it’s so confusing.
me and my boyfriend’s family are… eeehhh. he’s not got the best relationship with them either. they are fundamentalist christians, he has recently left the church for good after 7 years of going just to keep them from losing their shit like they did the first time he told them he didn’t want to go anymore.
his mum is so hot and cold with me. so much that neither of us can tell how she actually feels about me. now, i haven’t been to his very often because going to his comes with a lot of rules and restrictions. i’m not allowed upstairs, we can’t really watch tv because his parents strongly dislike what we like – even king of the hill is a no no. so whenever i am there we just spend most of the time sat in silence staring at each other because we can’t really talk freely either as a result of his mum listening in from the dining room.
sometimes i’ll go to his and i’ll think “okay that was great, i’m making progress with them, things will change soon!” but the next time i go i’ll be sat on the bus home like “what the fuck even was that???” because of how hot and cold his mum is. i don’t get it. sometimes she’ll offer me a slice of cake and she’s sat and talked with me before then other times it’s like i’m not even there.
there’s been some upset recently because they went on holiday and i wasn’t invited, which to me felt like a very clear “we don’t accept you as part of this family” when my family have accepted my partner from day one. the reasoning is always that they don’t know me well enough, but when i go over there to try and help them understand me better they don’t interact with me!
we argued a few weeks ago because i was going to go to his to watch the f1, and his mum said “okay but you have to watch downstairs”. we were going to be watching with his brother. bf has a brand new TV in his room and i was excited to watch in 4k. and i was annoyed because i felt she was implying i couldn’t be trusted around them both. a lot of these rules, to me, feel like they have an undertone of implying i’m a whore or something because they exist for preventing sex, right? which isn’t something i’d do in their house at all, much less with his brother in the room and it bothers me that they seem to believe these things are things i’m so likely to do that they have rules to “prevent” me from doing them.
i’m just so confused.
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I would love to give you advice but I think we are in the same boat. I just posted if you wanna read. If I get some good advice I’ll drop it in the comments for you🫶🏽 Good luck 💕
Edit: Maybe next time something happens, act clueless so she reveals her intentions. No TV upstairs? Asked her “Oh? Is it broken? 🙂”
You posted this same thing here 2 weeks ago and got plenty of responses.