so they learned early on how to do their own laundry.
Bonus was that they never even considered rhe “bring stuff home from college to wash” trope.
Nothing wrong with this! Although we never discussed it, my DH and I usually do our own laundry. If I only have a half load, I will throw his in too. Our kids also had to fold and put away their own laundry when they were young and then they became responsible for doing their own laundry.
I married a man with two teenagers who lived with him full time. They were all doing their own laundry when I came on the scene. That didn’t change.
Both my husband and I worked full time. One day early on, I was the last one home, with all of them asking when dinner would be ready. We then began kids and husbands each cook one night a week. We had to eat what they made, but that was fine.
I remember as a kid listening to the adults talking. My aunt was telling a story of how my uncle had done the dishes and came to tell her he had done so. While my aunt stated she saw that he had done the dishes, she said nothing further. Uncle asked her if she was going to thank him. Aunt asked him if he ever thanked her when she did the dishes. That story stuck with me into adulthood. I’ve never once thanked a partner for contributing to the housework, though I have asked Aunt’s question several times.
I’m now in my 50’s and have recently told Aunt how the story stuck with me. She was quite proud that her words had made such an impact on 8 year old me.
Is it really considered petty revenge if I had to refold my clothes to keep them from looking like I jumped on a wrinkle-grenade? Carefully folding uniforms fresh & hot from the dryer is usually good enough.
My wife rarely washes my clothes anymore, and I usually hang all of hers up because she has her own way of sorting, separating, washing, and drying her clothes. I got in trouble for following the instructions on the tag.
Married 20+ years, not doing too badly.
When OH & I moved in together, I washed, dried, ironed & folded all his clothes. Left them on the bed for him to put away. For a week, they were chucked on the floor of an evening so he could sleep, only for me to pick them up & put them back on the bed in the morning.
This went on for SIX weeks, being added to every few days. At the end of the 6 weeks, he was told “if they’re still there on Friday, I’m recycling them…”
Saturday morning, I put them in the car & dropped them off at the recycling centre on the way to work.
I’ve never washed, dried, ironed or folded another item of his since, and that was 17 years ago…
I wish more women would do this. I see so many older couples where the woman ends up doing the majority of the household chores, even after the man retires.
When my late husband and I first got married, I washed, dried and ironed his dress shirts. He ever so kindly (🙄) pointed out that I didn’t use starch, and the one or two spots on the cuffs that I didn’t fully press out correctly. I told him that since it wasn’t to his standards, he could do his own laundry and ironing.
For the next twenty years, he dropped his dress clothes off at the cleaners each week to get washed, starched and pressed.
I loaded our new dishwasher and my wife complained how it was done. I now haven’t used the thing in 15 years.
Husband and I have been married for almost 12 years. I’ll wash things. I won’t put them away tho.
When I moved in with my husband he would nitpick the way I cooked. Haven’t cooked dinner in 13 years. But he has become quite the chef.
I taught my son to do his own at 13..got tired of it.
You know what you say when someone does a tedious but necessary daily task for you?
Thank you.
It isn’t really petty. I believe that the most happy couples have successfully navigated the little weirdnesses and foibles that each of us come with. Hopefully, it’s a long life together and snarking (or worse, fighting) about inconsequential things that sometimes irritate you about the other person is just a sad road to making it unpleasant to be together.
[This is also the basis for the idea that you should NEVER get into a relationship thinking that you will be able to change the other person. If you think they really need changing they are not the person for you and you are not the person for them.]
My fiancé and I shared laundry duties, but I wouldn’t put his clothes away for him. Sometimes I had to dump baskets of clean clothes on his side of the bed because I needed an empty basket and he had never put his clothes away.
My roommate was kind enough to do my laundry yesterday (two loads!) because I have a back injury. He didn’t do it the way I would have, but I simply thanked him profusely for his kindness and thoughtfulness. I’m grateful to have clean clothes.
