My (26 f) relationship with my dad (62M) has always been turbulent and complex. Growing up, we truly just did not like each other. He is emotionally immature and I was just immature. However since moving out, and both of us going to therapy, our relationship has gotten slightly better.
About 5 years ago, my dad got an huge promotion at work and moved to a different city from my mom and family. For more context, my dad doesn’t have many friends and family in the states so moving away from us was a big deal. He travels back and forth and sees us maybe 3-5 times a year.
Fast forward to last month, my family and I went to visit him and he was over the moon. Like truly so happy. I have dealt with feeling heavy amounts of guilt in our relationship for years and am actively working on it in therapy, but this truly crushed me. He let us know that the past few years have been very lonely. He has a few acquaintances, but no real friends or connections where he is. He admitted he knows it was the right move for our family (financially) but that he has been lonely and it really broke me. I have been bursting into tears over this for weeks. I feel so guilty that do to my own trauma, it’s so hard for me to pick up the phone and call him, let alone visit more often. He has sacrificed everything for us (immigrated to the US at 19, has never been back home since) and I feel so guilty thay it’s crushing me.
Has anyone been in a similar position? As I get older, I am trying so hard to heal our relationship but there are so many layers and complexities that it can’t happen overnight. The idea of my dad being alone and regretful is killing me and idk how to move on from this.
Tl:DR: I feel very guilty that my dad is lonely dispite our complex relationship. The guilt is overwhelming and i’m not sure what to do.