Generally husband and I do our own clothes laundry. We usually ask if they have an item or two they’d like us to do.
After a few times when I washed his t-shirts or jeans he always said ‘ don’t fold them, just put them on the back of my chair and I’ll fold them’. He hates the way I fold his clothes 🤷🏽♀️ – fine with me.
Tbf I did the same for my brother once to be nice. He’s soooooo picky apparently. So I’ve never done it again.
He’s a wonderful guy who was born an old man, lol. He’s welcome to be picky but I ain’t folding his laundry again.
lol same with my parents! My mom ironed my dads shirt one time, he criticized the way she did it and so she told him it’s up to him then, for the past 38 years he’s either had to iron his own shirts or she would be nice and drop it off at a laundromat for him if he didn’t have time/forgot but she refused to do it herself.
Well my husband prefers to iron his own shirts. Am not allowed to do it. If I do it, he will do it again “properly”. So also have up
If it’s not in the washing basket, I don’t wash it. If I fold your shorts and t-shirts and put them away neatly, and you mess it up when you get one out? They just get stuffed in the drawer now.
Funny, my wife and I had a similar issue. It really only involved my work clothes. She will leave them in the dryer too long or not smooth them when hanging them up and they get very wrinkly.
So I tried to ask her to let me know when she was washing mu clothes so I could grab them from the dryer right away. She would always forget so I asked her to just let me wash and dry my work clothes, but she didn’t want to separate them. So I asked to just do my own laundry, except there was always a load in the washer or dryer that needed to be dried or folded.
Until something of hers she didn’t want to go in the dryer shrunk. Now 10 years later she just does all the laundry and I have wrinkly work clothes.
Well played by your mom, and excellent job teaching kids an important life skill at a young age.
Similar thing when I first did our laundry as a couple. The towels aren’t folded right, my mom does it this other way. Well my mom did it this way. I can fold them like this or you can fold them like your mom.
She folded in thirds, we folded in fourths. So, everything was folded in thirds. I folded his socks in thirds. That’s not right! They get folded in half!
It’s a wonder I kept folding his clothes for the past almost 40 years. 🤣 It must truly be love. LOL
I
Your mother is a genius. Not just that but now she’s raise you and your brothers to know how to do your own laundry so your spouses will have competent partners.
🤣🤣🤣
That happened in my house but it was shirts. I won’t fold any of his shirts and it’s been 10 years.
When my husband and I first moved in together back in 2003, we had an apartment with wall to wall carpeting. I vacuumed while he was still at work and when he got home, he questioned my technique. I told him that if he didn’t like how I vacuumed, he could do it. I haven’t touched a vacuum since.
My parents have been married for 52 years. One week in, my dad said my mom didn’t do it “the way my mom did it.”
Want to guess who still does the ironing? (Sans seams while sewing.)
I love that they still call the other their best friends. 💕
Good idea except if you’re married to a narcissist absolutely nothing will get done and they bitch about that. Loose loose. I don’t miss him a bit.
Petty yes. Revenge… Folding clothes does suck, so sorta? Perfectly adorable yes! It’s awesome that you guys started the laundry that early. I wish my folks had done this. Here it gets backed up. So while it was lame as a kid, I promise it paid off.
My husband and I went through the same thing. I folded up his socks and underwear. He told me that I had done it wrong, that I had clearly never folded a man’s laundry before and that he knew the right way and he would show me how to do it.
I told him that there was no need – he could do it himself from now on. It’s been 20 years and I still leave his shit in a pile on his side of the bed.
The same thing happened with me and my ex (we broke up for different reasons). She folded my socks, and I dunno why but it was just wrong. I thanked her for doing it, and I was trying to explain that I don’t know why it bothered me, but I just had to redo it.
My husband bought a Kirby vacuum when we’d been married for a couple of years, we both worked for non-profits and had a 2 yo. He took out a loan to purchase it. I kinda lost it and told him it was his and he would be the one vacuuming until it died. We’ll, anyone who’s ever owned on knows the dawned things never die. He was the vacuumer until he passed last year. I bought a smaller lighter one and retired the Kirby to the back of the closet. It still works, but it’s the principle 🤣. And I’m old, and it weighs a TON!
💯👏👏👏
They could have bought a house with the money they wasted on detergent for all the extra loads
I’m betting Dad never criticized mom after that back fired on him so spectacularly.
Yeah, we’re a family of 5 and also do it this way. The only downside is having to remember to do your laundry at a time when the washing machine is not occupied by any of the other 4 people in the house. But they’re pretty predictable. My dad somewhere in the weekend, my first brother on Sunday, the other brother very randomly and I think not enough lol, my mom puts towels or bedsheets and stuff in while she WFH in the morning and her clothes once a week in the afternoon on a weekday. So pretty much most afternoons on a weekday are free.
… So now you now you know a strangers laundry schedule for no reason I guess
Of course she did! Everyone (typically developing) over age 12 should be doing their own laundry! Our kids did sports everyday, had jobs, and were very good students and still did their own laundry.
When I got marries the first time, he expected me to do his laundry. I washed it with mine and turned his white button down shirts pink. Last time I did his laundry.
My kids all started doing their own laundry when the became old enough to do so. Both of my sons, after moving into a college dorm, were accosted in the laundry room by students who had no idea how to use a washing machine. They showed them, being good kids, and helped their fellow dorm residents.
See I have mild OCD and it really shows in how I organize my clothing in the closet. I told my husband multiple times that I wanted to be the only one putting away my clothes because of it. We’ve been together for almost five years at this point and he has not only taken the time to learn my system, but still tries to put my clothes away. It’s become a playful argument between us because he does it almost perfect.
Almost.
While still dating, my now wife let me wash my clothes at her house so we could spend time together instead of me at the laundromat. I didn’t finish it in one evening so she took care of the rest on her own. When I came back the next day or so, I pointed out that she had hung my dress shirts wrong. That was the last time she did my laundry. That was 37 years ago. And I’m happy about it because she would still get it wrong!
This works. When I met my husband he was a cook and I was a waitress, he’s from down south while I’m primarily from up north. After we’d been married a few months he pipes up with “why don’t you ever make fried chicken?” I told him I’m a Yankee and I make the New England boiled dinners. You want fried chicken, you make it. He makes excellent fried chicken.
For me, it was putting his shirts on the hanger facing the wrong way. I rarely, if ever do his laundry now, though I might fold if I’m feeling obsessive
My daughter made me a bowl of ramen when she was 8. I told her she added too much water. Never got another bowl of ramen or anything soup-adjacent again, and she is now 22. Learned my lesson.
My hubby hates how i fold his underwear. He has different types (everyday/running) and he likes them each folding a certain way. Well since I have piles of laundry to do with mine, a teenaged son and his running gear AND normal clothes, I can never be bothered, his all gets folded the same way. He brings it up every now and again (and to be honest, I barely remember which way is which anyways) and I just say I don’t have time to fuss with underwear. Well, this year, on his birthday it was laundry day, and lo and behold I folded as he liked as a “treat” – AND to prove that I actually do know exactly what he wants, but find it ridiculous. I’m petty.
It’s the same for my husband & I. We are both very particular about how we like our clothes folded, so we do our own. Kids do their own 👍
One of my ex’s didn’t like the way I did his laundry. He told me to do it like his mommy did. I flat out told him to get his mommy to do it because I wasn’t ever again.😹
My Mom did something similar. When they were first married, she made biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Daddy said something snarky about it not being as good as his mother’s gravy. She has not made gravy since. She even buys and uses canned and jarred gravy. I am 46 and Daddy passed last year. Mom still buys her gravy.
I have too many delicates, and my husband won’t separate darks from lights, so we each do our own and it works great!
Yeah my spouse kept forgetting pens in pockets so we both do our own laundry. Works great.